


Horsepower of a Different Kind

by xXVahaHarenXx



Series: Horsepower Series [1]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Season/Series 01, Sexual Content, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-14 19:05:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 34
Words: 54,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXVahaHarenXx/pseuds/xXVahaHarenXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"God damn..." I took a breath staring at her eyes. "Those eyes... the colour of liquid silver." Every good woman bears scars and this new Finnish woman Oswald's hired wears hers with pride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or it's characters only the slightly insane Finnish OC and a few other random characters that pop up. Sons of Anarchy was created by the amazing Kurt Sutter therefore I make no money of this piece of writing that sprouted forth from the depths of my depraved mind.

**Opposite Ends of the Spectrum**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

"So who's that sweet piece of ass Oswald's got working for him?" Tig asked eyeing the backside of the woman standing grooming a bright chestnut filly, she was decked out in a pair of bright fire engine red skinny jeans, scuffed black tall boots, a black low cut tank top and red and black plaid over shirt.

She untied the horse and turned, surprise in her eyes as she led the filly past us towards the walker we'd walked past just minutes before. _God damn..._ I took a breath staring at her eyes. _Those eyes... the colour of liquid silver._

" _That_ is some sweet piece of ass" I nodded in agreement to Tig as I watched the woman walk away, tall posture, straight back, head high, she was an alpha and one that probably wouldn't back down without a fight.

"Come to harass my staff now have you?" Oswald asked as he stepped out of a stall. "She's my new trainer and rider" He stated motioning towards the woman we'd all been watching.

"What's her name?"

"Ta..."He paused. "Taru? I think that's how to pronounce it," He looked towards her. "She's a Finn out of Helsinki"

"God damn foreign pussy..." Tig grinned. "Think she'd be up for a bit of fun"

"Get in line Tigger, I'll be gettin' that ass before ya do brother" I stated with a chuckle as she made her way back over and slid past Clay.

"Grace is on the walker; Tilly and Hunter are in the yards. I'll work Tilly this afternoon" She said to Oswald, a thick Finnish accent lacing her words, as she knelt down picking up the grooming kit before standing up.

"Alright, bring Hunter in, work the jumps"

She gave a nod and picked up a rope halter before moving towards the yards at the end of the block.

I glanced over at Clay as he walked off with Oswald to talk business and returned to watching the Finn, a massive bay coloured gelding walked behind her as she made her way back towards where her gear was laid out.

Tig whistled lowly. "Look at that rack"

I shifted my eyes from her face towards her chest and grinned softly. _Nice tits, big tits, beautiful tits._ The Finn's eyes come up to land on Tig; she smirked slightly hitching the horse before beginning to unclip his rug.

"Well _I'm_ goin' ta go introduce myself before _you_ scare her off," I stated with a grin before heading towards the Finn and the leggy bay gelding she was grooming. "Hello darlin'"

She glanced over her shoulder at me as I lent against the wooden side of the stall. "Hello yourself" She said before pulling the rug off the horses back and started to fold it before placing it on the rail outside the stall.

"I'm surprised ya haven't ask my name love"

The Finn looked up from checking the large bay gelding over. "Oswald's business is none of my business" She stated as she turned back to the gelding and ran a hand smoothly along his ribs.

My eyes landed on her ass as she bent over to pick out the gelding's hooves. _Lovely ass, firm, round, fills out her jeans._ I watched as the horse turned and nuzzled his nose against the back of her jeans before biting lightly.

He snorted and jumped slightly as the Finn slapped his belly. "Cut that shit out" She stated leaning under him to pick up his offside hoof.

A slight grin slipped to my lips. "Seems likes he likes ya love"

She straightened up before leaning against the horses hindquarters. "He likes a lot of things but he hasn't got the balls to please the ladies" She stated and picked up the black leather jumping saddle placing it on his back on top of the white saddle blanket.

"So ya from Helsinki huh? Nice place?" I asked casually.

She grinned softly. "I'm from Lapland not Helsinki" She corrected.

"There's a difference?"

She glanced up at me. "Is there a difference between Glasgow and Wick?"

"Ah! Ya have me there my fine young lady"

She snorted slightly. "Far from young kulta" She stated as she bridled the snorting gelding and booted up his legs.

 _Far from young huh? She can't be more than what? Mid to late twenties? Twenty seven at the most._ "How long have ya been in Charming?"

She looked over, running her eyes over me for a second. "About a month" She stated turning back to the gelding and tightening her girth.

"Do ya need a leg up?"

A small smile passed her lips. "I think I got it kulta" She stated before placing a foot in the stirrup and swinging up onto the gelding's back.

"So ya names Taru right?"

She nodded gathering her reins and nudging the horse into a lazy walk before stopping him at the end of the stable and pulled off her over shirt hanging it on a hook. _Jesus look at that ink work._ I took in the tattoos I could see on her arm, her entire body was well defined with skin stretched over underlying muscles leaving her with great definition and killer lady curves.

"If you want I'll tell you about them sometime" Her comment caught me off guard as she looked down with a grin before nudging the gelding's ribs as she headed towards the arena gate.

"So?"

I glanced to Tig and grinned softly. "What's there ta say brother?" I turned to watch the Finn in the arena, a course of eight jumps set up that she was moving around the outside of.

I couldn't keep my eyes off her body as she kept her head up working the gelding slowly into a steady canter towards the first jump. I felt the blood rush south as she pressed herself to the gelding, body arched, legs wrapped around the gelding's sides and head tilted towards the next jump as she judged the best line towards it.

Both horse and rider's muscles bunched and released as they worked towards the next jump, the gelding's well groomed coat shone under the suns light, his muscles rippling beneath the thin blanket of bright brown fur as he reared and spun around trying to unseat his rider. The Finn seated herself and pulled him into a tight circle several times before he finally calmed down long enough to continue on.

"Love to see what that body could do on top of me," Tig stated watching the Finn before idly rubbing at his crotch. "She must be like a damn contortionist"

"As I said before brother, get in line"

"I don't see your mark on her"

"Not yet Tig, but give me some time and it'll be there" I grinned softly watching horse and rider tackle the next jump, a wide water type of jump. _Nice tight round ass that fills out her jeans, damn beautiful tits._ My thoughts drifted into the gutter as my pants tightened as I watched her. I looked back at Clay as he and Oswald came back from talking.

"Tig and Chibs will come back tomorrow when you've got the cash" I took one last glance at the Finn as she tackled a daunting looking wall on the gelding, the tip of his hooves just clipping the top row of boxes causing them to topple down.

"Alright" Oswald nodded and settled his eyes on Taru.

"So what's the deal with her? Need new blood?"

Oswald nodded. "I needed a trainer that I can trust; she's one of the best, friendly enough albeit a bit eccentric"

"Where'd you find her?" Tig asked watching as she brought the gelding round to attempt the straight bar again after he'd run out at it.

"Online, she wanted a new job and jumped at the chance to move countries with her three horses"

"How old is she?" I asked watching her; she barely looked out of her twenties.

"Thirty two and as tough as nails, she can do ten times the work my stable hands can, she might not look strong but she is, don't let her looks deceive you"

I watched the Finn for a minute longer before Clay motioned it was time to go, I looked to arena finding it empty and the Finn was walking back up to the stables on a loose rein, a light sheen of sweat covering her pale tanned skin, she brushed back her loose short shaggy black strands of hair and threw me a sly smile which I couldn't help but return as I followed Tig and Clay out to our Harley's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kulta - Finnish for Darling/Sweetheart. The context I use it in is Darling.


	2. Money Collection Agency

**Money Collection Agency**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I yawned and rubbed the back of my neck before groaning softly and heading towards the shower, I'd been at the track all morning with Dev and several of Oswald's horses getting them in racing condition for the weekend's races.

I stepped into the spray of the water and sighed deeply listening to the music that flowed from the radio sitting on the side table in my bedroom. I had half an hour to get ready before heading into the stables, I groaned lowly closing my eyes only for that damned Scotsman I'd met the previous day to enter my thoughts; I scrubbed at my eyes and face under the hot spray of water before tipping shampoo into my hands and running it through my hair. _I really have to get my mind back on track; I don't_ _ **want**_ _to make friends with the bad boys._ I sighed deeply as I scrubbed at my scalp. _Been there, done that, gained the rap sheet. I_ _ **can't**_ _do it again._ I rinsed off and stepped out of the shower before wrapping a towel around my lithe frame and headed towards the bedroom turning up the music as I began to sift through my clothing to find something half way decent and clean to wear.

I sighed softly grabbing my knife and slid it through the tape on the top of a box I still had yet to unpack. A quarter of my things were unpacked, the other three quarters was sitting in the spare room waiting to be unpacked, mostly books, figurines and old clothing that was ten times too big or small for me now.

I rifled through the box and grinned softly pulling out a black polo, I sniffed it briefly before throwing it on the bed with a matching bra and underwear. I slid the knife into another box ripping through the tape before pulling out a pair of beige jodhpurs and threw them to the bed with a black pain leather belt.

I dressed quickly after drying off and pulled on my socks and boots before cramming a black trucker cap over my head and headed out.

The muscle car engine growled lowly as I stopped in the small car park, the 1969 Dodge Charger was my pride and joy next to my three horses, I'd restored the American muscle car to its former glory after buying it as a burnt out heap from a scrap yard; a year of blood, sweat and tears had gone into it before I'd sent it off to be painted by a friend who'd done an excellent job of painting it electric blue with a pair of black bonnet stripes.

"Morning Taru, how were they this morning?"

"Tilly's running a bit slow but she should be fine by the weekend and Smokey's having his new rider on but other that they're all doing fine"

"Great"

I gave a nod to Elliot and headed towards the stables to start derugging the first set of horses.

I slid into Jess' stall and unbuckled the light sweat sheet quickly before folding it. "Breakfast will be ready in a minute" I stated scratching the thick white blaze on her forehead. She whickered softly nudging my shoulder before following me to the door. I hung up her cover outside her stall and headed towards the next stall.

I'd just finished putting the last of the horse out for the morning when the roar of motorcycles filled the air. I glanced towards the driveway and headed towards Dev's stall to groom him and turn him out for the day.

* * *

"Look at that sweet ass"

I turned to face the person who had spoken about me. "Excuse me?" I'd let the comment slide the day before but not this time.

"Just complimenting your ass beautiful"

I rolled my eyes before turning away. "Well don't" I stated running the brush over Dev's sides.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't know me and I'm sure as hell not a piece of meat for you to fawn over" Dev snorted stamping his hoof and struck out as I ran over a ticklish spot on his underbelly.

"Do you know where Oswald is?"

"Try the first block, if he's not there he'll be in the arena" I said over my shoulder before putting the brush away and picked up Dev's tail to untangle it.

"Sorry 'bout Tig, he's an," The Scotsman paused searching for the right word." _Acquired_ taste"

I glanced up at him and nodded lightly. "I gathered as much" I turned back to the task at hand and picked bits of bedding out of Dev's tail.

"Fine looking stallion"

I nodded not drawing my eyes away from the task at hand. "The Devils Gunslinger, Finland's fastest steeplechaser"

"I'm Chibs" He extended his hand which I took and shook.

"Interesting name"

"So is Taru"

I shrugged lightly. "It's a Finnish name"

"Got any meaning behind it?"

I nodded and focused on Dev's tail again.

"Well?"

"Me to know and you to find out" I stated running a comb through the black tail and let it drop back flat.

"Aw, now don't do that ta me"

I grinned softly shaking my head before untying Dev and headed towards the paddock near the stables that he shared with Duke.

I stalled as Chibs opened the gate for me. _Tattoos and Chivalry, here I was thinking manners were dead._ "Thank you"

He nodded pulling the gate closed as I released Dev and let him canter off before giving Duke a kiss on the cheek. "Is he yours too?"

I nodded. "Duke was my first horse, he's," I paused trying to remember how old he was. "Twenty seven now"

"Not bad looking for an old boy"

I nodded lightly and slipped between the rails. _He's not bad for a biker, hot bod and friendly enough._ I shook my head lightly and checked the gate was shut before heading to the yards. _Now is he just being friendly to get into my pants or is he genuinely friendly?_

"Do ya want ta get a drink some time?"

I glanced up at him; he wasn't much taller than me, only a few inches, probably just over six foot. _Do I_ _ **want**_ _to get drinks? Yes._ _ **Should**_ _I get drinks with him? Probably not. Perhaps just one night couldn't be so bad. I mean what could_ _ **possibly**_ _go wrong?_ "I suppose" My mind began screaming at me. _I am_ _ **so**_ _going to regret this later on._

He grinned softly. "Great, don't suppose ya had much of a chance to see Charming have ya?"

I shrugged lightly. "Not really, between moving in and working I've been between here, my home, the track, the supermarket and the gas station"

"When do ya want ta go out?"

"Tomorrow night?"

He nodded, a slight smile gracing his lips. "I'll pick ya up at seven"

I gave a light nod looking to his friend who was coming back carrying a duffel bag. My heart hammered in my chest as they walked off and I stalled before turning towards them. "Hey Chibs!"

He glanced back. "What is it darlin'?"

"I'm going to assume you're a mind reader since you didn't ask for my address"

His lips twitched before he made his way back over. "I suppose that would be a good idea"

"It's not too far from town, down on Blackwell drive," I grinned softly. "You can't miss the electric blue monster parked in the driveway"

He chuckled softly and nodded. "Alright, see ya tomorrow"

I nodded before he ducked slightly pressing a kiss to my cheek and turned following his friend out. _I am_ _ **defiantly**_ _going to regret this later on._


	3. Drinking

**Drinking**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I settled on the couch and waited, I'd showered and dressed an hour ago and spent most of the hour pacing listening to a good dose of heavy metal. I stood up and began pacing again before stopping to check my reflection in the mirror. I'd decked myself out in a pair of black skinny jeans, red leather bustier that fell to the bottom of my ribs, a red and black studded belt, black knee high combats and a black leather jacket.

The low rumble of a Harley made me look up; I could just hear it over the music. _Why in hell's name am I so nervous? It's just drinks for fuck sake._ I downed my glass of whiskey, wincing lightly as it burned my throat, and headed towards the front door, my nerves somewhat steadied by the whiskey as I opened the door.

I licked my dry lips before throwing Chibs a light smile, his eyes raking over every inch of exposed skin before he finally looked up. "Ready ta go?"

I nodded flicking the music and lights off before pulling the door shut and heading out towards his Harley. I whistled lowly and grinned. "Dyna right?"

He nodded before handing me a helmet. "Jump on love and hold tight"

I slid on behind him after buckling the helmet and seated myself close enough before wrapping my arms around his waist loosely as he started it up and pulled out onto the street.

 

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I felt her chest press against my kutte and savored the feeling of it as well as the feeling of her arms wrapped loosely around my waist, she was relaxed on the back of a bike even when we were traveling faster than we probably should have. I shuddered lightly as calloused fingertips pressed against the skin of my torso, she'd managed to snake her fingers under my shirt without my knowledge.

_I should probably concentrate on the road before I have us in a ditch._ I focused my mind from her fingers to the road and felt her body shudder lightly against mine sending my mind spiraling back into the gutter. _The sooner we get to this god damn bar the better._ I revved my bike giving it more gas as the road leveled out into a flat, clear, silent street.

I pulled up outside a bar and suppressed a shudder as her hands slowly removed themselves from my torso as she slid off the back and unbuckled her helmet. "Not ya first time is it?"

She grinned lightly and shook her head holding out the helmet. "I used to own a Rocker"

" _Used ta?_ I'm sensing there's a story behind that"

"There is but it's for another time," She stated waving her hand dismissively before waiting for me. I took another chance to take her in and grinned softly, she wasn't afraid to show off her body. "You know, my face is much prettier than my tits"

I ripped my eyes up to her face, the heat rising up my face after being caught staring. A cocky grin spread to her lips before she tilted her head towards the bar in question, I nodded and slung an arm around her shoulders steering her inside.

* * *

"I'm going to take a random stab and say you're Scottish but you've got an Irish edge to your voice so I'd take a wild guess and say you grew up there?"

"Ya very observant love"

She grinned. "Well it's a good trait if you want to stay alive, that and the gift and curse of an eidetic memory means I very rarely miss a thing"

"Have ya always lived in Lapland?"

"Mostly, born there, grew up there and Oulu, bounced around between Helsinki, Vallila and Ylläs quite a bit"

"When's ya stally racin' next?"

She looked up from her drink contemplating for a moment before answering. "This Saturday, he and several others of Oswald's"

"Alrigh'," I grinned softly. _Time to learn a bit more about you._ "Twenty questions time"

The Finn before me grinned and nodded. "Fire away kulta" She stated taking a long drink from her bottle.

"Favourite movie?"

"The Hitcher remake with Sean Bean in it"

"Band?"

"Him"

"Him?"

She nodded. "Home grown band from Finland"

"Alright, cage or Harley?"

"Depends"

"On what?"

"On if it's my Charger or not," She gave a flicker of a dangerous smile. " _Never_ ask me to choose between my Charger and another car" She stated finishing off her bottle.

"Alrigh', summer or winter?"

"Winter"

"Really?"

She nodded. "I grew up in a cold country remember, I practically live with ice in my veins," She let a slight smile slide to her lips. "Plus nothing beats Helsinki in the winter time"

I chuckled softly motioning for another set of drinks. "What's ya take on life in general?"

She shrugged off her jacket and folded it over her lap before twisting her right forearm for me to see. I reached out tracing the black inked words in her skin on her inner arm. _Life is an unending highway, so kick off the cruise control and take the wheel._ Underneath the bold tattooed words were a series of jagged scars, some deeper than others going up the length of her arm. _What in hells name did that that to her?_

"Interestin' concept"

She gave a nod. "Well death is just another exit on life's highway, so you might as well live life how you want it"

"What about religion?"

"Turned my back on god much to my grandfather's disappointment," She took a sip from her drink. "I came to the conclusion I would rather spent every day of my life sinning and doing what I want then spend them on my knees begging for forgiveness from a god I don't even know exists"

"What 'bout love?"

She stalled slightly, her breath hitching in her throat before she shook her head lightly. "I've had my run with love, I don't know if I'd be _able_ or _willing_ do to it again," She took another drink. "But in saying that I'll take a good time where I can get it providing I don't have to pay for it"

I took a drink and watched her for a minute, sorrow in her bright piercing liquid silver coloured eyes before it was replaced by one of hate and anger. "Looks like wehave a bit in common then" My thoughts drifting to Fiona and Kerrianne briefly.

A weak smile slipped to her lips before she nodded and looked to the bottle in her hands. "You know I have a bottle of fifteen year old whiskey at home that I haven't had a chance to drink yet"

"Shit, really? Fifteen years, that'll be some volatile shit"

She grinned softly and nodded. "Best thing if you want to get drunk fast and can actually hold your drink"

"Well why don't we head back ta ya place and test it out then?"

She glanced over at me before nodding and downing the bottle. "Sure thing"

* * *

=Taru's P.O.V=

I woke with a soft groan, arms wrapped around my waist, a leg hooked over mine keeping me from falling off the edge of the couch. I looked around and blinked slowly before the ringing of my cell drew my attention. I looked to the half naked Scotsman who was pressed up behind me and slowly began to untangle myself from him trying my best not to wake him.

I grabbed the phone as soon as I was clear and cursed spotting the time. "Hello?"

"Taru? Where are you? You didn't show up at the track this morning"

I racked my brains for a quick excuse. "I know, I over slept, fucking alarm didn't go off" Silently my mind cheered my half way decent excuse.

"I'll meet you at the stables"

I glanced to Chibs on the couch and wet my lips. "Sure thing Elliot, I'll have a quick shower then head out" I glanced at my reflection in the window, hair a mess and clothes askew.

"Alright, see you soon"

I yawned softly and made a pot of coffee leaving it to heat up while I headed to the shower before stripping off.

I stood under the spray for a few minutes letting it soak into my aching muscles and bones. _That is the_ _ **last**_ _fucking time I sleep on that couch with another person._ I groaned softly rubbing at the aching muscle in the back of my neck before rinsing off and stepping out.

I froze hearing a groan and quickly wrapped the towel around my body before opening the door to find Chibs standing at the end of the hallway. "Morning"

"Mornin'," He mumbled softly clutching his head. "That was some bloody good whiskey"

I nodded heading towards him and watched him blink before clutching his head again. "There's coffee brewing and I'm late for work" I stated heading into the kitchen to grab the pot of coffee and two mugs.

"Ya know, ya really shouldn't tease me by wandering round in a towel"

I grinned softly pushing a cup of coffee towards him. "Milks in the fridge, sugars on the counter" I stated sipping at my own black coffee before heading towards the bedroom to change.

"Da ya want me to drop ya off?"

I spun to face to doorway, shirt held up to my chest as I glared at Chibs. "I'll be alright now please remove yourself from my bedroom before you have something thrown at you" I stated as politely as I could before turning my back to him and quickly threw my tank top on before yanking my socks and boots on.

"You gonna be alright to ride?" I called out as I pulled my hoodie on and grabbed my keys.

"I'm touched that ya care darlin' but I'll be fine"

I shook my head slightly and motioned to the couch. "You can sleep for a bit longer if you want or take a shower; just lock the door when you're done"

"Ya trust me enough to be left alone in ya house?"

"Well all this shit is just material shit anyway; I only care about four things, my three horses and my Charger so if you want to steal something go ahead" I stated with a shrug before sliding my phone and iPod into my pocket.

"Have fun at work"

I stalled in the doorway watching him with a cocked eyebrow. _That was just too damn weird._ I shook my head and headed out to my Charger before smiling lightly and chuckling softly. _I will definitely regret last night at some point; it can't end well for me or for him._


	4. Weekend Races

**Weekend Races**

=Taru's P.O.V=

"Come on, come on, get those two loaded," I stated as I slid past Tilly who was refusing to be loaded into the truck. "We need to get on the road in ten"

"She won't go on"

I rolled my eyes taking Tilly's lead rope before leading her away from the truck and turned her towards it. "Come on Tilly, it's your maiden race today, don't let me down," I cooed softly before tugging on the lead rope, I gave an agitated sigh as she refused to budge at the end of the ramp and took the end of the lead rope before flicking it against her belly. "You've never had a problem with the truck before now quit being a stubborn cow," She squealed and snorted side stepping before finally walking up the ramp with me. "Load Grace next to Tilly and then put Smokey at the end, he hates the middle of the truck" I stated before heading towards my own truck to load Dev and Harry.

I slung Dev's lead rope around his neck letting him make his own way up the ramp and led Harry up shutting the gate over before clipping both stallion and gelding into place before closing up.

"I'll be late Taru, get everything sorted"

I gave a nod to Elliot and slipped into the cab of my truck before starting it up and heading out the gates following Oswald's truck.

_You're the fuel to the fire_  
You're the weapons of war  
You're the irony of justice  
And the father of law

I hummed along to the music as I drove and flicked my eyes over the road before shrugging off my hoodie and over shirt I was wearing leaving me in black skinny jeans, studded belt, black combats and a bright red tank top.

_I've been waiting for awhile to meet you_   
_For the chance to shake your hand_   
_To give you thanks for all the suffering you command_   
_And when all is over and we return to dust_   
_Who will be my judge and which one do I trust_

I sighed softly rubbing idly at my neck as I waited to turn down the road to the race track. _I wonder if the Scotsman will be there? Why else would he have asked when Dev is racing if he wasn't going to put down some cash?_ I shook my head and hit the gas and released the clutch changing gears as the road cleared.

_You're the champion of sorrow_   
_You're the love and the pain_   
_You're the fighter of evil_   
_Yet you're one in the same_

I came to a halt waiting to turn into the racetrack, Chibs on my mind as I thought about how close we'd come to actually fucking on that couch. I shook my head lightly and moved off as a gap cleared in the traffic. _I really have to stop thinking about him, but god damn those eyes and that attitude._ I sighed deeply pulling up near the stable block and rested my head against the steering wheel listening to the song as it played out.

_I've been waiting for awhile to meet you_   
_For the chance to shake your hand_   
_To give you thanks for all the suffering you command_   
_And when all is over and we return to dust_   
_Who will be my judge and which one do I trust?_

I finally looked up and sighed softly. _I'm gonna get in over my god damn head again, hell he probably only looks at me like a quick fuck anyway._ I grabbed my trucker cap and crammed it on my head before pushing open the door. _Can I really stand for that? A quick fuck without it turning into something else?_ I growled in frustration and slammed the door shut hard making the cab of the black and red 6 horse truck rattle.

* * *

I settled Dev and Harry in their stalls and quickly set about getting Grace ready for her first race. _Reminder to self. Place bet as soon as I'm done here._ I handed Grace off and set into tacking up several others.

"Everything alright?"

I glanced up to find Elliot standing there patting Gin's cheek. "Fine," I glanced back to the bandage I was wrapping around the bay gelding's leg. "Placing any bets?"

He nodded and handed me the last bandage. "You?"

I nodded. "Dev's a sure fire winner for today, it'll be interesting to see how he goes with a different jockey" I stated as I stood and slipped under the chains before grinning and pulling a marshmallow from the bag in my jacket pocket and handed it to Dev.

"You'll make that horse fat Taru"

I grinned softly turning to see James. "No I won't, he loves his marshmallow's don't you gorgeous?" I asked cooing softly to Dev before kissing his nose before turning back to James. "Ready for today?"

"Sure as hell am Taru, you ready to watch this horse fly?"

I grinned and nodded to the barely 5ft tall jockey who would be riding Dev in today race. "If he runs alright with you what do you say to a permanent roll? Up the percentage of winnings, fifteen percent instead of five?"

"Serious?" I nodded as he extended his hand. "You've got yourself a deal Taru" I grinned softly shaking his hand.

"Great, he's racing third race, middle of the gates, just be sure to hold him back until you near the end and then let him have his head," I stated before turning serious. "And whatever you do…"

"Don't use the whip on him"

I nodded. "I'm serious James, he'll rear up and freak out and this season will be his last, I want him to go out sound and in style"

"Alright my dear Finnish lady, I'll heed your words now go place your bets and I'll be down here when I'm ready"

I chuckled softly watching him walk off before I shook my head and gave Dev one last marshmallow and headed to the bookies.

* * *

"Hey Finland!"

I spun around hearing a familiar tone and came face to face with Tig and several others. "Finland? Really? Couldn't be a bit more creative?" I asked before resting my eyes on the boards.

"Wanna help a brother make some money?"

I looked to Tig with a cocked eyebrow before motioning to the boards. "You've got no clue on how this all works do you?" I glanced over the rest of the group before my eyes landed on Chibs chatting up some blonde in a short skirt.

"Just give me a hand would you? Who would you pick?"

"Race one, Charging Glory for a win. Race two Jury's Pride for a win, Gosh my Love for a place. Race three The Devils Gunslinger for a win, Handy Andy for a place alongside Pretty Penny and Super King. Race four Lingo Bingo for a win. Race five Killing Floor for a win and Mary J for a place" I rattled off not taking my eyes off the boards.

"What about your horse?"

I grinned softly. "Race three, The Devils Gunslinger, he _is_ my horse"

"Great, thanks doll" He lent over pressing a kiss to my cheek before sauntering back over to the rest of the group with the information before I headed towards the bookies window.

"Hey darlin'"

I looked up from checking over my ticket to see Chibs. "Hey," I glanced around him to see the blonde watching with a glare. "Your lady friend looks jealous" I stated tucking the ticket down into my bra.

Chibs laughed softly glancing back at the woman. "She's not a friend darlin' she's a crow eater"

_A crow eater?_ I paused for a second. _Do I dare ask?_ I shook my head. _On second thoughts I really_ _ **don't**_ _wanna know._

"Ya alrigh'?"

I nodded before motioning towards the track. "The first race will be in ten minutes, better go get a good spot, I'll be down there for Dev's race"

He gave a nod. "See ya for the race then" He pressed a kiss to my cheek and let me leave in a stunned silence.

_Really can't do that, must stop him next time._ My mind was screaming at me the entire way back to the stables. I wanted to spend time with Dev before his race, feed him some more marshmallows and make sure he was running his best.

I sighed softly coming to a halt in front of Dev and ducked under the chains before wrapping my arms around his neck and took in a deep breath of his scent before sighing contently. "What am I gonna do Dev?" I asked into his neck before I felt his muscles move, his teeth lightly nipped at my jacket pocket in an attempt to get another marshmallow. "You always know how to make me feel better huh?" I chuckled softly pulling one out and smiled softly. "Here you go handsome, bring mama home some cash would ya; you, Jess and Duke need new covers and I need to paint that place I call home right now"

He snorted lightly and nudged my ribs bringing a genuine smile to my lips.

* * *

I made my way to the track side and gave a nod to Elliot as I passed him and his wife before an arm snaked around my waist. I contemplated starting a fist fight until I saw who it was and let my clenched fist drop back to my side. "You really shouldn't do that to me Chibs"

"And why's that?"

"Do it next time and you'll find out" I stated before leaning on the railing, the jumps were being moved out onto the track ready for the third race.

"Ya really think ya boys goin' ta win?"

I nodded. "Devlin will put his heart and soul into a race even if he has _no_ chance of winning"

"So Chibs? Going to introduce us?"

I straightened up and turned around to see a couple behind us, the male I recognized from the first time they'd come to the stables. "Sorry Gem," Chibs grinned sheepishly. "Gemma, Clay, this is Taru; Taru, Gemma and Clay"

"Nice to meet you" I extended my hand in a show of good faith which she took and shook with a firm shake that I returned.

"So you're the piece of foreign pussy Tig's been talking about"

"I guess I must be" I stated before the starting bells rang.

"Who're you bettin' on?"

"My boy, The Devils Gunslinger"

"Any good?"

"Finland's finest steeple chasing stallion" I stated before scanning my eyes over the horses as they races.

"Which one is he?"

I glanced to Gemma motioning to the front runners. "Big black one running in forth"

She looked to me and then the field. "I thought he was good?"

I tapped the edge of my nose. "Secrets I can't share to do with Dev, he'll come out on top, don't worry" I grinned lightly, my heart hammering in time to the hoof beats and blood racing through my veins mixing with the adrenaline.

I grinned impishly as Dev streaked past the three front runners towards the finish line taking each jump with style and ease.

"Jesus look at the horse fly" Clay commented watching Dev chew up the track before flying past the finish line.

"If you'll excuse me I need to get my ass back to work" I stated sliding through the crowd and hurrying back to the stabled to greet Dev.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned at the beginning is Naked Sunday by Stone Temple Pilots.


	5. Party

**Party**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I glanced at my appearance in the bathroom mirror, the memory from earlier in the day still playing in my mind.

" _We have struck gold brothers!" Tig stated as he came over with a cheque in his hands. "All thanks to this little minx right here and her winning horse's" He stated slinging an arm around my shoulder and pulled me away from talking with Elliot, I shot him a quick apologetic look before jamming a broken nail into Tig's side._

" _Hands off"_

_He grinned handing the cheque to Clay. "Well I'll be damned," Gemma glanced over at it, her jaw falling slack slightly. "Looks like there'll be a party tonight brother"_

_I felt my phone vibrate and quickly rifled through my jacket to find it, I pulled out the pack of marshmallow and held them between my teeth before fishing out my phone and quickly hit cancel before sliding it back into my pocket._

" _Why the hell are ya carryin' marshmallow's in ya pocket?"_

_I looked to the marshmallows in my hands before looking to Chibs. "Dev's marshmallows, he loves them as a treat," I stated slowly before putting them away. "And no you can't have any," I added before glancing over my shoulder. "I have to get back to work; need to truck the horses home, it was good to meet you"_

" _Taru," I turned back to the small group and nodded in Clay's direction. "Come to the party at the clubhouse tonight, after all we couldn't have won this without your help"_

_I thought it over for a second before nodding. "Sure but where exactly is the clubhouse?"_

" _Teller-Morrow garage, just follow the music, booze and pussy"_

_I chuckled softly before nodding and heading towards the stables with Elliot._

I twisted my lips before raking a comb through my shaggy black locks and sighed softly turning flipping the light switch off as I went. I decided to deck myself out in a pair of neon green skinny jeans, black high top chucks, a black and green studded belt, a black tank top with H.I.M scrawled across the breasts and a red and black plaid over shirt.

I grabbed my keys, wallet, lighter, smoke, iPod and phone before heading out to my Charger. "This is gonna be one hell of a night" I stated looking at my reflection in the rear view mirror before lighting up and pulling out onto the road.

* * *

The music and chatter met my ears as I pulled into the Teller-Morrow drive and headed towards the brightly lit area off towards one side. Harley's lined on one side, cars on the other. I backed into a spot near the garage and slid out before grinning as I saw Chibs heading my way.

"Good to see ya love," He tucked his arm around my shoulders and led me towards the clubhouse, music, booze and chatter spilling out into the boxing area as people cheered the boxers on. "Welcome to club Reaper"

"Finland! There you are!" I cocked an eyebrow up at Tig's over enthusiastic response to my arrival as he made his way over to us. I yelped as his arms circled around me and hauled me up stealing me away from Chibs who was laughing.

" _Jeesus vittu Kristus! Arvioida we heittää aiemmin te humauttaa minun johtaa model after jokin"_ I stated loudly slapping the back of his head lightly before he dumped me on my feet at the bar where a few other guys were laughing.

"So you're the infamous Finnish lady Chibs' been dreaming about then," A blonde extended his hand. "Jax Teller" He said with a light laugh.

"Taru Mäki" I stated shaking his hand before a Latino looking guy handed me a beer.

"I'm Juice, that's Piney," He nodded towards an older guy at the end of the bar with an oxygen pipe and tank. "That's Bobby," He motioned towards a fatter guy who was getting a lap dance from some ugly looking brunette with a nose piercing. "And I think you know everyone else"

"Pleasure to meet you" I stated taking the beer.

"Likewise"

Chibs settled on a stool next to me and grinned lightly, it had barely registered that this was the first time, sober, that I'd seen him without his glasses on. I took a minute to study his eyes and felt a light smile tug at my lips.

"Come on, share a dance with me" He stated tugging the bottle out of hand before pulling me to the small dance floor where people were dancing and watching the pole dancing.

* * *

I let out a low breath as I made my way back to the bar, my skin covered in a light coating of sweat. "Here"

I looked up at the guy at the bar and nodded my thanks. _"Kiitos,"_ I watched his brow furrow in confusion. "Thank you," I clarified before taking a sip of the cold beer. "So what's your name?"

"Half-Sack"

"Seriously? Or is that just a nickname?"

"My names Kip, everyone around here just calls me Half-Sack"

"Do I tempt fate and ask why?"

He began unbuckling his belt and I averted my eyes before he pulled out his junk, I took a quick glance and looked up to his face. "How in hell's name did that happen?" I asked as he quickly put everything away.

"Ya'd better not be showing off ya deformed nuts ta my lady Prospect" Chibs stated leaning over the bar, one hand pressed against my lower back.

"Don't worry kulta, I've seen enough dicks in my time, one more won't make a difference" I stated grinning before taking a long drink before glancing to Chibs.

"Want ta come watch the boxing?"

I gave a nod before following Chibs out to the picnic table that Tig, Clay and Gemma were sat at watching the boxing from afar.

"There you are, Tig said you were here," Clay handed me an envelope. "Your cut from the winnings"

I shook my head handing it back. "I made more than enough from today, keep it, put it towards whatever you need" I stated before Chibs sat down, I took a seat on the top of the table cross legged and watched the two fighters in the ring.

"How'd you get here?"

I motioned towards my Charger. "That beauty right there" I stated to Gemma. A strong sense of distrust rolled off her.

"That cage is yours? Must have cost a good deal"

I shrugged lightly before pulling out my iPhone and handing it to Tig after flicking to the pictures. "That's what it looked like when I bought it" I stated watching his eyes move between the phone and the Charger sitting on the opposite side of the forecourt.

"It looks like a burnt out hunk of shit"

"It _was_ a burnt out hunk of shit, took me a year of blood, sweat and grease but I restored it to what you see now," I grinned lightly. "Well all except the paint work, that was done by a friend"

"Shit, what's that?" Half-Sack asked looking over Tig's shoulder at the photos.

"My Charger when I bought it" I stated nodding towards my pride and joy. I glanced to Chibs and watched him for a second, his hazel eyes on the boxing ring. I finished off the last of my bottle before taking my phone back from Tig who was scrolling through the rest of the photos.

I glanced at Gemma as she pulled Clay up and nodded her head towards the clubhouse before giving him a sly wink. I turned towards Tig as his hand ventured onto the table, his eyes on mine as it snaked under my leg, his face straight. "Take your hand away now and you'll leave with it intact," He managed to keep a straight face as he inched it further. "Last warning lovely," I stated waiting for him to retract his hand that was getting ever closer to my crotch. I move quickly and grabbed the knife from Half-Sack's belt before slamming it between my crossed legs and between Tig's fingers. He halted his hand and whipped it out quickly staring at me with wide eyes. "I _did_ warn you," I stated taking the knife out of the table and running it along Tig's jaw lightly but not hard enough to draw blood. "Next time I _won't_ miss"

Tig nodded rapidly watching as I gave the knife back to Half-Sack.

"Taru?"

I glanced to Chibs and nodded lightly as I swirled my finger around the edge of my empty bottle. "What's up?"

"Know how ta play pool?" I nodded lightly confused at where he was going before he nodded towards the door leading inside. "Pool table inside, show me what ya got"

I chuckled softly before nodding and glancing towards Tig. "Him too?" I asked glancing back to Chibs who nodded and stood.

* * *

I leant over the pool table with my cue and lined up my shot, both Tig and Chibs behind me. I glanced back and shook my head lightly seeing both men staring at my ass before I took my shot and sunk one of the solid balls before moving round the table to take another shot. I stood up after failing my shot and nodded towards Chibs signalling it was his move, I couldn't help but watch his ass as he leant over the table and took his shot. _That is one nice ass._ I bit my lower lip and gave a soft impish grin as I came to stand next to Juice who had decided to make up the second on my side.

"Want another drink?"

I glanced to Juice and nodded. "Anything except vodka will do"

He gave a nod handing me the pool cue before heading towards the bar grabbing some glasses.

I watched Chibs lean over the table again, his eyes looking into mine as he took his shot. I could help but grin as his shot missed. "Perhaps you should keep your eyes on the table kulta"

He glared lightly before standing up and taking a glass from Juice. "Don't make me bend ya over this table and spank ya"

I couldn't suppress the grin that slipped to my lips. "Wouldn't be the first time" I stated taking a glass from Juice before taking a drink.

"Oh aye, ya've been bent over a pool table before have ya?"

I threw him a sly smile. "Wouldn't you like to know"

"That I would darlin', so spill"

"Perhaps another time" I stated focusing my eyes on Juice as he attempted to line up his shot while Tig was poking his ribs with the tip of his cue making him twitch and jump slightly.

"No, come on now, ya said it so ya have ta tell me"

"Alright," I grinned softly. "I'll tell you _after_ I whip your ass at pool"

He chuckled softly before giving a nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bare in mind I used a translator for these translations because my Finnish sucks ass.
> 
> Jeesus vittu Kristus! Arvioida we heittää aiemmin te humauttaa minun johtaa model after jokin = Jesus fucking Christ! Put me down before you hit my head on something!
> 
> Kiitos = Thank you


	6. Mind Fuck

**Mind Fuck**

=Taru's P.O.V=

My back hit the door, mind foggy from drinking. _What am I doing? Why am I here?_ I cast my eyes skywards as lips attack my collar bone leaving the skin tingling in their wake. _That's right, drinking game between Half-Sack, Juice, Tig, Chibs and I. Who the hell won? I don't even fucking remem..._ All coherent thoughts flew from my mind as I moaned shamelessly, that same set of lips was pressed against the skin just behind my left ear lobe. How on earth he'd managed to find the one weak spot on my body so quickly was beyond me.

Hands roughly groped at the bare skin of my shoulders as my plaid shirt was pushed away, it slid down my shoulders to catch at my elbows restricting my movements. Calloused fingertips ran along my jaw bringing my eyes to foggy hazel ones, we were both completely wasted. The distant thud of music reminded me that just down the hall in the main room of the clubhouse there were several others probably doing, or about to do, the same thing we were doing.

I shrugged the shirt off letting it crumple to the floor in front of the door before gripping the black leather kutte and pushing it off as I pushed the drunken Scotsman back towards the bed. The kutte fell to the floor; his hands came back to my waist slamming out hips together in a delicious shot of pain as he ground his hard-on into me. I moaned lowly pressing my lips to his again in a bruising kiss before we broke apart. I lifted my arms; Chibs flung the black tank top to the room off to the side before his own shirt followed suit. He grunted softly tripping on the edge of the bed and landing heavily on his back on the bed, I kept him still before crawling over the top of him, his fingers pressed against my hips as I worked on his belt tugging at it in frustration before finally opening it.

Fingers slowly worked up to my bra as I worked on my own belt and jeans before finally throwing them off leaving them in a mess somewhere behind us, my bra following soon afterwards.

"Mary mother of Christ," He breathed out lowly tracing a circle around my belly button before running it up between my breasts. "Ya gorgeous" His finger ran along my lips tugging lightly at the small nick of a scar along my bottom lip to the right side.

I shushed him with a kiss carefully snaking my hand between us before slowing trailing it down his chest and torso to his crotch. He grunted softly tipping his head back with a moan as I wrapped my hand around him and tugging lightly before giving him a few light strokes.

Our moans mixed as I sunk onto him, hands on my waist keeping me still for a moment before releasing the pressure allowing me to rock my hips with a soft groan. He jerked his hips up tipping me forward slightly forcing me to put my hands out to stop myself to falling.

A lop sided grin swept over his lips as he pulled me closer, my breasts to his face as he pressed his fingers against my back tugging my chest close enough for his lips to circle around one hardened nipple. I bit back a moan as he sucked and scraped his teeth lightly over it, I pulled back sinking onto him again before raking my nails down his chest lightly moaning lowly as he pulled me closer and rolled quickly to the side.

Heat slowly swept up my body, my release close as I wrapped a hand through the covers on his bed and clenched them. My moans getting progressively louder as he set a fast pace moving within me.

"Cum for me darlin'"

I moaned loudly at the request before biting back a scream as teeth sunk into the flesh on the crook of my neck, I clawed at Chibs' back finally letting out the scream of pleasure as he pulled away, a cocky smirk on his lips as he kissed the wound gently. I shifted lightly dragging him closer. "I'm gonna cum," I moaned lowly against the shell of his ear. "Do you want me to cum?" I asked digging my nails into his shoulders as white heat spread over my body.

A grunt was his response as he stilled briefly and followed me over the edge leaving us free falling through the pleasure of our releases.

I released my grip on him allowing him to roll to the side with a pained grunt. A heavy sheen of sweat coating our bodies before he tugged me up onto the bed properly yanking the top cover over us. "Get some sleep love" He murmured, an arm wrapped tightly around my waist keeping me pressed tightly against him warm sweat soaked body.

* * *

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I woke with a soft grunt, a warm body pressed against mine. I turned to move and groaned softly, head pounding like a jack hammer causing me to still. _I really shouldn't listen to Tig when he says he wants to play a drinking game with the Prospect._ I looked to the body next to mine expecting to find one of the sweetbutt's, my breathing hitched in my throat at the sight of Taru, eyes shut safely behind her eyelids, warm naked body pressed to mine.

"Please stop moving kulta, I ache" She stated almost making me shit myself as she finally flicked her eyes open.

"Sorry darlin', I just didn't expect _you_ ta be here"

"Don't remember last night then?" She asked, a cocky smirk winding it's way up onto her lips for a brief second.

I thought back through the night before a choppy fragment of a memory reached my forethought's, her naked body moving on top of me. _That's right; we got down and dirty after that bloody game._ "I do now" I stated before pushing back the covers grinning at the sight of her body. I took in the tattoos across her back, her left shoulder blade taken up by two horses, a mare and foal, one elder with grey fire spilling from her eyes, the younger with green fire spilling forth from its eye sockets. A patch of her right shoulder blade taken up by black inked words. ' _The Storm is brewing, the Legend is reborn, the Myth is retold all across the Hills, listen to it whisper.'_ Underneath those words was ' _Myrsky Taru_ _Mäki'_ and underneath that was _'May 13_ _th_ _1976'_. I moved my eyes lower to the charging bull that took up her lower back.

She shifted obscuring my view but giving me a good view of her tits. "Stop staring" She stated before yanking the cover back down and sat up, her spine clicking as she straightened up.

"Bathrooms through there" I nodded towards the open door to my left before watching her ass as she bent down to gather her things.

"Not going to join me for a shower?" She asked with a sly grin before letting the blanket drop and sauntered towards the bathroom.

I looked after her and grinned. _If it was anything like last night god help me because she'll end up with a matching bite mark somewhere else._ I stood quickly and made my way after her before slipping into the shower with her.

* * *

=Taru's P.O.V=

I grabbed my cell and checked the time quickly; I had plenty of time to get to the stables. I'd planned on spending time with Duke today, perhaps head for a hack through the forest area that the stables backed onto.

"Good night then?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Gemma who was making a cup of coffee. "Guess so"

She smirked lightly before reaching out and pushing my chin to the side to take a look at my neck. "That's a possessive bite" She stated letting her fingers drop from my chin.

I rubbed idly at it and shrugged lightly before pulling out a cigarette and placed it between my lips before pouring a cup of coffee.

"Today your day off is it?"

I nodded as we walked outside to the picnic table and settled down before lighting up. "Going for a hack with Duke through the forest, spent some time with the old boy"

"Duke?"

I nodded. "My first horse, he was a five year old when I got him, I was ten"

"How old is he?"

"Twenty seven, he's been everywhere with me"

"Can't sell him?"

I shook my head. "My three are with me for the rest of their lives, I don't have the heart to sell them, Duke was my first horse, Jess was is the cruisest mare I could ask for and Dev's pulled me through one of the toughest times in my life, I could _never_ give them up"

Gemma watched me for a minute; she seemed to contemplate something before taking a sip of her coffee. "You're a strange one Finland, I'll give you that"

I chuckled softly and nodded in agreement. "My strangeness is what saves my ass half the time, people just aren't on the same level as I am but in saying that, Tig _could_ be on the same level of strangeness as me"

"Oh I don't think _anyone_ could be on the same level of strange when it comes to Tig, he's a whole _other_ ball game"

I nodded lightly before taking a sip from my drink and tipped the ash from my cigarette into the ashtray. "You're generally distrustful of people aren't you?" I asked idly before glancing over at her slightly stunned face.

"Excuse me?"

"Last night, when you met me you didn't trust me, I'm sensing you probably still don't and I don't blame you, I don't trust people easily either"

"You seem to trust the boys pretty well"

I shook my head. "I don't think it's _possible_ for me to fully trust _anyone_ ," I looked into the dark liquid of my drink. "Hell I don't think I trust _myself_ anymore"

"And why's that?"

"Too much shit has gone down in my life," I rubbed idly at the scars along my inner forearm. "It's always left me feeling like it's my fault," I glanced to Gemma. "If you don't like me speak up now and I won't come back here, I'll leave Chibs and the rest of your boys alone"

She raised an eyebrow before shaking her head lightly. "I like you well enough, you're strong enough to stand up for yourself and you're sure as hell not scared of Tig," She chuckled lightly. "Almost _everyone_ is scared of his crazy"

I couldn't suppress the smile as I drained my mug. "In my book _crazy_ is good, when you've got a crazy guy like Tig on your side you've always got the winning team"

She stared at me for a second before we both broke out into laughter. "I definitely underestimated you"

I glanced to my phone and stood from the picnic table. "I should get going"

"Taru," I stalled at Gemma tone and nodded lightly, she paused slightly before shaking her head. "Never mind"

I furrowed my brow and gave a nod before heading inside to say goodbye to Chibs.


	7. Warehouses, Guns and Explosives

**Warehouses, Guns and Explosives**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I pulled off my helmet and left it draped over a handlebar on my Harley before looking towards the house, the curtains were drawn keeping the dying rays of sunlight out. _Should I really be here? Should I really be doing this?_ I stayed on my Harley for a moment watching the house. it was a good medium sized house of brick and tile with a large one car carport and garage to the left side and a gate wedged between the edge of the garage and the fence leading to the backyard. _Yes, yes you should be here._ My mind was screaming at me. _Am I sure? I could just find a god damn sweetbutt like I did before._ I rubbed my palms down my jeans, they were clammy, I was nervous. _The last sweetbutt you took to bed couldn't satisfy you like she did, you sent that damn whore away in a fit of unsatisfied anger._ I lowered my head slightly, it was all true, I'd tried hours before to find the right sweetbutt and when I had we'd gotten to the point of stripping down before my mind had screamed at me that this was all wrong, this wasn't the person I wanted to sink into again and I'd sent her away in a furious fit of anger after having her, the unsatisfied feeling still lurking in my mind.

I slid off my Harley and made my way to the front door before knocking and leaning against the door frame. It was only moments later before the door opened to reveal Taru.

"I was wondering when you were going to look me up again," She stated before pushing the door open wider and turning back to the living room. "Shoes off if you're coming in" She motioned towards the tiles before collapsing back onto the couch, a sketch book on the cluttered coffee table and a freshly opened bottle of beer near it.

I glanced to the TV and raised an eyebrow lightly, the screen filled with a person being pulled apart by a truck. "Watchin' people get dismembered aye?" I asked as I kicked my boots off and shut the door.

"What can I say?" She shrugged lightly. "It's the Hitcher," She grinned slightly. "And Sean Bean is one sexy assed bastard," she stated before standing and jogging down the short hall to the kitchen before coming back, a bottle in her hands. "Here"

I took a seat next to her and stole the sketch book before she could pick it up and hide it from my view. "What've ya been sketchin'?"

"Nothing much"

I glanced up to see a light dust of pink tinting her cheeks before she unpaused the movie turning her attention back to it as she lay back and stretched out over the couch putting her legs over the tops of my thighs.

I watched Taru out the corner of my eye, she didn't seem phased but any of the gruesome factor in the movie, she actually seemed to enjoy it. _I sure know how to pick the crazy ones._

* * *

"So what's the story with ya stally?" I tipped the top of my bottle towards a photo on the wall of her and Dev.

The Finn looked up from her beer. "Dev?" I nodded. "I bought him for five hundred euro's out of a back paddock in the middle of nowhere in Vallila as a six month old weanling and turned him into the shining star of the track you see today" She stated with a light shrug as she turned the TV off as the credits began to roll.

"What about ya other two?"

"Jess was ten thousand from a stud in Galway; I bought her as a two year old with so many bad habits it was like trying to put out an oil fire with water," She chuckled softly. "And Duke was a tenth birthday present," She smiled. "He was five years old, black as the night and stood in the kitchen when I woke up. My pappa decided it would be a good idea to surprise me," A genuine smile slipped to her lips as she shifted and placed her empty bottle on the table before standing and motioning to the boxes. "Wanna give me a hand? I was in the middle of unpacking it all when I found my box of DVD's"

I gave a light nod as she settled on the floor on the other side of the coffee table before opening a box. I settled down beside her as she pulled out a few dusty books and moved to put them on the bookshelf next to the wall. I reached into the box and pulled out a large dark red leather bound book _'Photo Album'_ pressed into the front in faded gold. I glanced up to find her back to me before opening it. The first photo was of a very young Taru astride a small white pony holding a ribbon in her hands with an ecstatic smile on her lips; several others on the page were of her and the same pony, different scenes, some in an arena, some at a showground.

I took a drink before flipping the page. This time a photo of a young Taru and an older man met my eyes. _Wonder if that's her old man?_

"That's my pappa," I jumped slightly at her voice as she settled on the floor next to me. "My grandfather," she clarified before reaching into the box again. "He raised me"

I looked up as she slid books across the floor to the bookshelf and continued to flip through the album until I came to what appeared to be teenage years. There were several of her and a bright platinum blonde with a darker tan as well as a few others of them drinking. I glanced up at her face and then back at the photos, none of them showed her with her facial scars. Both the one to her lips and the faint one across the middle of her left eye weren't present in any of the photos.

I flipped to another page; the first photo was of Taru with her arms wrapped around a guy's neck, a look of pure and utter love and devotion in her eyes. The cut to her lip present in this photo. I glanced up to Taru; she was too busy with the next box to be looking at me. _She must have really loved this guy._ I flicked my eyes over another photo, this time she was in a bikini relaxing by the poolside reading, one leg cocked up, sunglasses shading her eyes, her lips in a smile at the person holding the camera. "How old were ya here?"

Taru finally looked over and glanced to the photo before grinning. "Eighteen, I'd just finished a stint in boot camp and was soaking up my freedom"

I glanced up with a raised eyebrow. "Dare I ask what ya did?"

"Stole a couple of cars" She shrugged lightly.

 _She got that for stealing some cars?_ I furrowed my brow. "I'm guessing it wasn't a first offense"

She looked over her shoulder and shook her head. "I have a list of charges against my name a mile long, I was a hell raiser as a youngster"

I flipped the page and leant back on my elbow finishing off my drink before running my eyes over a wedding photo, her and the man she'd been with in the photo on the previous pages. "Ya were married" It was more of a statement than a question. I looked up when I didn't receive and answer; she was either ignoring my words or hadn't heard me. I ran my fingers over a photo of a bright fire engine red Rocker that an older Taru was sat on, a cocky grin on her lips.

"Ya used ta ride a Harley?"

She finally looked up and nodded. "I told you didn't I?" She glanced towards the photo in question. "I totaled that beauty in a ditch after some asshole cut me off and ran me off the road"

I nodded before sliding the book across the floor; I wanted an answer to the next photo, the photo of her with a young baby in her arms and that same man from the wedding photo with his arms around her waist. "Who're they?" I tapped the photo and watched as she slowly picked up the book, she took in the photo, that same look of sorrow in her eyes as she ran a finger over the photo.

"Niko and Kai," She said softly before closing the book over, she closed her eyes briefly before swallowing a lump in her throat. "My husband and my son"

I stalled slightly, I wanted to kiss away the pain in her eyes, I knew I would have to pick my words carefully. "Where are they now?"

"Helsinki" Something in her tone said there was more to it like the distinct possibility that neither were breathing anymore.

"How old was ya boy?"

"Seven" Her voice broke slightly before she stood and quickly made her way to the kitchen.

I stood quickly and followed her to find her leaning over the sink taking calming breaths. "I shouldn't have asked," I lowered my voice as I placed a hand carefully on her lower back. "I'm sorry"

She shook her head lightly. "Never apologize for that which you can't control" She mumbled softly before turning to the fridge to get a drink, she handed me a bottle before collapsing into one of the chairs at the small wooden dining table.

A rumble ripped through the air followed by a loud bang. _That sure as hell didn't sound like thunder._ I glanced to Taru who had gotten up and was already on the back porch.

"What in hells name was that?" She asked as stood on the porch looking in Lodi's direction. The plume of fire and smoke rising high in the air.

"No idea love, maybe one of the factories caught fire" I glanced in the direction and had a sinking feeling it wasn't a factory but a shack, the shack were we stored our guns.

"Must have" She stated idly before leaning against me.

I glanced down to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders before leaning in to kiss her, I hadn't expected her to accept it so willingly but she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pappa: Grandfather


	8. Reminisce

**Reminisce**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I woke to arms wrapped around my waist and turned to see Chibs fast asleep behind me. I smiled lightly and brushed his hair back from his face before carefully unfolding his arms from my waist. The night had past in a blur after that explosion, one thing had led to another and we'd wound up on the bed, this time sober and fully aware of what we were doing.

I checked the time and sighed softly before wrapping a dressing gown around my body. I set up a new pot of coffee and headed for the shower before stripping and stepping into the hot spray.

I rubbed at the ache in my neck before bracing my palms against the wall and leant into them. _Is this truly what I want to be doing? Yes._ I looked up and let the water hit my face before slowly rubbing it into my skin. _Last night... that was a need to forget._ I sighed softly standing under the spray. _Was it? Was it truly in the need to_ _ **forget**_ _? Or was it simply because you're_ _ **ready**_ _to move on from Niko?_ I jumped slightly; my mind was beginning to scare me. _Yes, it was the need to forget and nothing else,_ _ **no one**_ _could replace Niko._ My mental debate was going to take its toll if I allowed it to continue. _Don't be so sure Myrsky, Chibs is a nice enough guy, perhaps it's time to open yourself up._ I ran my fingers over the tattoo around my right wrist, a band of card suits with barbed wire on either side before chuckling softly. _I'm fucking a guy and I don't even know his real name._ I rubbed gel into my skin watching it foam for a moment. _That goes both ways, he doesn't know your given name either._ I washed my skin clear and sighed softly. _My first name is hard enough to pronounce, better to just stick to my second instead._ I laughed inwardly at my pitiful excuse and washed off quickly before turning the shower off and stepping out.

I wrapped a towel around me and headed towards the kitchen before pouring out two cups of coffee. I headed back to the bedroom and placed mine of the side table before nudging Chibs. "Wakey, wakey," I rolled my eyes as he grunt lightly. "Don't make me slap your ass with a riding crop" I stated before he cracked open an eye glaring lightly at me.

"Ya interrupted a rather nice dream love"

I grinned slightly and winked. "You'll get over it, I have work"

He yawned and rolled onto his back accepting the mug I handed to him. "Want me ta drop ya off?"

I stalled slightly as I sifted through my clothing. _Do I dare?_ "Sure" I couldn't stop myself from answering; my mind froze leaving me staring at my wardrobe blankly for a moment. _I am going to end up going insane if I keep second guessing myself._ I pulled out a red polo shirt and a black pair of skinny jeans with ripped knees before turning to the bed and throwing my things down trying to find a bra and underwear.

* * *

"I'll see ya later" I nodded sliding off the back of Chibs' Harley before handing him the helmet.

"See you later" I pressed a kiss to his lips after he put the helmet on.

I watched him leave and turned towards the stable block where the morning's gallopers were ready and waiting to be exercised around the track.

"Taru? Did I just see right? You got off the back of a Harley?"

I glanced to Maria; she was a nosey little fuck, the stables source of every bit of gossip, true or untrue, it vomited forth from her mouth. "And what of it Maria?" I asked tiredly knowing this was fuel for her.

"Did you just kiss him?" She was grinning ear to ear as I moved past her to start tacking up Lucky Strike.

"And if I did?"

"Who was it? Jax Teller? Or was it that hunky Latino? What's his name? Juice?" Her mouth was running a mile a minute.

I slowly tried to tune her out before a squeal of nervousness brought me back to her as did a hoof slammed down on top of my foot. I let out a string of heated Finnish curses and turned to glare at Maria. "Get back to work _now!_ " I spat at the short stocky frizzy haired brunette who went wide eyed and nodded leaving me quickly with the large Chestnut colt. "Jesus fucking Christ Lucky, a little more to the left and you would have crushed my toes" I stated as I tightened his girth.

Lucky lowered his head into the bridle as I held it up, velvet lips brushed over my hand as he took the bit and waited for me to slip the headpiece over his ears before buckling it up. "Marcis, Lucky's ready for the track"

"Great, I'll get to him in a minute," The lanky 6ft stable lad stated before clipping Disasters Poem in her stall. "You alright? I heard you yelling at Maria"

"Fine, she spooked Lucky with that god awful high pitched squeal of hers"

He chuckled softly before patting my shoulder as I held Lucky still for him. "So I guess the rumours she's spilling are true then, you're an old lady to one of the Sons"

I looked up at him for a second as he adjusted his stirrups and blinked rapidly trying to process what he'd said before it finally kicked it. " _Perkele_ , am I not allow a personal life with Maria around?"

"No one is Taru, not even you"

I sighed softly. "Well let's set the record straight; I'm _not_ an _old lady,_ as you so eloquently put it, and while we're at it, I need a lift back in the truck" I stated with a sheepish grin before releasing Lucky's reins as Marcis tugged him round towards the track entrance.

"Alright, means I can boot Maria out of the cab" He grinned lightly before letting the Chestnut have his head.

* * *

I stepped down from the cab of the truck and dusted my hands down my thighs before spinning around at the sound of my name being called. "Charger not running this morning?"

"Charger's fine, friend of mine dropped me off this morning"

Elliot nodded and motioned for me to walk with him. "I need to head out today, pick up a new filly, mind doing some paper work for me? Mostly breeding contracts for that new bay Quarter-horse stallion"

"Sure thing, I'll get onto it after I groom Duke"

He nodded leaving me to get my grooming kit from my truck.

I headed towards Duke's paddock and looked at both him and Dev grazing side by side. Dev was a massive 18hh where as Duke was pushing 16hh. I whistled and watched both horses bring their heads up before a gleeful snort answered my whistle along with the thundering of hooves. "I'll get onto you in a minute Dev" I stated unclipping his light rug and threw it over the fence to air out before I unclipped Duke's rug and threw it next to Dev's.

I ran a hand over Duke's forehead and pressed a kiss to the thin white stripe down his face. He snorted softly and picked up a brush dropping it my hands. I chuckled softly patting his neck before starting to groom him.

_I looked around and smiled lightly, sun shining across the top of the mountain, the air was thin up here but the hike had been worth it. I glanced to Niko and poked my tongue out at him as he came up breathlessly behind me._

" _Still don't think it was worth it?" I asked motioning to the sight surrounding us, the night time lights of the town below, a blanket of dark sky glittering with gold stars above us._

_He chuckled softly. "It was definitely worth it just to see you smile" He stated wrapping an arm around my shoulders, his free hand tucked into his pocket playing with something._

I ran the brush over Duke's shoulders slowly and smiled sadly at the dull ache in my chest.

" _Niko?"_

_He looked up from the fender he was busy buffing and smiled slightly. "Hey ihana, what're you doing here?"_

" _I need to talk with you?"_

_He furrowed his brow before nodding at my serious tone and motioned outside._

" _What's up?"_

_I took his hands and looked into his eyes before placing them on my belly. His eyes went wildly between mine and his hands on my belly._

" _Are you sure?"_

_I nodded before he shrugged off my hands and wrapped his arms around me hauling me up in a spinning hug. I laughed softly and pressed a kiss to his lips as he let me down. "I'm eight weeks along"_

_He grinned softly before dragging me back into the workshop. The others had been watching and waiting expecting him to come back broken hearted. "Guess who's going to be a father?" He announced before grinning ear to ear, an arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder._

I stopped brushing for a second and placed a hand to my torso before sighing softly and beginning to brush again.

" _What's your name?"_

_I looked up to see a blonde standing before me, a friendly smile on her lips. "Myrsky"_

_She crinkled her nose and tried to copy the name. "I'm Angel"_

_I smiled briefly. "Call me Taru"_

_She giggled softly and nodded. "Ok, Taru" She drew out my name as she took a seat beside me on the swings._

" _I'm from California, where are you from?"_

" _Lapland"_

" _So you're Finnish?"_

_I nodded and looked up towards my father who was talking with a couple. "Are those your mummy and daddy?"_

_She nodded. "Is that your daddy?"_

_I nodded watching the three adults talk._

I smiled softly running the brush along Duke's relaxed back, he snoozed silently, head and tail drooped low. _I should really go and see Angel again, see my gorgeous little niece._ Duke snorted and flicked his tail idly at the fly before closing his eyes again.

_I cradled the small bundle in my arms and looked down at the baby before smiling._ How did we manage to make something so perfect? _I couldn't help but smile before Niko slipped into the room._

" _Hey, how're my gorgeous, sexy wife and my stunning little boy doing?"_

" _We're fine Niko, tired but fine"_

_He grinned lightly and settled on the edge of the bed. I looked up at him and felt a smile tug at my lips again, my life couldn't have gotten much more perfect than it had already._

I felt a sense of loneliness and abandonment sweep over me before anger flared up my veins. I stalled in my brushing and looked skywards before letting out a low sigh. _I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, either of you._ A tear breeched my eyes and within seconds I was on the grass in tears, my breathing choppy and jagged as I tried to breathe and control my tears to no avail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perkele: God damn it
> 
> Ihana: Beautiful


	9. Club Business and Breeding Contracts

**Club Business and Breeding Contracts**

=Taru's P.O.V=

It had been hours since my emotional breakdown in Dev and Duke's paddock. I'd managed to pick myself up off the ground and finish grooming before locking myself away in Elliot's office to go over the breeding contracts.

My phone was sitting on the desk blaring music at me that I barely heard until it cut out. I looked at it expecting the battery to be flat and waited as it picked up another tone, an incoming call tone. I sighed lowly picking it up and clicked ok before pressing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey darlin'"

"If you're calling me it can't be good" I stated idly running my eyes over the contract in front of me.

"It's not, I won't be able ta pick ya up after work"

"Do I even want to know?"

"Club business" He stated.

I put the contract down and thought about pressing the matter before deciding I was really just too tired to care right now. "Alright"

"I'll send the prospect round, he can give ya a lift home"

"No need, I'll catch a lift with Elliot or Marcis" I stated before putting the contract to one side and picked up another.

"Ya sure?"

"I'll be fine kulta, don't worry so much would you"

"I just don't want anythin' ta happen ta ya"

I rolled my eyes lightly and bit my tongue form saying something sarcastic. _Bit too late for that, I put_ _ **myself**_ _through hell and back already today._ "Have a little faith would you, I'm not ten years old anymore, I _can,_ believe it or not, take care of myself without the aid of a male, I've been doing a cracking job of it for the past seven years" I winced as I bit my tongue hard realizing how sarcastic and snappy that had come out.

"Somethin' the matter?"

"No," I snapped lightly as I ran a hand up through my hair and sighed deeply. "Just been a bloody long and fucked up morning" I muttered softly placing the contract to the side with the others.

"Alrigh' take care love"

"Be careful kulta"

He chuckled softly. "Always am"

I hung up before tiredly glancing at the contracts before me and quickly flicked through the last pile of contacts before hitting call on Elliot's number.

"Taru? Is there a problem?"

"No, no problem, just wondering if you were coming back to the stables this afternoon?"

"I should be back there around two, why?"

"Would you be able to give me a lift home?"

"Friend bail out on you did they?"

I smiled weakly. "In a way"

"Sure thing, I'll see you when I get back to the stables"

"Great, thank you Elliot"

I could hear him smile before he hung up. I placed the phone back on the table and hit play on my music before going back to the breeding contracts.

* * *

"Ready to go?"

I looked up and blinked rapidly, I'd managed to fall asleep at the desk. "Sure," I bit back a yawn and stood stretching before gathering my things and heading towards the door, my body stiff and sore from sleeping bent over the desk. "Pile on the left look good, pile on the right not so much" I stated motioning to the desk as I rubbed the side of my face that had gone numb.

"Great, thanks for that"

I nodded and rubbed at the kink in my neck. _Note to self. Hit the couch as soon as I stumble my sorry ass through the door._ I glanced back to Elliot as he locked up the office and turned my attention to the dark blue Benz in the spot outside the door. _God damn rich people and their money._ I jumped slightly as a hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded and rubbed my eyes. "Just been a _very_ long day"

He nodded and unlocked the car. I slipped into the passenger's seat and pulled the door shut before buckling my belt.

"I wanted to ask you something," Elliot started as he pulled out onto the road. "Are you going to breed Devlin this season?"

I nodded. "I'd given it some thought, he retires this season win or lose; he's getting too old to race around the tracks now"

"Would you consider a breeding contract for some of my mares?"

I mulled it over for a moment before nodding. "Depends on which ones"

"Tiger Lilly, Jungle Princess, Cookie Cutter Dreams, Three Strike and Lush Valley Queen"

I racked my brains for which mares they were before nodding. "We'll working something out later on when I've actually made up my mind properly and _after_ he has his time with Jess"

"Your Irish mare?"

I nodded. "I want a baby from her," I shrugged lightly. "And a colt that has Dev's looks, speed and scope and Jess' movements would be stunning stallion material"

"Alright, after you're done with Jess, how much am I looking at for each mare?"

"Depends on how he goes out, on a win or a loss"

"Say he goes out on a win then"

"Six thousand per mare plus an LFG"

"And a loss?"

"Two five plus an LFG"

He gave a nod. "After he finishes racing what're you going to do? Train up some others or focus on shows?"

I shrugged lightly. "I hadn't thought that far ahead yet, I like to live one day at a time"

He gave a soft chuckle before nodded. "Sounds like a good plan, I wish I could do that some days"

"Take a few days off then, take your family and go on vacation"

He laughed softly. "Vacation, I don't think that's part of my vocabulary anymore"

I couldn't help but laugh softly. "I know the feeling"

"Are you getting by alright?"

I glanced over at Elliot, a genuine look of concern on his face. "Fine, why?"

"I just wanted to make sure, you're a hard worker Taru, I don't want you to struggle here"

I nodded slowly turning my eyes back to the window as we pulled into my driveway. "Thanks for the lift"

Elliot nodded. "I'll see you in the morning"

I gave a nod shutting the door before heading to the front door. I watched him leave before entering the house and shutting the door. I turned and clicked all three locks into place before hitting the couch to get some sleep.

_I whimpered softly, Niko was unbelievably good at causing me pleasure to the point it hurt. Another whimper escape the back of my throat, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing just what he was doing to me. Just how much it was tearing me up inside as he moved ever so slowly across my body with his lips._

_He brushed his lips over the swell of my belly; he loved paying attention to me and the large swollen area that housed the beginning of the newest chapter of our lives together. His fingers tickled softly over the pale skin as he let his fingers ghost lower._

_I let out a louder whimper as he ghosted his fingers over the mound between my legs, the callous on the tips of his fingers brushed ever so lightly over the soft nub of flesh causing me to cry out._

_He sat there with a satisfied smirk adorning his oh so kissable lips._

" _You are so going to pay for this later" His grin matched my own as he pressed a light kiss to my belly before rubbing it softly with his hands._

" _Be nice to your äiti tonight, she needs her rest"_

" _Exactly so let me get some sleep," I stated giving him a grin which he returned with the 'you just kicked my puppy' face. "Oh no, I'm not giving in to that again"_

" _Come on Myrsky, just sit there and relax," He grinned softly. "I'll do all the work"_

_I let out a low breath I didn't realize I'd been holding and nodded giving him the go ahead._

I woke with a start and sat up before it registered in my brain where I was. I blinked rapidly in the darkness of my living room before slowly standing and making my way towards the kitchen to get something to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> äiti = mum


	10. Blood, Gun oil and Smoke

**Blood, Gun oil and Smoke**

=Taru's P.O.V=

_I looked to Tuomas and grinned lightly, the 5ft11 shaggy brunette bartender slid a glass my way with a flattering smile. "Try not to get into any fights tonight"_

" _I'll try not to lovely"_

_He gave a nod before going to other end of the bar to serve several others. I felt a push from behind and growled lowly before putting my drink down on the counter and shook my hand clean of the split liquid._

_"Katso se kusipää" I spat at the guy who had rammed into me. His buddies behind him were laughing and joking, obviously drunk and getting rowdier by the moment._

" _Well hello beautiful"_

_I rolled my eyes before turning back to my drink._ This is going to end badly _._

" _Hey! My brother's talking to you"_

_A hand landed on my shoulder earning a low growl. "Get your hand off me" I snarled lowly placing the half empty drink back on the table._

" _Oh! So you're a feisty one are you?"_

_I turned as I stood. "You wouldn't know feisty if it hit you in the face" I stated before pushing through them to go to the bathroom and clean up._

_I stumbled slightly as a set of hands pressed against my back forcing me forwards._ Oh you did **not** just push me. _I turned back, all three of them were drunk, it was evident in their eyes. "Do you really want to start something? Because I'm more than willing to take you out" I stated slowly letting it sink in to their alcohol fogged minds._

" _Bitch thinks she's tough"_

" _Bitch_ _ **knows**_ _she's tough" I countered with a light grin. I was digging myself a grave but I was willing to lie in it without question._

" _So you think you're tough do you? Why don't we find out then?"_

" _Gladly" I stated. A dangerous edge in my tone as I jerked my head towards the back doors.  
_

_The first hit lanced off my shoulder spinning me slightly and earning a soft hiss of pain. I countered his next hit with my forearm stopping him and rammed my free fist into his exposed gut. I stumbled back a step as a he moved quickly launching a fist into my face. "Vitun äpärä" I managed to spit out cupping my nose as it dripped blood down my lips and chin. I swung out barely missing his chin, the hit glanced off him but it was still strong enough to daze him briefly allowing me enough time to send a kick into his hip._ Jesus fucking Christ that hurt _. _I tested my weight on my foot and winced slightly before he picked himself up and rushed at me, I blocked his hit and missed the uppercut he threw, his ring gouging a hefty chunk out of my lower lip leaving hot blood rolling down my chin.__

_His laughter brought my attention back to him, his friends were laughing with him. "Think that's funny huh?" I snarled before rushing at him and tackling him around the middle taking him down with a heavy thud. His head connecting heavily with the tarmac of the car park as he landed._

_I picked myself up quickly, the growl of an engine just audible over the chants of 'Fight, fight, fight'._

" _Hey!" I failed to block the next hit and took it to the eye socket stumbling back cursing every god under the sun as I tripped and landed on my backside before looking at the stranger who had decided to intervene. "Didn't your mother teach you manners? It's not nice to pick on ladies"_

_I snorted lightly, mucus and blood dripping from my bloodied nose._ Lady? I'm no lady. _I picked myself up. I didn't mind this random, albeit handsome, stranger fighting for me but this was_ _ **my**_ _fight, not his._

_I took a second to regain my senses and jumped back into the fight pushing the stranger out of the way before tripping the guy and laying into his face._

_I rolled sideways off his chest and lay there for a moment panting, my chest heaving, heart hammering, adrenaline racing and knuckles and face bloody. I looked to the hand that was extended to me before slowly running my eyes up the guys arm to his face._ God damn those eyes... like emeralds catching the last rays of the sun. _I took his hand and felt him brace as I hauled my sorry ass up and grinned brokenly at him._

" _Are you alright?"_

_I nodded taking him in, he was decked in a black Bon Jovi shirt, oil stained ripped up baggy greying blue jeans with chains hanging from his belt, a black hoodie and black work boots. "You didn't have to jump into the fight too" I stated touching the blackening skin around his eye._

_He winced lightly and caught my wrist before shrugging. "It's not right to beat up a lady, 'specially one as gorgeous as you"_

_I felt my face flush and bit my broken lip slightly. "Let's see if you say that in a few days time when my bruises come up a lovely shade of black, blue and purple" I stated wiping the blood away from my nose and lip as I gave him a once over again, I wanted with all my being to drag him off to a dark secluded corner and have my dirty filthy way with him._

" _Why don't we get you cleaned up huh?"_

_I nodded motioning to the bar. "Tuomas has a medical kit"_

_He nodded shrugging off his hoodie and put it around my shoulders before steering me inside._

_I winced as he worked on cleaning the drying blood off my face and gave him a lopsided grin. "What would you say to blowing this joint after you finish playing doctor for me?"_

_He returned my question with his own lopsided grin. "How about we head to my place and play a more_ _**intimate** _ _version of doctors and nurses?"_

_I couldn't help the bright grin that swept over my lips as I nodded._

I woke with a start, vaguely aware of the noise coming from my kitchen. I froze as I came too fully and groped for the metal baseball bat under my bed before slowly and quietly climbing out of the bed. I took a shaky breath as I crept up the hall with the bat at the ready and turned into the kitchen, the shadowy silhouette of a person in the doorway trying to shut the sliding door. _I locked that, I'm sure I did._ I took a step forward before bracing myself and swinging low aiming to cripple at the very least. _Shit! How did he find me?_

A string of Gaelic curses met my ears as the intruder fell and I dropped the bat quickly letting the metal clatter to the floor before dropping to my knees and pushing back the person's hood. " _Perkele Chibs_!" I howled out before checking his knee quickly. "What the _hell_ are doing breaking into my fucking house!"

He clutched his leg rolling side to side trying to bite through the pain. "I thought I'd surprise ya" He managed to spit out as I rushed to the freezer and grabbed whatever was on hand before returning and shoving his hands out the way to place the bag of frozen carrots to his knee.

"First things first, I _hate_ surprises," I snapped hotly. " _Especially_ when they break into my house at three am in the goddamn morning"

He gave me a pained grin. "Well ya didn't answer the door, what else was I supposed ta do? Sit in the cold freezin' my balls off until ya woke up?"

I sighed softly and lowered my head chuckling. "You could have just rung my cell, that would have woken me up," I stated before helping him up. "Go lie down on the bed while I fish out some pain meds" I motioned to the hall before turning to the kitchen.

* * *

"Gonna play nurse for me now are ya?"

"In your dreams maybe" I countered handing him a glass of water and a white bottle of pills.

"You've got a damn good swing on ya love"

"I know," I sat on the edge of the bed checking his leg before looking up, a dark black angry bruise was already beginning to form. "It would be advisable to go to the hospital and get an X-ray, I _could_ have fractured something"

He shrugged lightly. "I'll be right love as long as ya takin' care of me" He threw me a half hearted grin.

I rolled my eyes lightly and chuckled softly shaking my head. "You fucking reek, you know that right?"

He sniffed his hoodie before grimacing. "I think a shower's in order"

I nodded to his suggestion and motioned for his clothing. "I'll throw your things in the washer" Choosing to ignore the fact that they smelt of smoke, blood, sweat and gun oil along with the odd dried droplet of blood.

"Thank ya Taru"

I looked up at him for a second from the black hoodie in my hands. "It's actually Myrsky"

He looked up surprised. "Myr what?"

I grinned lightly. "Myrsky, it's my first name, Taru is my second; it's just easier for people to pronounce my second name"

He gave a slight nod before handing me his shirts. "My names Filip"

"Filip..."I tested the name before nodding and heading towards the laundry to wash his things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tuomas = Thomas
> 
> Katso se kusipää = Watch it asshole
> 
> vitun äpärä = Fucking bastard
> 
> Perkele Chibs = God damn it Chibs


	11. Dead Bodies and Staged Crime Scenes

**Dead Bodies and Staged Crime Scenes**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I tested my weight on my leg after stepping off my Harley, it hurt like a bitch to put weight on but I was content knowing that Taru could take care of herself without my help. _I suppose I should be lucky she doesn't sleep with a gun._ I headed towards the clubhouse to grab my Teller-Morrow shirt and winced slightly realizing she may have done _more_ damage than I expected.

"What the hell happened to you?"

I looked up to see Tig, Piney and Clay at the bar counter. "That Finn has one hell of a swing on her"

"She hit you?"

I nodded. "Metal baseball bat ta the knee, probably wasn't my wisest choice ta break into her house"

They shared a look before bursting out laughing. "Do I even want to know?" Clay asked as he finished his bottle of beer.

I shook my head and limped towards my bedroom before slinging off my cut and grabbed a clean set of clothes before pulling my work shirt over the top. I glanced at the bruise covering the side of my knee before pulling my jeans up and zipped them quickly. _That was one_ _ **hell**_ _of a hit; I'm surprised I can even walk._

I put weight on it and made an attempt to walk properly before heading back out to the bar. The rest of the boys including Gemma were there now.

"Do I even want to ask what happened to you?"

"Crazy Finn with a baseball bat"

Gemma raised an eyebrow, lips quirked slightly in amusement. "Break into her house did you?"

I couldn't help but grin lightly and nod before following Jax, Juice, Half-Sack and the others out to the garage.

I paused working as the low rumble of Bobby's Harley pulled up outside the garage doors. "Got the good shit" He stated holding up a brown paper bag.

We followed him back to the clubhouse before settling down at the tables. The bag was emptied to the table, several homemade muffins spilling out onto its top. "There we go boys"

"These muffins are great with tequila Bobby" Piney stated taking a sip from his shot glass.

I picked one up breaking off a piece. _I wonder if Taru can cook like this? I mean she's got to have some sort of favourite dish from home._ "Shit's addictive, turnin' me into a fat bastard" I stated taking a sip from my bottle.

"Turbinado sugar, organic flour," Bobby listed of some ingredients. "No processed shit, not that any of you really give a damn" He stated placing several bottles on the table.

"You put hash in 'em?"

He turned to look at Jax. "You know my rule, no bud before nine am" He stated as he threw a piece at Jax who quickly threw a piece back at him.

"I don't have that rule"

I settled back against my seat to finish my muffin before looking up to Clay as he entered with a bag in his hands. "Morning kids, deal with the Niners has officially closed," He stated putting the bag on the table. "Spoke to Laroy and he is _giddy_ about his new assault rifles"

"We're all about racial harmony" I stated as he dropped an envelope in my hands.

"Spend it wisely boys. Might be a while before we see anymore gun green"

"I love the green," I stated flicking the the cash in the envelope. "All about the Benjamin's" I grinned softly before looking up to Juice as he walked in.

* * *

=Taru's P.O.V=

I swung up into the saddle and nudged Bianca towards the arena, the sun was creeping steadily higher into the sky as I hit play on my iPod leaving the sound of ' _I Wanna Be'_ by Adelitas Way to blare through the arena sound system.

_I wanna be the one who's catching all the luck_  
Sitting on a mountain of a million bucks  
It's time I get a taste of the Hollywood life  
Sleeping all day and getting drunk all night  
Can I be the one getting all the free shit  
Hanging out with Hef and got my house on cribs  
If I could have a chance to be living this way  
I will show you all that I'm not the same

I nudged Bianca into a trot; she picked up a slow lazy trot before I squeezed her sides a bit more urging her to pick up a proper working trot. She snorted and flexed her head lightly mouthing at her double bit as we stopped square, I saluted the mirror before us and nudged Bianca on back into a proper working trot.

_Famous for nothing,_   
_Your not above me_   
_Your going to end up coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_   
_Famous for nothing,_   
_A loser that got lucky_   
_Your going to end up coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_

I shifted in my saddle and nudged Bianca on urging her to pick up a collected canter before transitioning into a steady working canter. The dappled grey mare underneath me bunched her muscles as I asked for a shoulder in.

_I wanna be the one with hundreds in my hand_   
_Sitting right by the big strong man_   
_It's time I start seeing things go my way_   
_Sipping on some drag and a bottle of crank_   
_Can I be the one with thirty-two cars_   
_Sitting backstage with all the Rockstars_   
_I wanna be the one that told you so_   
_Middle finger up screaming fuck the world_

Bianca snorted, white foam dripping from her lips to the sand of the arena. I pulled her down to an extended walk before turning up the centre of the arena. I deepened my seat and adjusted my reins before nudging her for a Spanish walk. Hollywood Starlet, Bianca around the stables, was one of the best dressage horses I'd ever ridden; she was Grand Prix material, a 16.2hh 12 year old dapple grey Andalusian mare that listened to every minute command given no matter what it was.

_Famous for nothing,_   
_Your not above me_   
_Your going to end up coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_   
_Famous for nothing,_   
_A loser that got lucky_   
_Your going to end coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_

I let her have her head and watched as she lowered her head into a long and low outline, the muscles in the middle of my back cramping as I tried to straighten up. _God damn Chibs, I knew I shouldn't have joined him in the shower._ I shook my head lightly before nudging Bianca into a proper walk.

_Famous for shit_   
_Why don't you quit_   
_You got it all so why can't I_

_Famous for shit_  
Why don't you quit  
You got it all so why can't I

I shifted in my seat before nudging Bianca lightly. The mare snorted collecting herself until she was bunched tightly, her pace slow and prancing as she danced lightly on her feet. Her Piaffe was one of those that was worth dying for, she'd been trained professionally and it had really paid off.

_Famous for nothing,_   
_Your not above me_   
_Your going to end up coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_   
_Famous for nothing,_   
_A loser that got lucky_   
_Your going to end up coming down_   
_Coming down when you're done_

I slowed her to a trot before halting again and saluting the mirror. Clapping brought my head up to the edge of the arena where Elliot was stood with two other men. I gave a sheepish smile turning towards the arena gate letting Bianca have her head before reaching over to pause my music.

"Beautiful performance"

"Thank you"

"I'm Michael Davis; this is my business partner Guy Petersbrook"

"Taru Mäki" I stated shaking his extended hand after sliding down from Bianca's saddle.

"She's a lovely mare, yours?"

I shook my head to Guy, blue eyes bearing into my own, a chill ran up my spine, the look in his eyes was primal, like I was a thing to be possessed and owned. "I should really get back to work" I stated nodding to Bianca before quickly turning and tugging the mare after me towards the stables. I glanced back over my shoulder; he was stood there with the same look in his eyes watching me leave, the ink he was trying to cover with his shirt was unmistakably Aryan.

* * *

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I inched Darby's black Suburban forward slowly bit by bit before Jax yelled out. I grinned slightly opening the door and stood up. "Oh that sounded nasty" I stated giving Jax a winning grin.

He rushed around the side of the car and looked at the fat dead Mexican on the tarp on the floor. "Somebody call green peace, we're saving a Mexican whale"

I chuckled lightly bracing myself as we attempted to lift the dead weight into the car. I moved around to the other side and motioned to Half-Sack to start spraying the packs of blood around. I watched him for a moment before sighing. "Ya ain't icin' a cake prospect, it's a crime scene, let go" I hurried him along.

"I know, I know"

As soon as that was done and our bullets were fired through the windscreen we were out in the shitty little station wagon Juice had gone and jacked while we worked.


	12. Dinner Parties and Drinks

**Dinner Parties and Drinks**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

"Hey Chibs"

I turned to see Gemma and nodded slightly as I pulled my gloves on. "What is it?"

"We're having a family dinner tonight," she smirked slightly. "You should bring that crazy Finn of yours along"

I chuckled softly and nodded. "I'll go pick her up then"

"Good" She nodded and turned away back to the black Cadillac she drove before taking off out of the Teller-Morrow forecourt.

I pulled my helmet on and kicked up my bike stand before taking off in the direction of Taru's house.

* * *

I banged on the front door waiting for Taru to answer, when she finally did her landline was in her hand pressed to her ear, she smiled lightly and moved out of the way allowing me to come in. I motioned to the phone and she placed a finger to her lips shushing me before pushing the door shut.

"That's great Jade, I'm sure he's a real looker"

 _Jade?_ I furrowed my brow taking a seat on the couch before picking up the bottle of half finished beer. _Wonder who that is?_

Taru smiled brightly and laughed. "Well how about I make you a promise then? Next time I have a show you can come and enter Duke in a ridden class," She pulled the phone away briefly and winced slightly at the joyous scream on the other end. "Calm down youngster, I promise I'll come to Santa Monica and see you soon, give your mum a hug and kiss from me alright," A smile slipped to her lips. "Love you to Jade, take care of yourself" She clicked the phone off and settled on the couch taking the bottle from me.

"Who was that?"

She placed the empty bottle down and grinned lightly. "My niece"

"Niece?"

She nodded and settled back. "So to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Gemma's havin' a dinner, ya comin' as well"

She raised a thin eyebrow before smiling slightly. "Alright, give me a second to shower and get dressed"

I watched her stand and make her way to the bathroom, I hesitated in going after her, Gemma wanted us early, taking a shower would lead from one thing to another, as it usually did, and we'd end up late.

I settled back and picked up the sketching pad before flipping through it. The first was a simple black and white sketch of her three horses, the next one of her Charger. I flipped over to another page; my eyes landing on a quick rough sketch a Harley, the Anarchist A across the gas tank caused me to come to the conclusion that was in fact _my_ Harley. _She's a damn good artist._ I flipped to another page and stalled see the starting's and outlines of a black and white sketch of the club, each of the members outlined and light shading started over each figure.

I looked up as Taru came out, she was decked in a pair of tight black and red plaid bondage pants, black high top chucks, an untucked plain button up black shirt, it hugged her figure and with the first few buttons undone it left little to the imagination, and a black hoodie that was two sizes too big for her with the H.I.M logo emblazoned across it.

"Ready?"

She nodded. "Charger or Harley?" She asked as she turned out the hallway light.

"Charger" I'd put enough stress on my injury already today.

She nodded sheepishly. "I did say I was sorry didn't I?" She said softly pressing a kiss to my lips before turning to grab her keys.

I chuckled softly before slapping her ass as she past me to get her keys. "Just get that gorgeous ass in the car"

She rolled her eyes lightly pulling the door shut after me and unlocked the pristine American muscle car.

She waited for a second letting it warm up properly as she flicked through her music on her iPod and hit play with a light grin on her lips.

I furrowed my brow lightly at the extremely upbeat tune that spewed from the speakers, the lyrics talking of suicide. "What the hell is this?"

"Band called Hollywood Undead, song's called Bullet" She stated before reversing out onto the road and hitting the gas.

* * *

"What's the fastest this thing can do?"

Taru looked over at me and then glanced to her speedo before shrugging lightly, the road was straight, silent and calm. "Let's find out shall we?"

She changed gears easily and increased the speed, eyes flicking over the road quickly as she changed gears again. The Charger was barely straining as it reached the red line and Taru was pushing it for more. _God damn adrenaline junkie._ A genuine smile was on her lips as she slowly decreased her speed. "That answer your question?"

I nodded slightly, the blood and adrenaline was flowing fast, that wasn't the only thing flowing through my veins, the sight of her behind the wheel taking control easily of the power this car held had my hormones surging making me painfully aware of my hard-on.

She looked over after killing the engine. "You ok?" She asked sliding the keys from the ignition and pulled the crooklock from behind her seat to place it over the steering wheel.

"Fine"

She gave a nod stopping her music and pushed open her door before stepping out. I looked down at my erection and quickly willed it to go away before we got inside.

* * *

=Taru's P.O.V=

I leant against the Charger's front driver's side fender and waited for Chibs to get out before lighting a cigarette. Letting the Charger fly like that had gotten my blood flowing to all the right places, it had been a long time since I'd red lined it in any car.

"Come on kulta, get out already"

He slowly slid out of the Charger and shut the door before standing up straight. I still felt bad for the baseball bat accident but I had seriously thought he was an intruder.

Gemma looked up as we walked in and whisked me off to the side to help in the kitchen leaving Chibs to make his way into the living room. "Come on; meet some of the other SAMCRO women"

I gave a light nod as she motioned to a woman chopping up carrots. "Porn queen Luann Delaney," She motioned to a brunette "Crow eater, Sharon," She tipped her head towards another brunette. "Kylie, another crow eater," She shook her lighter trying to get it to light as she motioned to a blonde with long wavy hair as I handed her my own golden coloured jet lighter. "And that's Belinda, I'm sure you can guess what she is"

"Crow eater"

"You catch on quick; she's one of Luann's girls too"

I nodded slightly nodding towards the kitchen. "What can I do?"

"Start with the tomatoes then the lettuce"

I gave a nod taking the knife she handed me and started on the tomatoes next to Luann.

"So you're the Finn everyone's talking about huh?"

I glanced sideways to Luann. "I would assume so"

"Ever thought about the porn business? I'm always looking for new blood"

I chuckled softly and shook my head. "I'm alright, too many scars for camera's" I stated tipping my head towards Luann for her to see, she placed the knife down and took my chin running a finger over the scar to my lower lip.

"Nothing a bit of makeup couldn't hide"

"Those aren't my only ones and one of them can't be hidden by any amount of makeup"

"Where is it?"

"Side of my torso just under my ribs"

"Well the offer's always there if you ever need another job, you'd be surprised what I can do with makeup and editing"

I gave a light nod. "I appreciated it, but... I think I'll stick to what I know for now"

She laughed softly nodding as we continued to talk and chop vegetables.

* * *

"Come on Finland, there's got to be some good stories from your home town"

I grinned slightly placing my bottle lightly on the table glancing to Tig. "There is but they're _really_ not appropriate dinner conversation with kids around" I tipped my head towards the kids sitting across the table from us.

"That bad are they?"

I shrugged lightly. "Some of them" I threw him a sly grin which caused him to laugh out.

"Well you gotta tell me how you got those scars" He motioned to my face.

"The one over my eye is from Dev"

"Really?"

I nodded glancing towards Half-Sack and nodded. "He was a real brute as a youngster, reared up and caught me in the face, broke my nose, three ribs and gave me this" I stated running my finger over the scar that made a jagged line from the middle of my left eyebrow to the top of my cheek bone.

"Alright what about the one on your lip?"

"Story for another time"

Everyone else was chattering around us, Chibs gave me a light nudge under the table causing me to look up to him with a raised eyebrow. He gave me a wink and a light grin before nodding towards the bread rolls. "Pass 'em over would ya"

I handed him the basket of rolls and looked up to Clay as he started speaking.

"What about your parents? They gotta be proud of you"

I stalled slightly, I knew that they would come up sooner or later but it still stung. I took a drink and shrugged lightly. "I wouldn't have a clue; I was raised by my pappa, both parents bailed on me before I was seven"

"Pappa?"

"Grandfather" I clarified shifting in my seat.

"He's gotta be proud of you then"

I nodded to Piney. "He is but he always wanted me to go into the navy"

"Why on earth would he want a fine young lady like you to join the navy?"

I grinned lightly. "He was a marine sniper, his accuracy and eyesight skipped my father's generation and after my stint in boot camp I thought about it"

"Boot camp"

"I hot wired a few cars as a kid, courts don't know what happened to them after I stole them though" I grinned softly draining my bottle.

"That seems pretty steep for a first offense" Jax stated.

"Who said it was a first offence?" I countered before we started laughing.

"So what happened to the cars?"

I glanced over the table to Bobby. "Friend of mine picked them up, made it look legit with a tow truck and all and then sold the car on for parts"

"You're a woman of many hidden talents"

"That I am, that I am," I gave him a wink. "Ask him," I nodded towards Chibs. "I'm sure he can tell you about my _other_ skills"

The adults at the table gave a chuckle leaving the kids to wonder what the hell we were going on about.


	13. Race Day Wins and Losses

**Race Day Wins and Losses  
**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I headed towards the stable block, there were ten horses running today, most in different races throughout the day, it was going to be one hell of a long day. The night before had been great, the dinner had given me a chance to relax and unwind before today.

I pushed the strands of hair back from my face, I was debating about growing it out again and had failed to trim it recently encase I changed my mind.

"Taru?"

I turned at the sound of my name and almost turned into Marcis. "What is it?"

"Lucky's acting up"

"It's his first race, he's just jumpy," I stated heading towards the chestnut colt and slipped under the chains to calm him. He snorted flinching at my touch before rolling his eyes back into his head and rearing slightly. "Calm down Lucky, you'll get a chance to strut your stuff soon," He snorted again letting out a scream of a whinny before stamping each of his hooves in turn as he threw another mini tantrum. "Keep an eye on him and if he starts acting up worse he'll have to be scratched"

Marcis nodded before heading to Ringing Bell to get her ready as I headed to a scrawny grey gelding. "Hey Butch, ready to hit the track?" I asked as I quickly started tacking him up before heading to the truck to grab some boots.

"Taru?"

"Kind of busy right now" I called back to Elliot as I sifted through the mess of boots in the truck. _Note to self. Clean the fucking truck up when we get back to the stables._

"I have some people that want to see you"

 _If it's Chibs and Tig I'll slap them both._ I sighed grabbing a set of boots and ducked out the door jumping to the ground before looking up to the couple. The female was putting on a sickly fake welcoming smile but behind her eyes she was disgusted at me, the male however was more than pleased to shake my filthy hand.

"I'm Christian Phelps, this is my wife Diana"

"Pleasure to meet you both" I said with a nod before heading towards Butch again and quickly ducked under the chains before beginning to put his front boots on.

"So you're Elliot's dirty little secret," I looked up with a cocked eyebrow. "I must admit I've never seen his horses run so well"

I looked towards Elliot, his face flushed with a light crimson, before shaking my head lightly with a soft smirk and booted up Butch's back legs. "Well now that you know about me I'm not a secret anymore am I?" I asked as I stood and patted Butch's rump lightly, an ear flicking back lazily towards me.

"I guess not, how would you like an opportunity to train a few more horses up?"

I leant against Butch's shoulder. "I've got more than I can handle working for Mr Oswald plus I have my own stallion in training"

"Well if you ever want some more work here's my card"

I took the card and looked it. "There will always be work at Oswald Track and Ranch for me" I handed the card back. I had no intentions on turning my back on Elliot.

"Alright, just a suggestion" Christian stated before giving a nod to Elliot and leaving with his wife in tow.

"How many more races?" I asked before unclipping Butch and handing him to Maria.

"Three," His eyes were narrowed watching Christian and his wife before turning to me. "I'll let you get back to work"

I gave a nod and watched him leave before getting stuck back into work.

* * *

I plugged my ears with my iPod and hit play letting the lyrics of _'The Warrior's Code'_ by Dropkick Murphy's flow into my skull.

 _You're the fighter you've got the fire_  
The spirit of a warrior, the champion's heart  
You fight for your life because the fighter never quits  
You make the most of the hand you're dealt  
Because the quitter never wins  
No!

I settled against a concrete wall and lit a cigarette; it was my first break since I'd started working at 4 am this morning. I glanced around the corner watching the going's on in the busy stable block.

_You were born to box in a city that's seen their share_   
_Mello, Ryan, Carney, among them your photo proudly hangs there_   
_Above the bar in the Gaelic Club_   
_They tell the story of a throwback_   
_With the heart of a lion_   
_They salute your glory_

I bit back a laugh watching a mare nuzzling a gelding next to her before I moved my eyes over to two stable lads talking and drinking taking a quick well deserved break from their hectic day.

_It's another murderous right_   
_Another left hook from hell_   
_A bloody war on the boardwalk_   
_And the kid from Lowell rises to the bell_

I moved my eyes over to Maria; she was busy talking on her cell as she groomed a dirty bay filly, her mouth never stopped going unless you yelled at her. I turned my attention to Marcis who was busy kitting up Lucky for his race, the leggy Chestnut with a heart of gold was snorting and prancing in place ready to eat up the track.

_Micky_   
_It's a warrior's code_   
_Micky_   
_He's got the warrior's soul_

I glanced around the deserted car park and took in each of the trucks, Oswald's was a big white one with a pair of thick green stripes down both sides near the bottom, eighteen horses easily fitted inside with a large simple tack room in the centre. Almost all the other truck were ten horse truck, some were smaller fitting only six, others were trailers towed behind Ute's.

 _Micky_  
It's a warrior's code  
Micky  
He's got the warrior's soul

I crushed the end of my cigarette and let out a low breath before stopping my iPod and heading back to work.

* * *

My heart stalled as Marcis came rushing into the stables. "You need to get to the starting gates _now!_ "

I gave a nod and headed after him. We raced across the sand of the track and round to the deep green starting gates, a group of officials were there, blue screens up with an ambulance and several other stable hands, the starting gate now devoid of the other horses and their jockey's.

"What happened?" I asked as we got closer and slipped past the small crowd of stable hands.

"It was Butch, he freaked out" Marcis explained as we finally broke out of the group and headed towards the fallen horse.

My heart strings tugged for the small grey gelding as he lay on the ground, leg twisted at an odd angle and bleeding heavily, his hoof caught in the starting gates. "Paska" I growled before carefully inspecting his leg.

"Are you his owner?"

I shook my head kneeling next to Butch. "Trainer, what happened?" I asked stroking his cheek trying to calm his frantic breaths, his eyes showing their whites as he jerked his head and leg before letting out a squeal of pain.

"He freaked out and wouldn't go into the gates, we tried to force him in but he refused to budge"

I shook my head lightly and stroked Butch's sweating neck. "Well perhaps you _shouldn't_ have forced him in should you?" I spat in a low snarl before shaking my head. He was useless now; he would never recover from an injury like this, it was obvious from the way his leg was twisted that his cannon bone had been shattered. "I'm pretty sure I don't have to tell you what to do, he'll never recover from an injury like this" I stated before carefully stroking Butch's cheek.

I hated watching horses being put to sleep; it gave me nightmares that one day _I_ would have to do it to Duke, Dev or Jess. I shuddered slightly and placed my hand on Butch's shoulder before sighing softly as the first compound was injected followed by the second. I flinched slightly and closed my eyes briefly before Butch fell still from his shaking and grunting. "Lepo helppo komea, juosta vapaana kanssa tammojen jälleen" I murmured before reaching over and unhooking his broken leg from the gate, I placed it gently on the ground and stood before wiping the blood away from my hands to my jeans.

* * *

"Taru, there you are," I looked up to Elliot as he handed me an envelope. "It's your cut from today"

"Oh, right" I took the envelope and tucked it into my pocket, I'd been squatting against the concrete wall of the stable block chain smoking since Butch's accident, it had shocked me slightly, the one thing I could _never_ get used to was putting a horse down, their body shaking and grunting as every system shuts down in their body.

"Are you ok?"

I looked up and nodded. "It just makes me realize how old Duke is and how _I_ might have to go through that pain of putting him down, it shakes me up a bit when I see a horse put down, I _hate_ listening to their grunt's, it's something you never forget," I stated clutching my head slightly before slowly standing. "I'll be right in a few hours; it's just a shock to my system"

Elliot gave a nod and placed a hand on my shoulder, concern in his eyes. "Take tomorrow off" He stated before leaving me to my chain smoking and thinking. It would absolutely _kill_ me when I had to finally say goodbye to Duke, he was one of the strings of my lifeline, my first horse and an absolute star.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paska = Shit
> 
> Lepo helppo komea, juosta vapaana kanssa tammojen jälleen = Rest easy handsome, run free with those mares again


	14. Carnivals and Shipments

**Carnivals and Shipments**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I grinned softly laughing with Juice as we walked, cotton candy in hand, the carnival in full swing around us.

"Serious? You did that?"

I put my right hand up. "Right hand to god, dry ice flushed down a toilet was my first expulsion," I stated picking off a piece of pink cotton candy and placed it in my mouth. "When you do it to the teacher's toilets and they explode it's the funniest shit to watch"

We began laughing again before walking past a clown dunking game.

"Oh look at the big scary biker and his _mum,_ why don't you show everyone how much of a girl you are?"

We both stalled looked towards the clown.

"Did he _really_ just insult you?" I asked before Juice handed over some tickets to the woman.

"I think he insulted you worse" He stated as he launched the first one and missed before launching the second and missed again. The taunts getting worse from the clown with each miss. I caught the dirty hard plastic yellow ball Juice threw at me. "Let me see that accuracy you were talking about"

I chuckled softly handing him my cotton candy and lined up my sight with the hole before launching the ball hard and fast, it slammed against the target sinking the laughing clown who came up choking on the disgusting water he'd swallowed and gasping for air.

"Well done"

"Thanks" I grinned lightly and looked at the large blue fluffy stuffed unicorn toy the woman handed me. I placed it over my shoulders, one leg on each shoulder, its head resting on the top of mine. We both continued on laughing and talking about the shit we'd done in school and beyond.

* * *

"Hey"

"What the hell is that?" Tig asked as he pushed the gate open from the dragon roller coaster ride.

I looked to the unicorn. "My prize for dunking some sarcastic redneck clown," I stated swatting Tig's hands away from it. "Na uh, Mitt's off"

He pouted before stealing the rest on my cotton candy. "Give me the unicorn or I'll lick your cotton candy"

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow; he was acting childish for a change. "Eh, I've shared worse bodily fluids before" I stated with a shrug keeping a death grip on my prize.

He pouted again and stuck out his tongue before finishing off my cotton candy. _Perhaps it's too much sugar... or drugs, perhaps he got into a stash of reds._ I fell into step with Bobby, Tig and Jax as we headed to find Gemma and Clay.

"How'd you win that?" Gemma asked eyeing the bright blue fluffy unicorn.

"Dunking Bozo the sarcastic clown" I stated with pride before I found the unicorn stolen from my back by Jax, he ran off laughing with Tig, tossing the stuffed animal between each other. I watched them for a minute with a raised eyebrow before I shook my head lightly and chuckled.

"You gonna let them get away with that?"

I looked to Gemma and shook my head. "Just debating which one's the easier one to chase down" I stated before giving chase after Tig.

I caught up with a few quick bursts of long strides and almost crashed into him as he stopped to catch his breath. "Got ya!" I called jumping onto his back, one arm wrapped around his neck almost choking him, my legs around his waist as I grabbed the unicorn back with a triumphant yell. His hands wrapped around my legs holding me up as he gave me a piggy back ride back towards Clay, Bobby and Gemma who were all laughing at our short show.

I jumped down as Tig released my legs and clutched the unicorn putting it back over my shoulders like I'd had it before. "You," Tig stated pointing his finger at me accusingly. "Are bloody light"

I glanced down at my body and nodded lightly. "I know, point being?"

"You need to eat more," He stated before slapping my ass. "Would hate for you to lose that ass of yours"

I laughed softly and shook my head before Clay hauled Gemma up over his shoulder. "You should really keep your hands to yourself Tig"

"I'm sure you'll get over it Finland"

The nickname had stuck since he'd first started calling me it. I looked to see Elliot, Karen and their daughter, Tristen, coming from a ride.

"Clay"

"How're you doing Elliot?"

They shook hands before Elliot turned to me. "Taru" His eyes went to the unicorn before he shook his head slightly as I grinned brightly.

"Taru" Karen greeted me with a light glare.

"Karen" I gave her a curt nod, Elliot knew we didn't like each other; it was obvious every time she got near me.

"Hey mum I'm gonna go to the spinner again" Tristen said looking to Karen.

"Tristen you've been on it four times already," She stated before Jax pulled out some tickets and handed them to her. "That's not necessary"

"It's alright," He looked to Tristen. "They kicked me off 'cause I was screaming to loud" He stated with a wink before they moved off.

"Where's Bozo the sarcastic clown?" I looked to Bobby and nodded down one of the aisle as Gemma dragged Clay off to the photo booth.

"Follow me" I stated leading the way back to the clown.

"Oh look at the big bad bikers," He mocked as we arrived. "Gonna get clowny all wet?" I hung back next to Tig and watched as Jax took his shots trying to dunk the clown. "What's the matter tough guy? Can't put the ball in the tiny little hole?" I shook my head lightly before the clown _really_ stuck his foot in it. "Bet your leather wearing butt buddies say the same thing"

I looked to Tig and watched him shake his head. "Oh no, that's a bozo no, no" He stated as he moved forward punching the lever dropping the clown into the freezing waters.

I broke out laughing as they jumped up and pushed him under the water several times. I looked over as Juice came running over and jerked his head towards the car park. "The Irish are coming" He stated before the boys gave a nod.

"See you later Finland" Tig stated slinging an arm around my shoulder's in a lopsided hug.

"See ya Tigger, give Filip my love when you see him"

They walked off after Juice leaving me to pick my own way to Gemma.

I found her coming out of a photo booth and grinned lightly. "Do I even _want_ to know?" I asked before she flashed me her own impish grin.

* * *

"Tristan! Tristan!"

I furrowed my brow watching Karen looking around wildly for her daughter. Gemma looked towards her before we made our way over. "What's going on?"

"We can't find Tristen"

"She must be here somewhere"

"We've looked everywhere"

"Well she can't have gone far" I stated looking around at the carnival.

"She's not on any of the rides"

I glanced around again. I knew the same feeling's Karen was having, the sickening guilt that you let your child out of your sights for ten seconds now they're not there anymore. "I'll check the arcade and the stalls over that side" I stated before heading towards the small arcade to find Tristen.


	15. Distraught Moments Often Lead to Bad Situations

**Distraught Moments Often Lead to Bad Situations**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I sat in my Charger, music up loud and head rested on my arms on the steering wheel as I let out a long low agitated sigh, the scene from hours ago still playing in my forethoughts as I banged my head lightly against my forearms. _Why oh why did I let him do that?_ I growled lowly before looking up at the empty car park around me, I'd taken a drive to clear my head but it had made it fuller than ever. _I really shouldn't have let him do that._ I groaned lowly and banged my head several times more before letting my shoulder's slump. _This is_ _ **so**_ _going to come back and bite me in the god damn ass later on. What the hell am I going to fucking do?_ I let out a strangled cry of frustration and hit my forehead hard against the steering wheel before groaning and rubbing at the aching spot on my forehead.

 _I stepped into the hayloft and stalled hearing a strangled sigh._ Who the hell's up here? _I furrowed my brow standing up straight and looked around briefly before my eyes landed on Elliot._

" _Elliot?" He looked up, eyes wide in embarrassment that he'd been caught crying. I frowned slightly and took a seat next to him before putting the hay net's down on the floor. "What's wrong?"_

_He shook his head lightly. "Tristen..." He murmured softly as he wiped at a stray tear._

_I nodded lightly and rubbed his back. "She's a strong kid, she'll pull through this," I stated. "She's got you and Karen to help her through this too"_

_He let out a strangled sigh again and put his head in his hands. "She's only thirteen! Who does that to a thirteen year old girl? My daughter no less!" He said before breaking down in a new wave of tears._

_I took his hand and rubbed it lightly before looking up at him. "Does she remember anything else?"_

_He looked up before shaking his head. "She doesn't remember a thing, it's the shock"_

_I nodded slightly before looking at my hand wrapped around his as he squeezed it lightly. "Thank you for this Taru," I nodded lightly before looking up at him as he started rubbing the pad of his thumb in a gentle circle on the back of my hand. "It means a lot to have someone here for_ _**me** _ _, Karen's too focused on Tristen and she expects me to be strong for the both of them" He explained softly before drawing me into a sudden hug._

_I froze slightly, I wasn't used to the entire crying and hugging thing, I'd never really been used to dealing with hugging while someone poured out their emotions. Kids I could deal with when they did it but an adult doing it was a whole other ball game and I was so far out of my depth it wasn't funny. "I'll always be here if you need to talk to me Elliot, I'm actually a pretty good listener despite my appearance and eccentricities"_

_He pulled back and looked at me for a second before closing the short gap between us quickly. I blinked rapidly, body and mind frozen as he placed a kiss to my lips. My mind finally started to work followed shortly by my body allowing me to push him away gently._

_He looked up wide eyed for a second before rapidly looking between my eyes and lips before quickly jumping back realising what he'd done. "I'm sorry Taru, I...I..." He struggled with his words before falling silent.  
_

" _It's ok," The corner of my mouth twitched at a lopsided smile. My insides however were knotted beyond all hell. "It's only because of everything that's been going on around you, because of everything that's been happening with your family," I said in a rush. I didn't know whether I was trying to console myself or him, it was confusing me and tearing me up even faster inside. "You're not thinking straight, your emotions are controlling you right now"_

_He nodded quickly as he stood. "Exactly, I'm not thinking straight," He turned away. "I love my wife," He stated glancing back; he was trying to convince himself of the fact's he was saying out loud. "Not that you're not a beautiful young woman but I love Karen and as you said it's just because of my emotions and everything going on around me"_

_I nodded slightly before standing. "I think I need to go, I'll..." I paused thinking of a fast excuse that could get me off the property fast. "I... I need to pick up some gumnuts for Duke" I stated quickly before all but running to the hayloft ladder and slid down it quickly before all but running for my Charger._

I let out a frustrated growl, my insides were churning and I was tied up in knots. _God damn it all to hell and back. This day couldn't possibly get any more fucked up than it has._ I glanced around the empty car park again before sitting up straight, the engine was rumbling lowly as it sat running and idle waiting for me to decide whether or not another lap of the car park was a good idea or not. _I need to talk to someone, someone who would know the answers._ I rubbed at my neck before pushing the door open and sliding out. I moved to the front of my Charger and sat on the edge of the warm bonnet; black tire marks were in a circuit around the car park, I'd red lined it and drifted around the empty lot as I tried to clear my head for nothing but mindless thinking. _What the hell is Filip going to think or do when I tell him?_ I sighed softly, here were all the questions I had been doing my best to avoid thinking off. _What the hell are_ _ **we**_ _? Are we dating? Are we just fucking? What the hell is it?_ I jumped off the bonnet and let out a loud scream before doubling over to force out all the air in my lungs as I collapsed to the sun baked tarmac. I rolled over to lay out flat on my back watching the clouds and the blue sky for a moment before finally and slowly dragging myself up into sitting cross legged watching the body of my car tremble like a Thoroughbred before a race. _Gemma._ I grinned grabbing my front bumper before hauling my ass up. _Gemma would know what to do._ I rushed around to my driver's side with a maniac's grin plastered on my lips. _She_ _ **always**_ _has at least some sort of an answer for everything._

* * *

I pulled into the forecourt of Teller-Morrow, tyres squealing slightly as I backed into a spot quickly and slid out slamming my door shut after killing the engine. I caught the sight of Half-Sack and Juice in the garage along with a couple of club hang-arounds as I quickly crossed the oil splattered concrete of the workshop towards the inside door.

"Taru?"

"Not now," I stated forcefully in the Prospect's direction before stepping into the office to find Gemma sitting in the seat at the computer, I pushed the door shut to the garage causing her to look up with a raised eyebrow. "I need your help"

"Help? What happened now?"

"Nothing," I paused. "Something?" I furrowed my brow and growled in frustration. "I don't know" I stated as I began pacing the floor from the front door to the back wall in front of the desk.

"Explain" She said idly as she turned her attention back to the papers cluttering the desk.

"You know when you get those really fucked up feelings?" I asked and looked to Gemma; her eyes came up briefly an amused smirk flickering to her lips. "You know, those _really_ fucked up ones that make you go and do something stupid"

She sat back and finally looked at me properly. "I do," She stated as she took off her glasses. "Who'd you fuck?"

"No one," I stated. " _He_ kissed me"

"Who is this mysterious _he_ person?"

"Elliot" I said as I resumed my pacing, my insides were knotted up making me feel sick, it was eating me up quickly, I hadn't expected it to eat me up _this_ quickly.

"Elliot? As in Elliot Oswald? As in your _boss_ Elliot Oswald?" She asked as I nodded rapidly as I continued to pace whilst chewing on the edge of my thumbnail. She began laughing. "Oh god, this is too good to be true, when did it happen?"

"A few hours ago in the hayloft," I stated before stopping and looking towards her. "He was torn up over Tristen and Karen isn't doing fuck all to help _him_ through this ordeal, she cares about keeping Tristen locked away and that's it," I rushed out. "One thing led to another and he just poured it all out before he kissed me" I clarified. Saying it out loud made it all too real and I began pacing again.

"Does Chibs know?"

I shook my head. "I don't want him getting pissed about it," I stalled. "But then he should, but he shouldn't, but he should..." I let out a frustrated strangled scream into my hands. "I don't even know _what_ he and I _are_ ," I glanced to her before collapsing heavily into the chair by the door. "You see my dilemma?" I asked resting my head back against the wall heavily. It was draining me mentally and emotionally right now.

"With the amount of time Chibs spends with you I think it would be safe to assume you're more than just a bit of pussy or a good fuck for him, you may as well be his old lady," She stated turning her chair to face me, one leg crossed over the other. "You got feelings for Oswald?"

I looked up at her for a moment. "No," My brain running a million miles an minute before I realized what she'd asked me, my eyes widened and I quickly shook my head. " _God_ no," I stated. "I like to keep my business and pleasure separate if I can"

Gemma nodded. "At least you've got that in perspective"

"But I mean, he wouldn't have done it if there wasn't _something_ there already right?" I looked to Gemma for some sort of words of wisdom.

"What do you want me to say?"

I shrugged. "I don't know," I leant forward putting my head into my hands and rested my elbows on my knees. "Tell me I'm making a big deal out of nothing and I should go drink myself into a stupor to forget this ever happened?" I looked up with a weak smile as she chuckled.

"You _really_ want me to say that?"

I shrugged lightly before giving an aggravated sigh. "Fuck, I don't know. Should I tell Chibs?"

Gemma was silent before she leant forward looking at me for a moment before answering. "Do you know how Clay and I met?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion before shaking my head. "I've heard the odd rumor from the sweetbutt's and hang-arounds but never the honest to god truth"

"When Thomas was born he was born with the same heart defect that Jax, Abel and I were born with but he wasn't as strong and fell sick," She explained opening up to me about a piece of history I vaguely remembered Chibs telling me a while back. "John pushed me away when it looked like he was going to die and left for Ireland with McGee to help set up the Belfast charter. John left me to try and cope with Thomas' ill health all by myself..." She trailed off.

I was stumped for a second as to _why_ she was telling me this before it hit me. "I think I can see where you're going with this"

She nodded. "Clay, he was there for me, he helped me and I began to see him in a different light, one I _used_ to see John in," She smiled lightly. "When Thomas finally slipped into a coma and passed away John was still gallivanting around Ireland but Clay," She paused. "Clay was the one to pull me through it, he picked me up and helped me repair my life," I looked at Gemma, it was different seeing her vulnerable like this. "Thomas' death changed John for the worse, he pushed me away but Clay was the one constant thing for me"

I nodded lightly before we lapsed into silence. "It's never easy going through the loss of a child alone," I murmured lowly, my thoughts sinking into the minutes, hours, days, months and year after Niko and Kai had been ripped away from me, I'd gone through most of it alone. "It still doesn't answer my question though" I stated looking up at her.

Her lips quirked in a light smirk as she chuckled. "Being an old lady works one of two ways, either _he_ tells you everything or nothing; it can't be a fifty, fifty thing where he tells you only what he _wants_ you to know. It doesn't always work the same in reverse; you need to use your best judgement when it comes to what to tell him," She leant back in her chair. "It's like the ' _What happens on a run, stay's on a run'_ rule, it should _never_ come back to slap you in the face later on"

I burst out in laughter before giving her a lopsided grin. "I can _so_ see _that_ rule getting broken, something will come back to bite me in the ass and knowing my luck it'll be _my_ past"

She looked up with a cocked eyebrow before shaking her head lightly. "It happens to everyone at _least_ once in their life time" She stated before looking to Clay as he entered the office.

"Not interrupting girl talk am I?" He asked picking up a set of keys from the wall.

Gemma looked to me in question and I shook my head. "No, I think we're all done," I stated as I stood. "Thanks for the help Gem"

She nodded. "So what're you going to do?" She asked in curiosity before leaning back in the chair.

"One of two things to do," I explained. "Let it chew me up and spit me out or tell him the god damn truth even if he does hate me afterwards for it," I shrugged lightly. "It can chew me up a bit more while I red line the Charger on the road between here and Lodi for a while"

She nodded, handing some papers to Clay. "Good choice"

I gave a nod before heading out to my Charger and slipped in ignoring the boys that were at the picnic table talking. I pulled out with a screech of tyres and headed towards the highway ready to let my Charger fly.


	16. Very Special Goodbye

**Very Special Goodbye**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I pulled up outside Taru's house, the lights on inside, music up loud. Something had been eating at her earlier on, the way she'd strode over to her Charger after coming from the Teller-Morrow office, it was one of those strides that screamed she had a fire to burn out, a score to settle.

I placed my helmet over the edge of my handlebars and slipped off before heading towards the front door, heat rolled off her Charger as I passed it giving me the distinct impression that she'd only recently arrived home.

I banged on the door and waited listening to see if she would answer before the door was ripped open taking me by surprise, I blinked slightly before pulling my glasses off and took in the Finn, she was decked in a very short pair of greying denim cut off shorts and a figure hugging blue tank top, I took in the lack of a bra and the smell of burnt rubber that rolled off her before grinning lightly. _God damn it she looks sexy right now._ "Can I come in or are ya goin' ta make me stand out here all night?"

She nodded numbly stepping out of the way, a cigarette resting between her lips and fresh bottle of beer in her fingers. "What'd I do to gain this visit?" She asked before settling on the couch, both long legs folded in front of her so she was sat cross legged.

"What were ya talkin' ta Gemma about?"

She looked up and shrugged. "Nothing much, just girl talk" She stated with a shrug before taking a long drink.

I watched her throat move as she drank and licked my dry lips. "I'm headin' out tomorrow, up north with an Irishman"

The Finn looked over putting the now empty bottle down, she seemed to mull it over before putting a voice to her question. "Alright, want to tell me why?"

"Club business"

I almost missed the slight twitch of her eye before she stood and went through to the kitchen before coming back with an opened bottle of beer and handed to me. I nodded my thanks and took it almost draining it straight away; she was off in her own world watching the TV blankly. "Wanna tell me what's got ya away with the fairies?"

She looked over and shrugged lightly. "Work shit," She offered lamely tracing the top of her bottle idly. "When will you be back?"

"Few days, we leave tomorrow mornin'"

She nodded and drained the rest of her bottle. "Want some dinner or something?" She asked as she stood and turned towards the kitchen. "Or did you come for something else?"

I looked up from her ass to her face, a cocky grin spread across her lips as she shook her head and headed to the kitchen. I stood following her and leant against the counter as she sifted through the fridge giving me a good eyeful of her ass. _I wonder if she knows she's doing this or if she's doing it by accident._ I shifted and bit back a light groan as the material of my pants shifted across my erection. _She had_ _ **better**_ _not be bloody teasing me._

Taru stood and placed a plastic container on the counter before nudging the fridge door shut with her hip. I flicked a tongue across my lips catching the stray drop of alcohol as she opened a cupboard above her taking out pasta.

I watched as the tank top rode up slightly showing off the charging bull tattoo across her lower back. "So what's with the bull tattoo?"

She turned and looked towards me. "I'm a Taurus" She stated before placing the pasta down and pulled out a pan before flicking the oven on and filling the pan with water.

I hesitated before crossing the lino, my front pressed to her back as I pressed her into the counter's edge. "Want some help?" I asked running my fingers up bringing the hem of her tank top up with it.

"Sure," She tipped her head towards the table. "Set the table" She stated before sliding from my grip to tend to the boiling water on the oven top.

I scowled slightly. "Ya just teasin' me ain't ya?"

She looked over in confusion before I motioned to her attire; she looked down and grinned sheepishly. "This is my only clean clothing" She stated before turning back to the oven.

"So what're ya makin'?"

She shrugged lightly. "Dunno, pasta, veges, sauce?" She said.

I chuckled softly. "You don't know?"

She shook her head. "It's a mix and match," She stated before turning around to face me. I licked my lips before taking a seat at the table before she made her way over and sat in my lap facing me, arms wrapped around my neck, chest pressed against mine. "If you're gonna leave for a while I guess we'd better make the most of tonight huh?"

I looked up to her liquid silver eyes and nodded. "Suppose we'd better darlin', where do ya want ta start?"

She smirked lightly and quickly slid off me. "After dinner" She stated before turning back to the oven to tend to the boiling water.

* * *

I looked to the Finn curled up into me, her eyes focused on the screen; the movie playing was her only interest right now. I focused back on the screen, _'Repo! The Genetic Opera'_ playing, it wasn't something that perked my interests but Taru seemed content to watch it while curled against me, head in my lap as I sat with my feet up on the edge of the coffee table.

My breath hitched slightly as cold air attacked the warm skin on my abdomen. _God damn she's sneaky._ _She would have made an excellent pick pocket._ She shifted her head slightly placing it further up on my chest, finger's lightly tugging at the opening of my jeans.

My heart rate increased tenfold as she tugged my cock free from my jeans and underwear, her fingers wrapping around it slowly as she worked me to erection. I let my head loll back and a moan rattled in my chest as she lowered her head flicking her tongue out. Wet, hot heat enveloped me earning another moan as I wrapped a hand through her short messy strands of hair, I groaned softly as she swirled her tongue expertly around my head and worked her free hand up and down my cock in a teasing fashion.

I shifted slightly nudging my hips up as she worked up and down my cock, lips sealed tight around me, free hand playing with my balls. I grunted softly shutting my eyes. _Where the hell did she get so good at giving head? She in some porno's I'm not aware of?_ I moaned lowly, she was taking her time, she was in no rush and neither was I. I pushed slightly urging her to take more and let out a louder moan as she slowly sunk lower. I tipped my head forward to watch and groaned lowly watching her mouth wrapped tightly around my cock, our eyes met briefly as she came up and moved taking my balls into her mouth.

I threw my head back as a moan ripped out of my throat. _She's driving me fucking insane._ Her mouth slipped over my cock again, lips tight and teeth lightly scraping across the sensitive skin causing my hips to buck involuntarily. I could feel the pressure building up as she continued on, my moans getting louder and more frequent as I clenched my fingers through her hair and tensed up. _Shit. Shit. Shit._ "Shit, I'm goin' ta cum" That was the only warning she got as I felt the pressure release in an almost painful pleasure.

I moaned lowly feeling her drink back everything spilling into her mouth. _So she swallows._ I grunted softly unwrapping my fingers from her hair allowing her to bring her head up. _Jesus fucking Christ that's hot, even most of the sweetbutt's won't swallow._

Liquid silver irises landed on mine, she had an oh so innocent look on her face as she sat up properly. I let out a long low breath before drawing her close and crushing our lips together, my taint still on her lips. She let out a low moan, skin on her leg goose bumping under my touch as I ran my fingers down her thin long waxed limb and hauled her into my lap. "Give me a few minutes and I'll be up for another round" I murmured lowly before unbuttoning her shorts.


	17. Taste of Charming

**Taste of Charming**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I pulled the horse truck to a stop on the grassy area on the field. Gemma had asked me to help out with her Taste of Charming fundraiser and when I'd suggested Duke and rides she given me the ok, I'd then gone and asked Elliot if I could borrow Patches, Ember, Firefly and Kitten for the event too.

"Great, you're here"

I looked to Gemma as I stepped down from the cab and nodded. "Five on board" I stated before tugging on the rope of the first door and lowered it carefully.

"Brilliant"

"I need to get them out of here before you light up the skies though"

She nodded looking up at the horses. "There's a water tap next to the sports shed if you need one"

I shook my head. "No need, this beast has a water tank on board"

She laughed softly and nodded before helping me set up the metal pipe set of gates next to the truck. "I'll be at the chilli tent if you need anything; some of the boys are coming down to help out later on, Bobby's doing his Elvis stint for us again this year"

I chuckled softly before pushing open the first gate and unclipped Duke. "Teller-Morrow does WOF's right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Trucks due in a soon, I'll need to bring it round"

"Sure, just give me a day and time"

I gave a nod hitching Duke next to the truck before unloading the four others and hitching them to the side of the truck as well. "I decided against telling him," I stated as I pushed the back door up. "No point in stirring up trouble right?"

"Exactly," Gemma gave a nod patting Duke's shoulder. "He's a beautiful boy"

I grinned softly. "My first boy" I stated as I hung up the hay net's and placed a saddle on his back leaving it girthed loosely on his back.

"How old is he?"

"Twenty seven, he's been with me since he was five" I stated throwing his bridle over the top of his rope halter before starting on Kitten.

"How're things going with Chibs?"

I looked up from tacking up the elderly grey mare and felt a light grin tug at my lips. "It's alright"

She gave a knowing smile and laughed softly. "Have you got everything set here?"

I looked around quickly and nodded. "I'll be fully set up in a minute"

She nodded. "Alright, I need to set up some other things. Leave at about five, it should give you enough time to get back here and watch the fire display"

I nodded as she walked off leaving me to get the others ready.

* * *

"Hey Tig"

I glanced over at a deeper voice and saw a guy with a thick beard standing next to Tig who was currently leaning against the edge of my truck. "Opie"

"How's things?" Jax asked as he came over.

"Good so far," I glanced past him to see Tig and Opie. "Tig you're gonna lose that cigarette in a minute" I stated as Ember inched closer getting ready to steal the cigarette and quite possibly skin from Tig.

The guy looked between Tig and I before looking to Jax for an answer. "Taru, Opie, Opie, Taru, she's a friend of the club"

"Oh, hey"

"Good to meet you" I stated before lighting my own cigarette as I sat down on one of the metal seats I'd set up. It was a short lunch break for me and the horses before we got stuck into work again.

I glanced to the woman next to Opie and gave her a smile before extending me hand as the three boys talked shit with each other. "Taru"

"Donna, Opie's wife"

I gave a nod and looked to her daughter before nodding towards Duke. "You can feed Duke if you want"

"Is he safe?"

I nodded. "Duke's a sweetheart, he wouldn't hurt anyone"

She nodded before I pulled out a bag of jelly beans and handed some to her. "His favorite," I stated with a wink before leaning back in the seat. "Take a seat if you want" I said before blowing my smoke away from her.

"Thanks, so you're a friend of the club"

"I guess you could call me that, I work for Oswald training and riding his horses"

She nodded wringing her hands slightly. "Must be a good job"

I shrugged lightly. "It pays alright, Elliot's a good guy to work for once you get past the money and get to know him" I stated crushing the end of my cigarette.

"Hey Donna I'm just gonna go check on the fireworks and stuff"

She glanced back at Opie and nodded before the three men left us. "What're your kid's names?"

"Kenny and Ellie"

I nodded lightly. "Do you want to grab something to eat? I've got a half hour to kill before I need to start giving rides again"

"Sure," She looked to her kids. "Come on, we're gonna get some food"

They nodded leaving Duke and coming back over to the table before we all headed towards the main area to grab some food.

"Have you got kids?"

I looked up and Donna and shook my head. "I have a niece in Santa Monica though"

"I wouldn't have pegged you as an old lady"

I chuckled slightly. "Not an old lady but I am doing the dirty with the lovely Scotsman"

She looked up with a slight smile. "Where are you from?"

"Lapland in Finland"

"That explains the accent"

I nodded slightly taking a bite from my hotdog. "Is Opie part of the club?"

She looked up and then looked to her husband. "He was"

I glanced at Opie and then back at Donna, the family seemed strained. "He just got out didn't he?"

She looked up and nodded. "He's earning straight now"

I nodded lightly throwing my rubbish away as we walked past a bin. "But money's still tight?"

She looked up wide eyed for a second. "How..."

"I can see the strain, been there before and it cost me my family"

"Oh, so you know how tough it can get?"

I nodded. "Don't suppose you'd have any old blankets or sheets would you?"

She furrowed her brow. "We have a few, why?"

"I make some of my own horse gear, old blankets always make great under rugs and Duke needs a new one for winter this year, his old bones don't handle the cold too well"

"Well do you want to swing round and pick them up one afternoon?" She asked, by the look in her eyes she knew exactly what I was doing and smiled gratefully as I nodded.

"I'll head over after work on Monday"

"Alright, thank you"

I nodded before checking the time. "I should get back to the ponies," I stated. "I'll see you on Monday if I don't see you before then"

She nodded letting me leave to go back to my truck to finish my job for the day.


	18. Sexy Snaps

**Sexy Snaps**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I twirled my phone around idly as I lay on my bed watching the ceiling, the Taste of Charming day the day before had gone well, Gemma had raised the money needed for the school and a bit extra.

I glanced to the phone in my hand before looking at the sketches littering the floor and bed, several were of Filip, others of Tig and the other boys, a few of Gemma, one of Duke, another of Dev and one of Jess. Random ones of the sights back home and one of my Charger. I looked to the phone in my hands again and grinned brightly before pushing the sketches into a pile on the floor and quickly unzipped my jeans before shrugging off my top until I was naked in the middle of the bed. _Am I really going to do this?_ I asked myself as I clicked the camera on. _Yes._

I held it up before snapping a few photos of my face and then some of a wider area of skin before I quickly snapped some of my legs and bit my lip between my teeth before sending them off to Chibs.

I licked at my dry lips before taking a few snaps of my breasts, one of me with my nipples between my finger tips and one of me squeezing them before grinning. _He is_ _ **so**_ _gonna kill me when he gets back here._ I trailed my fingers over my torso from my breasts and let out a low breath ghosting the tips of my fingers over the skin of my thighs snapping pictures every so often before finally dragging a finger over my pussy.

A shiver ripped through my body as I dug my finger in a bit deeper and did it again before moaning lowly as I sunk a finger between my wet folds. I slid another in and closed my eyes briefly bucking my hips against my hand. _There is going to be hell to pay when Filip gets back._

I groaned softly quickening my pace before circling my clit. I plunged my fingers back in before throwing my head back as a moan of pleasure rumbled in my throat. I panted slightly and alternated between fast and slow paces, my free hand tweaking my nipples, the phone long forgotten on the bed as I continued to pleasure myself.

I clenched the duvet as I bucked my hips up off the bed, three fingers working in and out quickly as I tried to bring myself to the brink of the dark abyss of pleasure, I moaned lowly vaguely aware of the phone vibrating on the bed as I clawed at my flesh, finger nails digging into the skin of my thighs.

I opened my eyes quickly, my heart rate increasing tenfold. _Almost there._ I moaned softly feeling heat spreading up my body slowly from the pit of my abdomen. _Just a bit more._ I plunged my fingers in mercilessly to my wet pussy and clenched my free hand through my hair before grabbing the phone. _You're going to have one hell of a show kulta, hope you can wait until you get here._ I grinned lowly and snapped a few pictures before dropping the phone to the bed leaving it silent as I continued.

My body caught fire quickly, the wild fire of heat spreading quickly from the tips of my toes to the top of my head as I felt my walls spasm around my fingers. The moan that ripped from my throat was one of pure unadulterated pleasure, high and long as I tipped myself over the brink. I collapsed to the bed, body and mind reeling and twitching from my orgasm. I let out a long low breath as I tried to regain some sort of order to the chaos in my mind and grinned lopsidedly before sending those last few photos to Chibs. _Oh yeah he's definitely going to kill me when he gets back._ I grinned lightly and shoved the phone onto the side table before curling up under my covers to snooze.

* * *

I looked up the door and stood furrowing my brow lightly before standing, my spine snapping and popping as I stretched up before flicking the locks across and pulling the door open.

"Someone's been a naughty little girl while I've been away," Chibs stated before stepping in, lips crushing against mine as he wrapped his arms around my waist and yanked me flush against his body. I was vaguely aware of him kicking the door shut before my back hit the wall opposite the door. "Ya _really_ shouldn't be doin' things like that ta me Taru"He murmured against my neck before kissing gently at the bite mark that had permanently scarred my skin from our first meeting.

"Oh really? Well how was _I_ supposed to know when you were going to be coming back?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck as his fingers fumbled with the zipper and button on my jeans.

He grabbed my hand and placed it against his hard crotch. "I've been fuckin' hard since ya sent me those god damn photo's darlin', now what are ya goin' ta do about it?"

I grinned lightly before quickly unbuttoning his jeans. Both pairs falling to the ground simultaneously. "What do you _want_ me to do about it?" I asked as jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, back pressed hard against the wall, his free hand shifting my underwear to the side, the other wrapped around my waist supporting me.

We both moaned lowly as he sunk into me, head rested in the crook of my neck, breath hot on my skin as we stayed like that for a moment.

"God damn ya Taru, ya all I can think about some days," He murmured pressing hot needy kisses along my neck and jaw before finally coming to my lips. "I don't know what I'd do if somethin' happened ta ya love" He murmured gently against my lips before pulling my bottom lip between his and sucked on it harshly.

"Its simple kulta, you'd find another bit of pussy to fuck" I stated before my hips were crushed roughly between his and the wall.

"It's not that simple anymore, ya more ta me than a bit of pussy," He stated drawing out slowly. "What's it gonna take ta make ya see that love?" He asked as he crushed his lips to mine again. "And anyway, I would _never_ be able ta find a bit of pussy as good as yours"

I moaned lowly against his neck as he pressed back in and nipped lightly. Earning no objections from him only soft grunts I proceeded to bite down hard earning a keening cry from him before his own lips attack my neck, all sharp teeth, biting and sucking. "Didn't peg you for a vampire type Filip"

"I can be whatever ya need me ta be love"

"I'll make you live to regret that one day kulta"

He laughed softly before moaning into my neck as I sucked on the skin of his exposed shoulder and clawed at the leather of his cut as he thrust up slightly. "Do that again and you might just tip me more than you expect" I whispered breathlessly against the shell of his ear before wrapping a hand through his brunette strands of hair and tugged slightly exposing his neck to me.

A shudder ripped through my body as he thrust up. "Again" I moaned lowly, the fire beginning to burn slowly at first. It built with each thrust as did my moans as he rammed me against the wall hard, lips attacking my neck and every exposed bit of flesh he could get his teeth on. _Fuck I'll have bruises tomorrow._ My head spun as I let it fall back heavily against the wall, a deep guttural almost feral moan ripping from my insides as I reached my peak.

I drew him closer, head pressed between my breasts which he gratefully accepted by lightly biting at the overly sensitive flesh through the fabric of my black tank top, his thrusts erratic and mindless as he brought himself to his own peak, his loud guttural moan stifled by my breasts as he stilled against me, chest heaving before finally looking up to me.

"I'll have ta do this again if ya pull another stunt like that"

"Is that a promise?"

"Only if ya want it ta be love" He stated pressing a gentle kiss to my swollen lips before lowering me carefully to the floor.

"Don't you have to report into Clay or something?"

"I can do that in the mornin', right now all I want ta do is spend some time with my girl"

" _Your_ girl huh? Which girl is that then? Have I met her?" I asked giving him a playful grin as I stood on shaky legs.

"I think ya have, she's about five foot ten, short shaggy mess of black hair, light tan, liquid silver eyes with a ring of gunmetal grey around the outside of them" His calloused finger tip ghosted over my jaw line.

I chuckled softly pulling my jeans up. "My eyes have been described many times but _never_ like that"

He grinned lightly. "They're unusual"

I nodded lightly. "I get that a lot, what's missing is the line that usually comes next of _'It matches your personality'_ " I stated leaning back against the wall, my knee weakening under the weight on it.

He chuckled softly before stepping back after pulling his jeans up and zipping them up quickly. I took a step and winced as my right knee buckled; Chibs caught me and hoisted me up. "What's wrong?"

"My knee, I fractured it when I was nineteen in a car accident, it's never healed properly"

He raised an eyebrow putting me on the couch. "Pills?"

I nodded. "There's a bottle on top of the fridge"

He nodded before moving off to find the mentioned bottle of pills.

"Here" Chibs threw the bottle at me and placed a glass of water on the coffee table before sitting on the floor near my middle.

" _Kiitos kulta_ "

He looked up for a second and furrowed his brow in confusion. "What?"

"Thank you" I clarified before taking two pills and settling back against the couch.

"Have ya dinner yet?"

I shook my head. "Slept most of the afternoon"

"Alright, I'll be back soon then," I watched him get up. "Any preference on take out?"

"Sweet and sour pork" I stated with a grin before he gave a nod and kissed me before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiitos kulta = Thank you darling


	19. Horse Trucks and Raw Sewage

**Horse Trucks and Raw Sewage**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I changed gears and slowed as I pulled into the Teller-Morrow driveway and headed towards the garage before pulling up and slid down from the cab.

"Hey Taru"

"Hey Sack, how's it going?"

"Good, Gemma's in the office"

I gave a nod and stepped into the office. "Trucks in front of the garage" I stated as I stepped inside.

She looked up and nodded before raising an eyebrow. "Someone eat your neck did they?"

I fingered the bruises lightly and gave her a winning grin. "Well this is what you get for sending a certain Scotsman naughty pictures"

She looked at me for a minute before we both burst out laughing. "Jax'll do the WOF as soon as he can"

I nodded settling in the chair by the door. "How's Abel doing?"

"He's getting stronger by the day"

"That's good; he'll be out of his toaster in no time"

She nodded before fanning herself. "Are you hot or is it just me?"

I raised an eyebrow. "I think it's just you"

She sighed softly fanning herself with a clipboard. "God damn its hot"

"I'm going to take a wild stab and say it's that big nasty word no woman ever likes to hear?"

She looked scandalized for a minute before nodding and standing as a commotion started outside. I glanced out the window behind me to see Clay gripping Juice around the back of the neck hard, a young woman beside him in a black tank top and bright blue shorts. Gemma narrowed her eyes watching the scene for a moment before turning to Half-Sack as he entered the office.

"Have you got the number for the septic guy?"

"Piney fill the tanks again did he?"

"That and someone's been flushing nice panties"

I cocked an eyebrow up at Gemma and I shared a glance before shrugging lightly.

"I don't even know what to say to that" She stated before handing him a card.

"You look really nice today Gemma"

I grinned lightly as she thanked him. "Maybe your porn queen friend can help? She should have some trick of the trade right?"

"Luann? Good idea, I'll go see her soon"

I nodded before hauling my ass up out of the chair. "I'll talk to you soon" I stated before stepping out of the office.

"You gonna hang around all day?"

I glanced back and nodded. "No point in leaving for now," I stated. "Plus, you know, it gives Filip some eye candy, therefore more incentive to work" I said with a grin before heading to the clubhouse to get a drink.

* * *

=Chibs' P.O.V=

"Ya should go" I stated. We'd just found out from Trammel that the Feds had a warrant to rip up the clubhouse and garage.

Taru shrugged lightly. "Can't go without the truck" She stated nodding towards it as she rolled a cigarette and placed it between her lips before lighting it.

"How's ya knee?"

"Still hurts like a bitch"

"I can take ya ta St Thomas if ya need"

She shook her head with a smile. "It'll be alright, not the first time this has happened"

I grinned sheepishly. "Ya did kind of bring it on yourself Taru what with those pics and all"

Taru grinned lightly sitting on the top of the picnic table. "Well at least you've got something to keep you occupied on a cold lonely night when I kick your sorry ass out of the house," She stated with a soft grin and massaged her knee lightly. "How's your knee doing?"

"Better, bruise is almost gone"

She nodded before looking to Juice as he came out to join us. I took a long drag on my cigarette before blowing out a ring before taking a long drink from my bottle and settled on the edge of the table next to Taru. _Should I?_ I looked over her again out the corner of my eye. _What about Fiona and Kerrianne?_ I sighed inwardly. _Do I even feel the same way about Fiona anymore? She didn't exactly try to stop Jimmy did she?_ I glanced at the Finn again and shifted slightly putting an arm around her shoulders causing her to look over, she raised an eyebrow in question and I couldn't help but grin and tip my head towards the clubhouse in question.

She shook her head lightly. "Doing that is what fucked my knee in the first place"

Jax and the others looked over us. "What's up?"

Taru looked up and shook her head. "Old injury flaring up"

"What happened?"

"Car accident at nineteen left me with a fracture to my right knee joint," She rubbed the aching joint. "Every so often it moves and stresses the fracture"

Jax grinned towards me. "Chibs give it to you good then did he?"

She grinned impishly. "Wouldn't you like to know," She stated slyly with a wink before shifting laying the leg out flat and looked to me seriously. "But seriously, no wall sex for a while"

The three others burst out chuckling.

"It's alright darlin' I'll give it ta ya easy" I stated with a wink, her cheeks flushed slightly before she smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips. _I don't think it would be possible for me to_ _ **ever**_ _give up this._


	20. Sewage and Showers

**Sewage and Showers**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I yawned lightly and hit pause on my music before standing and heading towards the front door. I put my hand up to my face as soon as I opened the door to refrain from gagging at the stench that rolled off Chibs. " _Jumalauta_ ," I stated before turning away and finally turned back and motioned to the side of the house. "Go to the back door" I stated before shutting the door and silently padding down the short hallway to the kitchen.

I opened the sliding door and put a hand up as he went to step inside. "Shoe's stay outside"

He kicked them off and looked up as I refused to let him in. "What?"

"All of it," I motioned to his clothing. "It comes off now" I stated.

"Come on Taru, its fucking freezing out here"

I shook my head. "I don't care, take it off so I can soak it in bleach or some shit, you fucking reek!"

He looked at me for a moment before slowly stripping out of his clothing grumbling as he went. "Can I come in now?" He asked holding his hands over his crotch dancing from foot to foot from the cold.

I nodded and stepped to the side. "Now go shower with bleach or something, you stink worse than a rotting deer carcass in the middle of summer"

He grinned lopsidedly leaving me to deal with the clothing. I picked it up carefully and gagged at the stench before quickly making my way across the lino floor to laundry. I pushed the door open and dumped his clothing in the washing machine after emptying his pockets and quickly tipped powder in and hit start.

I shut the laundry door over after picking up a clean set of his jeans and headed towards the bathroom. "Your shits in the washing machine" I said over the running water and left his jeans and a towel on the edge of the sink.

"Thanks love, don't know what I'd do without ya"

"You'd be stinking up the clubhouse with that god awful smell"

He chuckled looking out at me from the partly frosted glass. "Ya not goin' ta join me?"

" _After_ I find you a shirt" I stated before heading to my bedroom and started digging through my things for an old shirt that would fit him.

I headed back into the bathroom and placed a loose black tee on the pile before stripping and stepping into the shower with him.

"'Bout time"

"Why in hell's name do you smell so bad?"

"Had ta get the guns out of the tanker"

I shook my head lightly. "Gross" I murmured before handing him the soap and slowly ran my fingers over his body.

"I need ta get ta the cabin after this" He murmured turning round pulling me under the showers hot spray with him.

"Cabin?"

He nodded. "Safe house up the way, out of sight out of mind kind of thing"

I nodded and traced the soap bubbles as they ran off his body with the spray of water before looking up to his face and gently traced the lines carved into his face. "Ever going to tell me how you got your _Glasgow Smile_?"

He looked at me for a second before smiling half heartedly. "One day," He touched the scar arching down my left side from my bottom rib to the top of my hip. "Ever going to tell me about this one?"

I bit back a grin. "One day"

He gave a nod reaching up to take my hand away from his face. "What about the ones under ya ink?" He asked turning my wrists and tracing the deep slash marks across my wrists, both sets covered by the ink on my tattoos, the left ink a pair of .308 bullets in an X with a silver coin behind them and the Finnish flag waving proudly underneath with an anchor in the centre, the right ink a band of card suits with barbed wire around each side wrapped around my wrist.

"Long sad story of my history kulta, not a pretty picture to be painted"

"When is ones past _ever_ a pretty picture ta be painted?"

I gave a light nod. "Our pasts make us who we are today, we cannot let them dictate or control our futures" I murmured against his ear pressing a kiss along the line of his jaw before I tipped my head back and smiled at him.

"What?"

"When do you need to get to the cabin?"

"Soon"

I nodded before unhooking myself from him. "Alright, need any help? I'm more than capable of putting a few guns together"

"Should I even ask?"

I grinned slightly. "You haven't seen my beauty yet"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do I dare ask?"

I shrugged lightly. "You finish up here, I'll go fish her out" I stated sliding out and grabbed my clothing before heading to my bedroom. I changed quickly and began rifling through my wardrobe before pulling out a long black metal box and put it on the bed.

"So what is this beauty then?"

I grinned staring the down scope of the sniper rifle at him as he stalled looking up with wide eyes at it. "Eighteenth present from my pappa, custom made Remmy seven hundred, military grade sniper rifle" I stated lowering the gun before handing it to him.

"Jesus fucking Christ Taru," He murmured looking down to the gun in his hands before glancing up. "This could do some major damage"

I nodded. "It does," I handed him a bullet. "Good for hunting Rudolf"

"Rudolf?"

I nodded before grinning widely. "The red nose reindeer"

He chuckled softly. "Make good burger's does he?"

"Of course he does, so does Bambi"

He began laughing before looking down the barrel and scope of my rifle. "Silencer too?"

I picked it up and handed it to him. "Pappa was _all_ about guns and with Finland bordering on Russia all you have to do is outfit your car properly and you've got a gold mine"

"Sounds like you've givin' it some thought"

"I haven't always been this innocent; I was a hell raiser at one point"

"I bet ya were"

I smirked slightly and took the rifle back putting it away before storing it safely away. "It _is_ registered before you ask and I have permits for it"

He gave a nod settling on the edge of the bed. "I suppose I should get to the cabin and help the boys"

I gave a light nod. "Alright, I'll see you when I see you next"

He nodded giving me a tight hug and kiss before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jumalauta = God damn it


	21. Alsatian's, Finn's and Scotsmen

**Alsatian's, Finn's and Scotsmen**

=Taru's P.O.V=

The tyres of my Charger squealed as I pulled into the Teller-Morrow forecourt, the front end dipping as I hit the brakes. I killed the engine quickly and picked up the bundle on the passenger's seat before stepping out. I looked to Gemma as she made her way over.

"What's that?"

"Puppy, only a few days old by the looks of it, he's almost stone cold"

She furrowed her brow unfolding part of my hoodie to see the small wrinkly bundle that was in fact a very young little puppy, eyes still closed tight, breathing labored. "Sit in the clubhouse; I'll fetch a hot water bottle and some blankets"

I glanced over my shoulder. "Sack!"

Half-Sack turned to me. "What is it?" He called.

"Park my Charger for me, keys are on the dash" I stated jerking my head towards my Charger before following Gemma into the clubhouse.

I took a seat on one of the threadbare couches and cradled the puppy to me trying to keep him warm.

"Where did you find him?"

"I was following a rusted old red Ute along forty four, they slowed down and threw a bundle out the window before speeding off," I looked to the puppy. "There were six others, all dead, guess they thought he was a goner too"

Gemma handed me the hot water bottle and a Harley blanket before settling down next to me on the couch and shook her head. "Poor little thing, I'll send Sack out to get some supplies for you"

I nodded as she stood. "Is Juice here?"

"I'll send him in"

I nodded my thanks and tucked the puppy into my hoodie after I pulled it on, hot water bottle against my chest then the puppy, the hoodie was wrapped tight around us both and finally the blanket over the top. I furrowed my brow looking down at the scrawny little thing and finally looked up at Juice as he walked in wiping his hands on an oil stained rag.

"Gemma said you needed me, what's that?"

"Puppy"

He sat down next to me and looked at the puppy. "Looks young"

"He shouldn't even be away the bitch yet," I stated before taking his hand and flipping it over before scrawling out a number plate onto his wrist where the least amount of grease was. "Run that plate for me, I want to know where this fucker lives"

He nodded before standing and making his way over to his _'office'_. "What are you gonna do with him?" I looked up in question before he nodded to the pup bundled up under the blanket and my hoodie. "The puppy I mean"

"Don't know yet, if he survives I might keep him" I said looking down to the defenseless puppy before he whimpered and shivered slightly.

I looked at Gemma as she came back in and sat down. "The Prospects gone to get some milk stuff to mix up and some syringes to feed him with"

_"Kiitos"_

She nodded looking at the puppy before smiling slightly. "What're you doing to do to the guy when you find him?" Her tone was serious, apparently the all mighty queen did in fact have a soft side and didn't like people hurting defenseless animals either.

I shrugged lightly. "I'll make it up as I go along probably," I stated. "Some of my best plans come from winging it," I stated before shaking my head lightly. "I don't know how people can do this to an animal, you never beat an animal, let alone one that can't actually defend itself" I said quietly before shifting to sit cross legged on the couch.

"Found him," Juice stated before heading towards us with a sheet of paper. "Guys a Nord, Justin Smith, lives out by the streams"

I gave a nod taking the sheet of paper from him before ran my eyes over it taking it in quickly. _"Kiitos_ Juice" I said, my mind running over everything I was _capable_ of doing to this guy. _If he's a Nord means shit'll fly if Darby finds out._

He nodded. "If you want some back up I'll tag along"

I looked up at him for a second. "I'll be alright, won't be the first asshole I've beat the shit out of and it sure as hell won't be the last" I stated before the puppy in my arms whined lowly.

"If he's a Nord tread carefully, last thing the club needs right now is Darby knocking on the door"

I look to Gemma and nodded. "I know, I'm thinking it over, he can either disappear forever or it can be an accident, I'm still deciding"

She looked at me, lips quirked in a smirk with an eyebrow cock up slightly before shaking her head. "You're really to good at hiding that _crazy Finnish bitch_ side of you"

I felt a grin sweep over my lips before looking to the pup as he whimpered obviously looking for his mother.

* * *

"What're you two doing in here? Something happened?" Clay asked as he came in with the others in tow.

Gemma and I had been sitting talking and drinking for the past hour or so, the puppy in my arms was comfortable and quiet apart from the odd whine.

"What's that?" Chibs asked as he came to the edge of the couch and pulled back the blanket. "Is that a pup?"

I nodded. "He got thrown out of a car window into a ditch off forty four"

"He looks young"

"He is" I stated and pulled the blanket back up.

"Did ya get the plates?"

"The gift and curse of an eidetic memory remember," I grinned up at him. "I miss _nothing,_ " I stated. "Juice ran the plates for me"

"Ya not goin' alone are ya?"

I shook my head. "No"

He snorted. "I'll believe that when pigs fly"

"Well then your ass must be pretty sore since they'll be flying out of it in a minute," I stated before Half-Sack came walking in. "Hey Prospect"

He looked up startled and nodded. "Yeah?"

"Want to come beat the shit out of some whitey piece of crap with me?"

He looked at me then to Chibs and then back to me before nodding. "Sure, let me grab my kutte"

I gave a nod and unfolded my legs groaning softly as my knees clicked loudly.

"He gonna be alright?" Gemma asked nodding to the bundle in my arms.

"He should be fine until I get back, I'm sure Filip won't mind sharing his room for a while" I grinned at Chibs and headed towards his bedroom leaving the puppy in a bundle on his bed before coming back into the main room.

"Ready?"

Half-Sack nodded slinging his cut on and I grinned lightly before Chibs pressed a Beretta into my hands. "Be careful"

I pushed the gun away. "I've already got one in the glove box, better one than that too" I stated before heading out after giving him a light kiss to the lips earning a bunch of whistles from the boys.

"Hey, where's my goodbye kiss?" Tig called.

"Sorry Tigger, maybe next time" I called over my shoulder before heading out the door to the forecourt with Half-Sack in tow.

"Ya keep her safe Prospect or I'll gut ya myself" I grinned slightly hearing Chibs' departing words to Half-Sack before the door shut behind us.

* * *

I pulled up and killed my engine, Half-Sack pulled up next to me and looked into the open window at me as I cased the joint silently, cages were at the back of the property housing howling dogs. I glanced up at Half-Sack. "You stay back unless I _need_ your help, got it?"

He gave a nod. "Alright," His eyes swept over the house. "Got a plan?"

I shrugged lightly as I stepped out and nudged my door shut with my hip as I checked the chamber of my Desert Eagle before tucking it into the back of my jeans. "Wing it" I stated with a grin before heading up the drive to the kennels at the back of the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiitos = Thank you


	22. When Dogs Attack

**When Dogs Attack**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I stepped into the clubhouse, it was buzz of excitement around the bar as everyone was talking and listening to Half-Sack talk as they drank.

"Dude you should have totally been there," Sack had a bright grin on his face. "One of the dogs was going all mental and shit on the guy," I slowly started pulling off my gloves and tucked them into my back pocket as I listened to him. "I'm serious, Taru just waltz' on over, gives it a look and it just lay down and rolled onto it's back for her," He was laughing, obviously retelling the story of what had gone down when Taru had found the guy. "Then she turns to the guy who's yellin' at her and gettin' all pissed off at her," He burst out laughing. "You should have seen the shiner she left on his eye, dropped him to the ground with a single hit and kicked the shit out of him," He mimicked punches and kicks. "After breaking a few ribs she spat at him and told him he shouldn't be raggin' on a dog when it's tied up and defenseless," Everyone at the bar was listening to the story intently. "Then," He took a breath as he began laughing. "Then she let the dog loose on him" He burst out into a fit of untamable laughter.

"Are we talkin' about my Finn here?"

Half-Sack looked up and nodded. "The guy had the dog tied up and muzzled while he was raggin' on it" He explained.

"You don't beat children and you sure as hell don't beat an animal that can't defend itself" Taru was leaning against the hallway entrance as she lit a cigarette; knuckles bruised and cut up, dried flecks of blood across them. She pushed herself off the wall and started towards the bar, her movements slow, a slight limp in her step.

"What'd ya do with the dogs?"

"Gave them to Elliot for the mill yard and for his trucking yard" She stated before taking a beer from Half-Sack.

"Free?"

A light smirk slipped to her lips as she shook her head and dropped a brick of cash on the counter and pushed it to Clay. "Present for the club" She stated before taking her beer and turned towards the bedroom, her movements sluggish.

"You serious?"

"Yeah, put it towards your next shipment, run or whatever" She called over her shoulder as she turned up the hallway.

* * *

I stepped into the bedroom, a party in full swing in the clubhouse. Taru blinked at me, one arm tucked behind her head the other idly pulling at a thread in the edge of the blanket, the puppy rested on her chest with the blanket pulled up over the both of them.

"Ya ok?"

"I can feel a migraine coming on" She stated pressing her fingers to her temple.

"Want some pills?"

She nodded before stroking the sleeping puppy lightly.

I handed her some pills and a glass of water before settling on the bed next to her. "Goin' ta stay here tonight?"

"Sure, only if you want me too"

I nodded brushing a loose strand away from her face and placed a gentle kiss to her lips before checking her knuckles and shook my head slightly standing and grabbing the emergency medical kit stashed under my bed. "Ya didn't clean them up did ya?" I flipped open the kit and started to sift through it's contents, in all honesty it was pretty pitiful, I hadn't gotten round to replacing nearly half it's content from the last time I'd used it to patch up Tig's sorry ass.

She looked to her knuckles and flexed her hand slightly before shrugging lightly. "Too tired to care right now"

I took her hand and grabbed the bottle of vodka I'd bought with me carefully dabbed the cuts with cotton wool soaked in the spirit. She winced slightly before handing me her other hand to do the same thing. "Should heal in a few days," She gave a light nod and winced at the thudding of the music. "Headache still?"

"I get bad migraines," She looked over at me before smiling tiredly. "Sweats, killer headaches, shakes, nose bleeds, sensitivity to just about everything, vomiting, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera," She frowned slightly putting a hand up to her temple. "My last one made me want to kill myself," She explained casually. "Usually I just coop myself up in the dark under the covers and say to hell to the world for a few days until I feel better"

I nodded putting the kit away before laying next to her. "What're ya gonna do with him?"

"Keep him"

"Name?"

She shrugged lightly. "It'll come to me in time" She smiled rubbing the puppies head before shifting him to the bed between us. She rose slowly and made a quick bed in one of the drawers of my chest of drawers and placed him in it before curling up on the bed.

"Go have fun at the party; I'll be in here sleeping"

I looked to her as she smiled and gave a nod. "Alrigh'"

"No ass though"

"The only ass I want is _your_ ass" I stated before she sat up and stopped me from leaving.

"You know I don't care who you fuck right?"

I furrowed my brow slightly. _What is she going on about?_

"Let me clarify, I don't care who you fuck as long as you come back to my bed in the end"

I watched her for a minute to see if she was serious. "Ya serious ain't ya?"

She nodded. "As long as you come back to me you've got free rein and as long as it doesn't come back to bite either of us in the ass I have no complaints"

"Good ta know that ya trust me that much love"

She looked at me seriously for a minute. "I don't stake a claim in you Filip, I don't even know what _this_ is" She stated motioning between us before looking to me for an answer.

"I don't really know either darlin' but I know ya not just another piece of ass ta me, ya _more_ than that, ya _deserve_ ta be more than that"

She nodded lightly before tipping her head towards the door. "Now go have fun, get drunk and shoot some pool with the boys," She grinned weakly. "Kick some Tiggy ass for me"

I chuckled softly. "I'll wait until ya feel up ta watchin' a fight before I get in the ring for ya"

She nodded before lying back down and curled up under the blanket.

I pulled the door shut and rested my head against it before sighing deeply. _I gotta do it. I gotta ask her. I can't put it off any longer; she_ _ **has**_ _to be mine and_ _ **no one**_ _else's._ I turned away from the door slowly and headed up the hall towards the party. _I should ask Gemma's help; she's always got an answer._ I stalled looking at John's bike. _I can't see Clay having a problem with me taking her on as my old lady. She gets on well enough with everyone and she's willing to get dirty._ I sighed lightly and headed towards the party after casting a glance back towards my bedroom where she would be laying trying to get to sleep.


	23. Pot Shots and Old Ladies

**Pot Shots and Old Ladies**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I sighed softly, my headache had passed in the night and I'd awoken to find myself wrapped protectively in Chibs' arms.

"Do ya really have ta leave?"

I nodded as I pulled on his one of his shirts. "I need to get to the track"

He grumbled softly before eyeing me in his shirt. "That looks good on ya, would look better on the floor though"

I gave him a cocky smile. "Well maybe later it can join the _rest_ of your clothing on the floor" I stated nodding to the mess of clothing on the floor that made it look more like a teenagers bedroom than that of a grown Scotsman. I gathering my things quickly searching through the clothing for my hoodie before turning my nose up at the smell it had acquired from being tucked under all the dirty laundry.

"Leave the pup here, gives ya more incentive ta come back after work for some fun"

I rolled my eyes and leant over the bed kissing him quickly. "I'll see you later"

He yawned and nodded. "See ya later love"

I turned quickly and hurried out after saying goodbye to the sock drawer pup and headed out to my Charger to head to the track.

* * *

"Marcis called in sick, something about too much curried chicken, or something along those lines, last night," Elliot explained as I walked beside him checking on the horses. "Want to exercise the horses this morning?"

I grinned and nodded excitedly. "Hell yes" I was itching to get in the saddle again and ride at a gallop.

"Great, Marcis was going to be riding Lucky, Grace, Cannon and Jewel this morning"

I gave a nod before leaving him to find Maria as I began to saddle Jewel up. The deep chocolate brown mare snorted and rocked back and forth slightly as I tacked up, the morning had a cold bite to it so everyone was rugged up warmer than usual except the track work riders that had to work in their shirts, safety vests, jods, boots and windbreakers. I shrugged off my jacket and dumped it in my Charger before locking up and pulling a black windbreaker on over my safety vest.

I took Jewel's reins from Maria and swung up onto her back settling in her saddle before adjusting my stirrups and helmet. We headed for the track entrance and waited for a few stray gallopers to pass before heading towards the inside ring to warm up.

After a few laps of warming up we hit the track, it would be a short burst from one marker to another. The mare underneath me snorted and collected herself in well, she galloped straight and true like she did every morning she was at the track, her strides long and fast as she chewed up the track between markers easily.

I felt Jewel stumble and began to slow her until I heard the quick succession of shots ring out, my mind dipped into a spiral as I tried to kick myself free of the falling mare, my feet free of the stirrups as I hit the sand of the track, head connecting roughly with the ground causing me to see spots. My mind barely registered the pain until Jewel's body fell still, her dead weight crushing my pinned leg. I struggled briefly, pain flaring all over my body as the sky began to darken. _What the hell happened? What's going on? Why can't I move? Why isn't Jewel moving?_ The questions circled through my brain, the voices and sounds of people running and yelling were fading away as was the sky.

* * *

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I yawned rubbing at my eyes under my glasses before readjusting them just in time to see Unser's police car rolling into the Teller-Morrow drive. _This can't be good._ "Prospect, fetch Clay and the others" I stated.

They filed out of the clubhouse and waited as Unser made his way over. "What is it?"

"Investigating a shooting, thought it might have been someone trying to take out Oswald's horses until I caught wind that the rider was the Finn who's been hangin' about with your Scotsman"

I felt my heart constrict. _Taru? I hope to hell she's ok._ "What happened? Is Taru ok?"

"She at St Thomas gettin' patched up; I talked to Oswald and everyone else at the track, no suspects so far"

"Who the hell would want to kill the Finn?" Clay's eyes landed on me.

"I have no idea"

"You and Tig go see her, talk to her if she's awake and bring her back here"

I nodded not needing to be told twice as I made my way over to my Harley and kitted up quickly before we hit the road.

* * *

"Chibs, Tig" Tara greeted us with a look of surprise.

"Hey doc, what's the word on the delightful Finn?"

"Taru? She'll be alright, deep bullet graze to her ribs, a few fractured ribs, twisted ankle and a refracture to her knee. It could have been a lot worse"

"She's goin' ta hate bein' laid up and unable ta work"

"I bet she will, she's awake now if you want to see her"

"Can she leave yet?"

Tara looked to her charts. "Her injuries aren't _too_ severe so I'll see what I can do" She stated before taking us to the Finn's room.

I looked to Taru; she was sat up in the bed, a stitched cut to her temple and a smile gracing her lips as she saw us come in. "Hey"

"Jesus fuckin' Christ Taru, ya had me worried"

"Take's more than this to take me down" She said with a laugh before wincing and gripping her ribs.

"Clay wants ya ta stay at the clubhouse until we find out what's goin' on"

She looked up slightly puzzled before shaking her head. "Whoever shot at me was after the horse, not me"

"How do you work that out?"

She looked at him deadpan. "Trust me Tig, anyone after me wouldn't miss, the bullet would have hit me in the skull, not glanced off my ribs"

"You sure?"

She nodded and winced slightly. "When can I leave?"

"Tara's findin' that out now for ya" I settled on the edge of the bed and reached out running a finger lightly over the stitches, she smiled slightly leaning into my touch. _I have to do it, I can't wait any longer._ I glanced up to Tig and looked towards the door. He glanced towards it before looking back at the two of us and nodded.

"I'll be back in a minute"

Taru looked up at him and nodded before turning her attention back to me. "What's up?"

I smiled lightly taking her in for a moment before pushing a loose strand of hair back from her face, my fingers lingering on the edge of her jaw as I memorized ever inch of her face. "I've fallin' for ya Taru, I can't deny it anymore," I stated softly. "I want ta put my crow on ya," I said before running my finger towards her chin tracing the line of her bruised jaw. "I want ya ta be my old lady"

Her lips quirked in a light smile. "I'm not gonna be an old lady that sits down and lets you handle my problems when I'm more than capable of doing it myself"

"I wouldn't expecting anythin' less from ya"

She shifted and winced before releasing a low hiss through her teeth. "Just so long as that's clear"

I gave a light nod. "I know ya not a piece of property ta be owned Taru, ya wild and free like an untamable mustang," She smiled lightly chuckling softly. "And I wouldn't change ya for anythin' in the world"

"I don't want you to hide things from me Filip," She was serious. "The only way this will work is if we're honest with each other from this point forward, that means no more hiding behind this _Club business_ shit"

I gave a nod. "Alrigh', I'll be as honest as I can with ya"

She gave a nod before Tara came in Tig in tow. "I pulled some strings, you can leave after you sign some papers and promise you won't over do it"

Taru put her right hand up. "Right hand to god I won't overdo it, I don't think these two would let me anyway" She stated nodding her head towards Tig and I.

"Good, keep your feet up and rest, I'll be back with your crutches in a minute" Tara handed her a board and left to get Taru some crutches.

"We can stop by ya place and get some stuff for ya"

She nodded signing the pages. "Alright," She pushed back the covers; the thin hospital gown had ridden up showing the thick white gauze bandage around her knee and the bruise arching up from underneath it. "Mind giving me some privacy Tig?"

He turned away and pulled the curtain around the bed before Taru stood keeping all of her weight off her injured knee. "The ribs I can live with but the knee is going to be a bitch" She stated as she sat on the edge of the bed to pull on her pair of ruined jeans and the rest of her clothing.

"Ya can change when we get some stuff for ya" I said waiting as she ripped the rest of the cut pant leg off leaving her with one long one and one short one.

"What about my Charger?"

"Jax and the Prospect are towin' it into TM for ya"

She nodded and winced slightly taking a deep breath. "How's Buster?"

"Buster?"

"The pup"

"He's still sleepin', Juice's been takin' care of him all mornin' for ya"

She smiled lightly and looked to the ruined windbreaker before binning it. I shrugged off my kutte and yanked my hoodie over my head before handing it to her and replaced my kutte. She smiled gratefully and pulled it on with a soft grunt on pain before Tara pushed the curtain back and held out a set of metal crutches.

 _This is gonna spell hell._ Taru's eyes lit up from behind as she took the crutches and stood putting weight onto them before grinning impishly.

"Alright, this is a 'script for some pain medication and antibiotics, I'll come check on you in a few days and see how you are ok?"

Taru nodded and gave a grin. "Thank you Tara"

"No problem, just take it real easy, the fracture could still get worse"

"Getting worse would a god send I could finally get the joint replaced" She stated before heading towards the door.

"Make sure she doesn't overdo it Chibs, no riding or strenuous work with the horses, very light duties only"

"Ya got my word on it doc"

She nodded before I made my way out after Taru and Tig; I stopped them in the hall and handed the crutches to Tig before scooping her up in my arms and frowning lightly at how light she was. "What're you doing?"

"A lady of ya exquisite tastes shouldn't be walkin' love"

"My taste can't be that exquisite if I'm willing to be seen with you"

I feigned hurt. "Don't say things like that darlin' you'll hurt my feelin's"

She gave me a sly grin. "Well maybe I can make it up to you later then" She stated pressing a feather light kiss to my cheek.

"Alright love birds you're makin' me ill, save it for the bedroom and let's go already" Tig stated as we walked out the front doors.


	24. Unlucky Bastard

**Unlucky Bastard**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I cradled Taru in my arms as we lay on the bed, her steady breathing signaled she'd long since fallen to sleep, the runt she'd called Buster was asleep between us keeping warm, blanket pulled up to our middles.

I looked to the Finn beside me; she was more than I could have ever asked, in some small way she reminded me of Fiona when we'd first met, so strong and willing to get dirty for the right reasons, willing to stand up for what she believe in. I traced the inked dagger along her left bicep, the muscles underneath twitching slightly as I traced the rose wrapped around it before slowly moving down to her forearm to her fingers, her middle finger tattooed with a small golden horseshoe just below her knuckle, her inner forearm inked with 'Learn to love the highest sinner'. _I need to question her about that one day._ She twitched slightly; face contorting in pain as she shifted.

She sure as hell didn't look very strong when you looked at her, her body was lithe, limbs long and well defined, toned to perfection from years of hard work, skin lightly tanned from the sun, it was a body that was worked for not bought and paid for, a body she'd put time and effort into at one point to make herself look good, she wore her scars with pride, she was comfortable in her own skin. I pressed a kiss to her temple and took in the scar down her lip. _There must be some sort of story to go with that gouge._ I ran my finger over it gently pulling her lip down slightly with it, it was a deep scar that started on the edge of the inside of her lip and slid down to stop just under her lip where the skin of her lip met her chin.

Buster whimpered softly crying out for his mother, his body wriggling between us as he whimpered and whined again. This time Taru shifted out of my grip and groaned lowly flicking her eyes open looking to the pup before slowly propping herself up and stroking him as she yawned. "Mind warming up a cup of the milk stuff for him?" The Finnish accent lacing her words was always thicker, more husky when she woke, it was just one of the many things I loved about her.

I nodded slowly untangling myself from her and slid from the bed before mixing up the milk powder. Taru straightened up and stood uneasily testing the weight on her knee. I watched her for a second before sighing softly. _What would you say if I told you I killed a man for you tonight?_ I put the cup in the microwave and hit start before leaning back against the table it was sat on. _I have to tell her eventually, I promised I'd tell her everything._

The pup on the bed whined several times wriggling around on the mattress before stopping and starting again as I took a seat on the edge of the bed. I put my head in my hands, the memory fresh in my mind, it had been the one thing keeping me awake since I'd come back.

_I sat astride my Harley, Tig on my left as we waited for the right guy to come out of the building. I had pushed to be the one to do this, I_ _**wanted** _ _to make this guy bleed, he'd almost killed Taru and now I was going to kill him._

" _You alright brother?"_

_I nodded. "I'm goin' ta make this arsehole bleed"_

" _Good, he damn well deserves it"_

_I glanced at Tig, both he and Taru had gotten closer as friends, they teased the shit out of each other some days, other days they could be at each other's throats or just generally annoying the other with little things but they always ended up laughing and joking about it later on. I nodded towards the door as a muscled brunette came walking out with a girl under his arm. "That's him"_

" _I'll get rid of his girl; you draw him to the lot"_

_I nodded sliding off my Harley and headed towards the couple, Tig in tow. I landed a hard punch to the guys face before taking off in the other direction, running footsteps followed me. The woman's screams were muffled by Tig as I turned and ran into the deserted overgrown lot._

" _Come back here asshole!"_

 _I ducked behind a burnt out wreck of a car and glanced up to see what he was doing. The brunette was stalking forward cautiously looking left and right, I rounded the side of the car quickly and grabbed a metal pipe from the ground._ No one hurts my old lady and gets away with it. _I aimed low at the backs of his knees and watched him drop with a howl of pain. "Why were ya taking shots at the track this morning?"_

_He rolled onto his back staring up at me. "Who the hell are you?"_

_I swung again. "Answer the goddamn question"_

" _Fuck!" He clutched his knee and rolled around in pain. "Fuck you asshole"_

_I swung again connecting with his exposed side. "Answer my fuckin' question!"_

" _Alright, alright! I was paid to take shots at Oswald's horses, Hunter Jackson, he… he paid me"_

" _What about the rider?"_

" _What about the rider? I was only paid to kill the horses, anyone that got in the way, got in the way"_

_I slammed the pipe hard against his hip. "That rider that ya damn near killed was_ _**my** _ _old lady! Ya damn near killed her!" I swung again putting my frustration and anger behind the hit._

" _Honest to god man! I was only paid to kill the horses" He was crying from the pain as I landed another hit before dropping the pipe and laying into him with my fists._

" _Bitch is gone," Tig stated before looking to the guy on the ground as I stood up. "What'd he say?"_

"H _e was only paid ta take shots at the horses, guy named Hunter Jackson"_

_Tig nodded looking at him; the look in his eyes was pure unbridled hate. "What're you going to do with him now?"_

_I looked at him. "What do ya think brother? He damn near killed Taru, ya think I'm goin' ta let that slide?"_

_He looked at me and then at the guy on the ground. "Have at him, he deserves all of it" He spat into the guys face before lighting a cigarette as I pulled a Beretta from the back of my jeans and checked the clip before loading one in the chamber._

" _Please dude, you don't need to do this, I'll do anything you want, I won't tell anyone what went down" He was pleading for his life now._

" _Ya damn near killed my old lady and ya think I'm just gonna let ya walk away?" I snarled grabbing the collar of his shirt. "The horse could have crushed her ta death…"_

" _I wasn't aiming for the rider! I was only aiming for the horses; I swear to god man, I didn't mean to hit your woman"_

_I shook my head lightly and slammed my forehead against his before dropping him back to the ground and putting a round through his skull._

_I wiped the trickle of blood away from my forehead and nodded to Tig who gathered the pipe. "Get back to Finland, I'll clean this shit up"_

I jumped slightly as Taru sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped a hand around mine. "You ok?"

I looked to her and sighed softly, a look of concern in her eyes. "I have somethin' ta tell ya"

She nodded lacing her fingers through mine. "What is it?"

"I killed a man for ya tonight," She tensed slightly and blinked but didn't say anything. "The guy that took shots while ya were on the track, I beat him and put a bullet through his skull"

Silence fell over us, behind her eyes she was processing everything I'd said. The microwave dinged and she looked at it before looking back at me. "On some level that's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me" She said softly.

I glanced up quickly to see if she was serious. "Ya not serious are ya?"

She nodded. "Niko might have been a romantic but he only stuck to flowers, gifts and surprise dinners, you," She squeezed my hand lightly. "You are a whole other ball game, you _killed_ someone for me"

"He hurt ya Taru, _no one's_ ever gonna hurt ya again while ya _my_ old lady"

A smile ghosted over her lips as she stood and grabbed the mug testing the temperature before grabbing one of the larger syringes to feed Buster. "Thank you"

I looked to her and pulled her into a tight hug. "Ya don't have ta thank me Taru, I love ya and I'd lay my life down for ya without question"

She nodded lightly filling the syringe after I released her. "Want to grab me a drink?"

I stood. "What do ya want?"

"Coffee"

I nodded and headed out to the kitchen beside the bar to make her a cup of the black swill she was able to drink.


	25. Stars and Pickups

**Stars and Pickups**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I lay back on the blanket spread across the tray of my recently bought Pickup and sighed softly, one arm tucked behind my head. I'd been stuck the graveyard shift for foal watch, Elliot had finally let me come back to work after a week but I was stuck with light duties, mostly desk work, cleaning tack, mixing feeds and generally tidying up.

The night air had a light chill in it; the stars dotting the sky in random patches, the only sounds were the mares grazing and the occasional whinny from further down the farm. I glanced at my phone and sighed softly, only 4 more hours of foal watch then I could head back to the clubhouse and curl up into a ball with Chibs.

I placed the phone back down and shifted slightly drawing my uninjured knee up before I heard the crunch of boots on gravel. I instinctively reached for the desert eagle I'd come accustom to carrying and checked the clip before sitting up and looking around at the darkened landscape. I watched the lone figure making its way towards me and smiled lightly as they drew closer letting me see who it was.

"What're you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come spend some time with ya"

I gave a nod as Chibs jumped up onto the tray with me and settled down. "How's Buster?"

"Half-Sack is takin' care of him"

I nodded before furrowing my brow slightly. "How'd you get in? I locked the gates after I came in"

He grinned slightly. "I'm not that old yet darlin' I can still jump fences"

I gave a light nod and moved closer before curling into him. "I've got four hours before Marcis comes in to take over"

"Alrigh'" He laid back and pulled me with him before shifting to face me on his side. "Tell me about ya scar" He ran his finger over the scar to my lip.

I sighed softly. _I knew this would come up._ "If I tell you about this then you have to tell me about something from your history"

He gave a nod. "Alrigh'"

I propped my head up on my hand and looked into his eyes. "I gained it in the middle of a bar brawl in downtown Helsinki when I was sixteen"

"There must be more ta the story than that"

"I'll tell you _after_ you tell me something"

He twisted his lips slightly. "I was born in the ghetto's of Glasgow and grew up on the streets of Belfast before I joined the Irish cause"

"The IRA?"

" _True_ IRA"

I nodded before pressing a light kiss to his lips. "It was mid march, some friends and I went out for drinks to celebrate one of them getting a new job. I was at the bar getting a drink and some jerk off shoved me from behind," I grinned softly. "Words were said and one thing led to another and we ended up in the car park beating the shit out of each other," I touched the scar and smiled slightly. "He had rings on, gouged out a chunk of my lip with an upper cut"

He gave a nod and touched the scar. "There's more ta this story it isn't there?"

I nodded slightly. "After he was done laughing about it some very handsome stranger stepped in, started telling him he shouldn't be hitting a _lady_ ," I grinned. "Can you imagine that? Me a _lady_?" I chuckled softly. "Any who getting back on track now, he jumped in and started fighting for me until I shoved him out the way and finished the prick off myself," Chibs gave a nod, a slight crease in his brow. "After the fight we patched each other up before heading back to his place to play a more _intimate_ version of doctors and nurses," I chuckled softly. "The guy that stepped in for me, that handsome stranger was Niko" I looked away finally, my heart aching for the loss.

"Ya met in the middle of a bar brawl?"

I nodded. "Five months after that I did my six month stint in boot camp and a month after I finished we got hitched"

"What about ya son?"

"Born about eight months or so afterwards," I stated before shifting and standing. I grabbed my crutches and a torch before looking back at him. "Want to come for a walk?"

Chibs stood and fell into step beside me as we headed towards the paddocks. "How long until ya knee's better?"

"Couple of months probably"

He nodded and stalled motioning to one of the mares. "Is she alrigh'?"

I stalled looking to the mare; she was lying on her side heaving, a new born foal lying in the grass behind her. I looked to Chibs and grinned before nodding. "Look behind her"

He leant against the fence beside me. "Oh that's just nasty" He stated pulling a face.

I rolled my eyes shoving him slightly. "That's the joys of birth for you"

He chuckled before shaking his head.

I grinned slightly and pulled out my phone and hit record as she stood and turned to start nudging her foal.

"What're ya doin'?"

"First foal of the season," I stated before watching the foal struggle to its feet after a few minutes. I glanced to Chibs who'd fallen silent watching the mare and foal, a look on pain on his face. "What is it?" I asked as worry set in that I'd said something as I quickly racked my brains for what it could have been.

He glanced over and shook his head. "Nothin'"

"Don't lie to me kulta, I can see it in your face"

He lowered his head for a second. "I haven't been completely honest with ya"

My stomach dropped. _I don't like where this is heading._ "What do you mean?"

"I've got a daughter"

"You do?" _That_ surprised me, he didn't act like the father type of guy.

He nodded. "She's in Ireland with her mother"

"Your ex?"

He nodded again. "I haven't seen them in years," He touched the scars to his face idly. "The bastard that gave me these took them from me"

I frowned softly and leant up touching the _Glasgow Smile_ forever etched into his skin. "Do you have any contact with them?"

He shook his head. "Can't, he'd killed them and me if I tried"

I furrowed my brow and pulled him into a hug. "You'll see them again one day, you killed for me and I'm only your old lady, this is your daughter, I can't see much of a future for this guy"

We stood embracing under the stars until a chestnut head was forced between us. I smiled slightly gave the mare a scratch before placing a kiss to Chibs' lips.

"Ya the light of my life Taru, I don't know what I'd do without ya"

* * *

I felt arms around my waist as Chibs lifted me onto the edge of the Pickup tray before leaning in. "Ya look damn beautiful under this light darlin'"

I shook my head slightly and laughed. "Flattery _won't_ get you into my pants Filip"

He pouted kissing me before pressing himself against me. "I can try can't I?"

I yelped out and quickly shoved him backwards before spitting several filthy Finnish words at him that would have made him blush if he'd understood them.

"What'd I do now?"

"My knee," I spat holding it in pain. "You crushed it against the fucking gate" I bit back tears and let out another string of Finnish curses before releasing a few calming breath's.

"I'm sorry darlin'"

"Just shut up," I snapped before grabbing the front of his cut and yanked him forward. "And kiss me already"

"Gladly" He stated before our lips collided.


	26. Confessions in Blood

**Confessions in Blood**

=Taru's P.O.V=

The last thing I'd expected was to be woken by Gemma; within her rushed words I'd heard _help…Irishman…Chibs…Bullet…Juice…_ and _blood._ I groaned lowly slowly rising out of the warm bed and yanked on a pair of dirty jeans over the top of my boy shorts underwear and yanked one of Chibs' random hoodies on before following her in bare feet to the Chapel.

"Do I even _want_ to know?" I yawned and rounded the table before leaning heavily on my crutches as I surveyed the damage.

"Two slugs in his arse," He nodded to the guy. "Give him some more whiskey"

I moved to the guys head and grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the way. "Here" I tipped it to his lips and pulled it away after he'd drunken a bit.

"Ya not Irish are ya love?"

"Finnish through and through" I stated putting the bottle down.

"What's ya name?"

"Taru"

"Taru? I'm Cameron"

"Nice to meet you Cameron" I stated before looking to Chibs.

"Find me some bloody supplies," He snapped at Juice and beckoned me over before nodding towards the towel. "Clean up some of this blood would ya love"

I took the towel wiping the blood away so he could see what he was doing. "How deep are they?"

"Can't tell, can't find them," I wiped away more blood and handed him the pliers. "Whiskey"

I grabbed the bottle after giving Cameron another mouthful before reaching over the table to give some to Chibs.

"Pour some on the wound too" He stated before Juice came back in.

I did as he told me to and wiped at the wound carefully.

"This is all I could find" Juice stated and dumped the supplies on the cleanest part of the table.

"Shit, hopefully Jackie boy gets back here soon" He stated whilst digging around in the wound track for the bullet.

* * *

"Get another bottle of Whiskey would ya"

Juice nodded leaving the room as Chibs stopped fishing for the bullet and moved around the table towards me.

"Want to explain _how_ he got two bullets in his ass?" I asked nodding my head towards Cameron.

"Mayan's went after Clay, those two slugs were meant for his head," I gave a nod watching him clean his hands on a towel before looking over at me. "Ya not fazed by blood?"

I moved my eyes up to his. "Seen enough of it in my life time, stitched up enough paddock wounds to have learnt a thing or two"

He nodded lightly before taking the bottle of whiskey and cracked it open. "Here" He tipped some into my mouth before taking a swig and poured some more onto the wound.

"Infection's setting in" I stated watching Cameron pass out for the umpteenth time.

"Aye, he could have sepsis too"

I looked up to Chibs and then down at my own blood covered hands. I froze slightly remembering how the last time my hands had been covered in this much blood was when Niko had died. I took the towel and began cleaning my hands; there was little that could be done until the proper supplies arrived.

"How'd you get to be a back room surgeon?" I asked out of curiosity as he began to fish around for the bullet again.

"Five month in her majesty armed forces as a medic"

"Five months?"

"I was court marshaled"

I grinned softly. "Figures" I stated before he grinned.

"Found it!"

I poured some more whiskey over the wound and watched his he worked. _He really puts his mind to his work._ I felt a smile twitch at my lips until he pulled the bullet free, a torrent of blood spraying out from the wound.

"Jesus! Shit, shit, shit," He grabbed Juice's hand and rammed his finger into the wound. "Hold it there"

I looked up as Tig and Gemma ran in and looked to the scene before them. "What happened?"

"We got one slug out" Chibs stated holding up the bullet he'd pulled out with the pliers.

"This is insane"

"What're we gonna do?"

Chibs looked to Juice. "Just keep ya finger in his arse," He stated before looking up to Gemma. "This is way beyond my wheelhouse," He moved his eyes from Gemma to Tig and back again. "This is way beyond it!" He snapped before Gemma strode out in anger.

I sighed softly taking a long drink of whiskey. _Never a_ _ **normal**_ _day is there? Always some shit gotta go wrong._

"There's not much else we can do," He looked to me and nodded his head towards the door. "Come on, let's go cleanup"

I nodded and headed towards the door with him.

* * *

I stood in the bathroom with Chibs, the sink filled with bloody water, the floor sounding us littered with tiny droplets of blood.

"Are ya alrigh'?"

I looked up and nodded slightly. "Fine, just remembering a time in my life I wish I hadn't" I stated before placing both hands under the water to begin scrubbing the blood away.

"Here," He handed me a bar of soap and nail brush. "It should help"

I nodded a thanks and sighed softly scrubbing roughly at my skin and nails with the brush. I glanced up into the mirror and saw Chibs leave the bathroom out the corner of my eye. A soft broken sigh slipped from my lips as I stood staring at my reflection, I looked down at my stained skin and felt sick briefly before scrubbing even harder to remove the rest of the blood.

I dried my hands, the skin red from my harsh scrubbing, and looked to Chibs sitting on the bed before collapsing next to him. I felt the urge to pour out everything about Kai and Niko to him. I fought the urge heavily and instead leant into him. "Promise me you'll be careful"

He glanced to me and pulled me closer. "Of course I will"

"I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you" I murmured feeling tears breech my eyes, I couldn't bring myself to look up at him.

"Don't cry darlin', nothin's goin' ta happen ta me"

I let my resolve crack and found myself clutching him, Niko and Kai's deaths in my forethought's. _That won't happen to him, Filip can take care of himself._ I wiped the tears away from my eyes finally bringing myself to look up at his face. "I love you" The words were quiet, almost inaudible.

"I love ya too Taru"

I smiled slightly and nestled against him, exhaustion kicking in as I slowly realized I didn't _need_ to always protect myself with Chibs around.


	27. ATF Radar

**ATF Radar**

=Taru's P.O.V=

"Ms Mäki?"

I turned at the voice and gave the blonde a once over. "Can I help you?" I asked turning to face her and rested my weight on my crutches.

"I'm agent Stahl," She opened a badge to show me. "With the ATF"

 _Great fucking feds._ I gave a nod. "What can I help you with?" I asked as the guys from the feed store began to load up the tray of my pickup with horse feed.

"I need to ask you some questions about Filip Telford and the Sons of Anarchy"

I raised an eyebrow slowly and gave a nod. _So what angle is so going to try and play with me?_. "What do you want to know?"

"Well I'm trying to figure out exactly where _you_ fit into their lifestyle," She stated. "I mean a top notch race trainer such as yourself and you're shacking up an excommunicated IRA soldier"

I turned away and rolled by eyes slightly as I opened my driver's side door. "Is there a question in your bullshit somewhere? If not I need to get this feed back to the stables"

"Well I just don't get it, I mean I get that you have parent issue, your father left when you were five, a year later your mother bails on you and only _six_ months after that they find your father with a suicide note and a forty five in his hand…"

"Want to get to the fucking point?" I snapped as I cut her off and threw my crutches onto the seat before hoisted myself up onto the driver's seat.

"What I _really_ want to know is just how much you've seen?" She was pressing harder, trying to get some sort of information from me.

"Club business is club business; it's got nothing to do with me"

She smirked slightly. "What about Filip? Being his old lady must have its perks? You must be privy to what goes on in the club"

I shook my head. "Filip doesn't talk about club business with me and I personally don't give a shit about what the club does in their spare time, they're mechanics and Harley enthusiasts as far as I know" I said with a shrug before shifting in my seat to get comfortable.

"Well if you see or hear anything I want you to give me a call," She handed me her card. "I'll probably want to talk to you again soon," Her lips twitched in a slight smirk. "After all you did take a massive pay cut in accepting a job with Elliot Oswald here in Charming"

I rolled my eyes and glanced to the card as I shut my door before tearing it in half and chucked it to the dashboard. _Fucking ATF scum minion._ I watched as the black town car pulled away from the store before starting my own engine ready to head back to the stables.

* * *

I sighed softly as I groomed Jess; I was itching to ride again and with no one around it was the perfect time to go for a quick ride around the area bareback with her. The 17hh bright cherry bay RID mare snorted softly and mouthed at her bit as I used the fence to slide onto her back before nudging her towards the arena.

I grinned softly letting her pick her own way around the arena; we weaved between the jumps and over the trotting poles at a lazy leisurely walk.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I flinched slightly and looked up to see Marcis holding Hunter's reins; the gelding was tacked and ready for his exercise. "Just having a wander round. I'm not doing any damage to myself" I stated turning Jess towards the arena gate where he was stood.

"You'll get in deep shit if Oswald catches you riding, he told you light duties only, that means both feet on the ground"

I rolled my eyes. "I was getting bored cleaning tack and mixing feeds. This is far more exciting and besides what Elliot doesn't know won't hurt him," I stated with an impish grin. "And besides, it's not like I'm racing around the cross country course on Bridget is it?"

Marcis laughed and shook his head slightly. "You're a damn odd chick Taru," He chuckled softly. "But seriously, get back on the ground before you do some _real_ damage to yourself"

"Yes _mother_ " I said with a sarcastic snap before sliding down carefully from Jess' back wincing slightly as I hit the ground.

"Good"

I rolled my eyes laughing and led Jess back to the stables before grooming her out again and turned her loose with Dev and Duke. I grinned lightly watching Dev's ears perk up, his nostrils flaring as he all but pranced towards the bay mare who in turn was lifting her tail. "Be careful kiddo's" I called before giving Duke a scratch under his neck rug and kissed his nose giving him a few jelly beans.

* * *

I entered the office and sighed softly taking in the mess of paperwork across the desk that I'd been going over before Elliot had left to buy new tack. I hit play on the music on my phone and took a seat getting stuck into sorting out the paperwork again, _'Know Why the Nightingale Sings'_ By Nightwish playing through the room, I couldn't help but grin and sing along to it.

" _What does the free fall feel like?_  
Asks the boy with a spark in his eye  
Know why the nightingale sings?  
Is the answer to everything"

I sifted through the paperwork sorting it into piles before finally filing it away in the filing cabinet.

_"Taking a step to a world unbound_   
_Spinning my fantasies all around_   
_Freed from the gravital leash_   
_I swear the heaven's in my reach"_

I rubbed at the twinge in the back of my neck and grinned softly scratching Buster's head; the small pup was growing little by little and getting stronger every day.

_"Dancing with the spirit of the air_   
_In this ocean so open and fair_   
_Making love to the gods above_   
_On my maiden voyage so bold"_

I stood uneasily and put my weight on leg carefully before limping to the filing cabinet to file away the last of the papers.

_"Landing safely to the blue lagoon_   
_Don't know if this is the earth or the moon_   
_Joy of living is no more a mask_   
_The Eden I found will forever last"_

I looked up at the ceiling; I was going out of my mind crazy with next to nothing to do. Light duties would be the death of me if I couldn't ride for the next month or so if not longer. At least I wouldn't need to use the crutches for much longer, I would be able to swap the bulky hospital crutches for a cane I'd kept from the last time I'd damaged my knee.

_"Migrating with the geese_   
_My soul has finally found peace_   
_Doesn't matter that man has no wings_   
_As long as I hear the nightingale sing"_

"Elliot?" I looked up as Karen entered, her eyes swept over me in confusion.

"He's out picking up new tack and I got stuck with light duties after the track incident"

"Right," She shut the door behind her. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

I glanced to the clock on the wall. "Another half hour maybe, I can give him a call if you want"

"No, he's not answering his phone"

I gave a nod and looked down at Buster as he whined and stroked his head lightly. "Well when he comes back I'll tell him you were looking for him"

"Thanks Taru"

I nodded watching her leave before settling back into work.


	28. You Don't Rat on Family, You Die for Them

**You Don't Rat on Family, You Die for Them**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I winced slightly as I stood and hopped across the room to grab some papers before hopping back and settled down again before handing them over the woman sitting across from me.

"These are legal papers, have a lawyer look over them if you need to and once they're signed you can bring your mare in for service"

"Great, I'll get them checked out and everything first," She said before standing and shaking my hand. "You've been a lot of help Taru, admittedly it was a bit nerve racking, this mare is my baby and you've made it a hell of a lot easier for me"

I nodded as I shook her hand. "It alright, I was the same way when I first bred my Irish mare, just give Doreen in the office a call when you've got everything signed and set up a time to bring in your mare"

She nodded and turned to the door. I followed suit and leant heavily into my crutch before leaning on the doorframe, my eyes resting on Chibs as he sat on one of the leather couches in the reception area. "What're you doing here?"

"Takin' ya ta lunch"

I raised my eyebrow slightly and then gave a nod before turning to grab my things and threw my ute keys at him. The black and red trimmed 2007 Chevy Silverado pick up had become my permanent work car now. "You're driving" I stated picking Buster up and headed towards the small car park.

* * *

I took a seat in the cafe booth; I could feel everyone's eyes on us as they watched in curiosity and some in fear of the Reaper on Chibs' kutte.

"What do ya want?"

"Coffee and a pie" I stated shifting in my seat to find a more comfortable position.

"Any preference?"

"Steak or something with steak in it"

He nodded standing and giving me a chaste kiss before going towards the counter. I grinned briefly before giving a nod to Unser as he came in with his deputy.

"Afternoon Taru, how're you holdin' up?"

"Slowly getting better, ribs have stopped aching; knee's still playing up though"

"How's your stallion?"

I grinned softly. "Racing tomorrow if you want to place a bet on him"

I gave Hale a once over, so far I'd never had anything to do with him. "You haven't met my deputy yet have you?" Unser motioned to him. "Hale, Taru Mäki, Taru, Deputy Hale, Taru's Oswald's trainer"

I extended my hand to him. "Pleasure to meet you Deputy"

"Same here" He seemed friendly enough until he spotted Chibs walking back over, his eyes sliding into a narrow glare of hate.

 _Someone_ _ **really**_ _doesn't like Chibs, it's either that or he doesn't like the club._ I smiled up at Chibs as he stopped at the table.

"Unser, Hale," He nodded to them before sitting down. "What can we do for ya today?"

"Nothing, just introducing Hale to your Finn"

I rolled my eyes lightly. "I've got a name kiddo's and I'm sitting right here" I stated dryly before grinning softly.

"We'll leave you to your lunch"

I gave a nod and looked to Chibs before tipping my head towards Hale. "You piss in his coffee or something?"

He looked to Hale and chuckled softly. "He doesn't like the club"

"I gathered as much when he was giving you a death glare," I chuckled softly and remembered my meeting with the ATF agent. "There's an ATF agent with a lady boner for the club" I stated casually with a straight face and broke out into a fit of laughter as he snorted the mouthful of coke he'd just taken out onto the table.

"What?"

"You heard me"

"Jesus fucking Christ Taru," He began laughing as he cleaned himself up. "Ya never cease ta find some new way ta amaze me"

I gave him a lopsided grin. "So, ATF minion?"

"She's goin' after those with the most ta lose; watch ya back around her"

"I wasn't planning on turning my back to her; she grilled me this morning about you and the club"

"What'd ya tell her?" He took the defensive.

"Don't get your back up, I only told her that you were all mechanic's and Harley enthusiasts as far as I knew"

"Good" He seemed relieved.

"I don't see what _I_ have to lose though, my papers, visa's and shit are valid and up to date, Elliot made sure everything was in order before I got here"

He shrugged slightly. "She's a fed, be careful around her; she'll probably threaten ta deport ya or somethin', it'll be somethin' small, somethin' stupid but she'll use it against ya"

I gave a light nod. "She decided to go dig up a grave that she shouldn't have"

"What do ya mean?"

"My past, she dug up an old grave she shouldn't have," I shifted and gave a nod to the waitress as she put the plates on the table. "I told you I was raised by my grandfather right?"

He nodded lightly in confusion. "Ya lost me love"

"Both my parents bailed on me within a year of each other"

"Ya got anything she can use against ya?"

"There's plenty that _could_ be used against me but _nothing_ can be tied to me"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do I even _want_ ta know what ya have done?"

I shook my head. "No," I stated leaving the topic of my own past alone. "But bear in mind I can be just as... _eccentric_... as Tig can be crazy"

He shook his head lightly chuckling softly. "I suppose I should be thankful I haven't seen that side of ya yet then"

I shrugged lightly and finished off my coffee. "She wanted me to give her a call if I saw or heard anything, give me a card too"

"Where is it?"

"In piece on the dash I think"

He grinned softly at me. "Good, she's tryin' ta use Rico on the club"

I glanced up at him to see if he was serious. "You don't rat out family," I stated causing him to look up at me over the top of his glasses. "You do everything you can to protect them even if it means a few years in prison or death"

He gave a light smile and turned back to his glass of coke without a word.


	29. More Questions

**More Questions**

=Taru's P.O.V=

"Taru?"

I glanced over my shoulder to find Hale stood behind me and nodded to him. "What is it Deputy?"

"I need you to come into the station; Stahl has more questions for you to answer"

I furrowed my brow. "Now? Seriously?" I sighed softly. "God damn it," I murmured and gave a whistle towards Maria. "Finish getting Brick ready for Marcis," I stated before turning to Hale and grabbed the crutches that were leant against the wall. "Alright, just let me grab my hoodie and shit from my pickup," He gave a nod walking beside me as we made our way towards my Silverado. "So what exactly does this ATF bitch want with me? I already told her what I know"

"Just a few more routine questions"

"Can't be _routine_ if she sent you to pick me up and drag my crippled ass down to the station"

He looked over at me as I pulled my keys out and unlocked my pickup before grabbing my hoodie and throwing it on. I checked my pockets and locked my pickup again before nodding to Hale.

* * *

"Please sit" Stahl motioned to the seat across from her, her face ripped up pretty good.

"What happened to you? Piss off the wrong person?"

She gave me a glare as I sat. "One of the SAMCRO inmates, Otto Delaney, did this" She seemed pissed off completely as she spoke.

"Guess you must have deserved it then," I stated leaning my crutches against the table and stretched my legs out carefully wincing slightly at the pain in my knee. "Going to tell me why you had Hale drag my sorry crippled ass in here? Or do I get to play the great game of guessing Fed motives?"

She smirked slightly. "Cocky little thing this morning aren't you?" She asked. "Brendan Heffner" She pushed a photo of a dead fat white man towards me.

I furrowed my brow. "Who?" I briefly remembered Cameron telling Chibs and Juice about Heffner and his involvement in McKeavey's death.

"A state official, he was found gunned down in the projects"

"And?" I was confused as to where this was going. "You bought me in here to talk about some black on white hate crime?"

She chuckled softly. "Well what I want to know is SAMCRO's involvement with it"

I rolled my eyes. "I already told you, they're mechanics and Harley lovers"

"Are you sure about that?" She pushed another photo towards me, another dead male. "Michael McKeavey, Irish gun dealer that was found dead a few weeks ago"

"You've lost me; you think the club was involved in this?" I queried.

Her lips curled slightly. "Well what _I_ think is that McKeavey was killed by Heffner," She nudged the two photos closer to me. "I'm also pretty sure he's the link between SAMCRO and the _true_ IRA" She stated tapping McKeavey's photo.

I rolled my eyes. "The sons aren't gun runners; they're a club of mechanics with one thing in common, the Harley"

"Uh huh, sure they are," She tapped the photos. "I think SAMCRO killed Heffner as retaliation for McKeavey's death"

"You wanted to know what _I_ think?" I reined in my sarcasm the best I could.

"Sure, why not?"

"I think you're looking at the wrong people; if McKeavey was IRA, as you suspect, I would have thought _they_ would be your first suspects"

"Well they were until the eyewitness fingered these two men" She pushed police sketches towards me. _Oh Shit._ One was a sure fire match to Bobby, the other resembled Opie almost.

I shrugged lightly pushing them back towards her. "Taken up trying to sketch real life have you?"

Her smirk turned cruel. "You know, I found some very interesting information on you over night" She opened a manila folder and took out a photo from the top and pushed it towards me.

I couldn't help but laugh as I picked it up. "God damn I was young back then" I placed the mug shot photo back down on the table, it was my very first mug shot.

"You were weren't you, only twelve years old when you gained your first charge, assault if I recall correctly"

I shrugged lightly. "As you've already correctly deduced I have parental issues"

"Yes, you do don't you," She looked to the pages in the folder. "I just don't get it, you finished school early at sixteen, two years ahead of everyone else; you've got a proven IQ of a hundred and ninety eight and yet you don't choose to go to university and make something of yourself, you choose to live your life cleaning up after horses and _then_ go and choose to shack up with a filthy Scotsman and the scum he call's _brothers_ "

"Filip is a good man" I spat, my anger spiraling quickly as she degraded the club and worst of all Chibs.

"Hmmm," She ran her eyes over the information contained in the folder idly. "If you say so," She handed me another piece of paper, my marriage certificate. "Married at eighteen after a six month stint in boot camp"

I felt my blood run hot. _She had better not be going to guilt trip me with Niko._ "Point being?"

"No, no point, you had a son as well," She looked up giving me a smile, a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Cute little boy wasn't he?"

 _So she's going to try and guilt trip me with both Niko_ _ **and**_ _Kai's death's. Good fucking luck bitch._ "He was my son, what do you want me to say?"

She pushed another photo towards me, this one of a woman and a girl. "Know who they are?"

I shook my head confused. "Should I?"

"They're _Filip's_ family" She sneered slightly as she spoke his name.

"I already _know_ he has a family," I stated laughing softly. "If you're trying to break me with _this_ then you're not very good at your job"

"Bet he didn't tell you that they're still _married_ did he?"

I felt my heart jump into my throat. _What? That's bullshit, why in hell's name wouldn't he tell me that?_ "Now you're resorting to bullshitting me? And here _I_ was thinking _you_ couldn't sink any lower"

"I'm not lying Taru, Fiona Larkin is still married to Filip Telford"

"Bullshit"

She smirked slightly. "It's not, it's the truth, he was excommunicated from the _cause_ and then left Ireland," She pushed the marriage certificate towards me. "They never got divorced; Fiona Larkin is still technically Fiona Telford"

I scowled softly. _He is gonna have hell to pay once I get out of here and see him, must refrain from punching him as hard as I can though, don't want to break his jaw or something stupid._ "If she's married to him why isn't _she_ in Charming? Why is he in _my_ bed every night? Why is he _fucking_ me every night?" I couldn't help the satisfied smirk that slipped to my lips, the look on her face spoke that she'd expected a completely different reaction. _Ha! Put_ _ **that**_ _in your pipe and smoke it bitch._

She regained herself quickly and dropped another photo on the growing pile. "Lucky to survive this crash weren't you?" I took in the photo of a mangled wreck that had been a red Honda prelude I used to drive as a teen, the same mangled wreck that had fucked my knee completely. "Drunk driver wasn't it? He died on impact after being thrown through his windscreen"

I nodded slightly. "I've still got the scars if you want to see"

"No, I don't think I need to see them," She flipped through the pages. "What do you know about these?" She threw a photo onto the pile of a truck with oil drums.

"Oil drums?" _They really have been doing their homework haven't they? Sneaky little bastards._ "I would _assume_ its the oil from the garage" I stated with a shrug.

"Yeah, not the answer I was looking for," She stated before coming to stop on another page. "The men that butchered your husband and son, never caught were they?"

I snapped my head up from looking at the photo of the oil drum to stare at Stahl. _Oh you are_ _ **not**_ _going to use their deaths against me._ "And?" I snapped hotly. _I'm not letting you do this, you're not going to use Niko and Kai against me, I won't give you the god damn satisfaction._

"You dragged your heels with the police, took _days_ to give them a decent recount of what happened"

"I was in shock," I stated. "Encase you didn't realised I lost both the love of my life and my own flesh and blood in one god damn day" I spat, my anger steadily rising.

"I would have thought a woman like you would have done _anything_ to find out who murdered them," Her eyes were cruel as was her tone; she was intending to inflict emotional pain even though she kept a compassionate face. "Your husband, Niko, died in your arms didn't he?" She threw a photo to the pile. Niko lifeless face staring back at me. "He died in your arms on the kitchen floor"

 _You are_ _ **not**_ _using this against me._ I felt a tear in my eyes. _I'm not going to give you the_ _ **satisfaction**_ _of watching me break down._ My anger flared slightly. _**No one**_ _uses my own god damn past against me._ I ran a finger over the photo before turning it over. "Where the hell are you going with this? Or do you just _enjoy_ dragging up the worst day of my fucking life?" I snarled.

"I would have thought a mother would have done _everything_ to find the murderer of her child," She threw another photo to the pile. This one of Kai, I flipped it over unable to look at it. "His throat was slit from ear to ear and _you_ let his killer walk, _you_ dragged your heels, _you_ let the case run cold"

I stood quickly, ignoring the pain that flared through my knee, and slammed my hands on the table. " _Haista vittu_ Stahl! I _loved_ my family, they were my  _everything_ and they were ripped away from me!" I yelled out. " _No one,_ especially some ATF scum who's on a _downward spiral_ with her career, is going to use their god damn _deaths_ against me!" I felt my body shaking with anger. "You can't _guilt trip_ me into ratting on the club when I know _nothing_ about what they do," I wanted to lay into her so badly. "Now unless you're fucking charging me with something I'm leaving" I spat viciously, my knuckles white from gripping the table, I was trying to refrain from reaching over the table and choking the life out of her.

The door opened quickly, Unser there with Hale hovering behind him. "What the _hell_ is goin' on in here?"

"I'm _leaving_ is what's happening," I spat before grabbing my crutches and headed towards the door. "Next time you try and use my husband and son's deaths against me you'll have a damn good reason to arrest me," I spat, a hint of danger in my tone before I looked to Unser. "I need a lift back to the stable"

"Of course, I'll take you myself"

"Thank you"

Unser nodded before looking to Stahl as she stood. "You need to get away from the club Taru, you'll end up the same way Niko and Kai did" Stahl stated as she walked out of the interrogation room.

I shook my head. "You've dug through my past, you know I went to boot camp," I looked to her. "Did you bother to read the letter of recommendation from the sniper instructor?" She furrowed her brow slightly, she obviously hadn't. "I'm more than able to take care of myself; I don't _need_ Filip or the club to protect me when I've been doing a cracking fucking job of it for the past seven years" I took my hoodie as Hale handed me my things and slipped it on before nodding to Unser.

I followed Unser out and gave a nod of thanks as he held the door open for me and helped me into the passenger's seat of his cruiser before shutting the door over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And don't say Stahl wouldn't resort to these tactic's to get her information because we all know she's a god damn sadistic bitch
> 
> Haista vittu = Fuck you


	30. In Venere Veritas

**In Venere Veritas**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I pulled into the Teller-Morrow lot and headed down towards the garage before parking my Charger and sliding out. I glanced over the garage and settled my eyes in a glare on Chibs. _Rein in the anger, must_ _ **slap**_ _only,_ _ **not**_ _punch._ I let out a calming breath and headed over towards the garage.

"Hey Taru"

I gave a curt nod to Half-Sack as he spotted me, Chibs turned from the car he was working on and smiled lightly. I put on a smile and unhooked one of my arms from my crutch as I stopped before him.

The slap reverberated through the workshop making it fall silent, his face snapped sideways as his hand came up to the quickly reddening flesh my hand had just connected with. "You are a _real_ fucking piece of work," I spat at him. "What was I? A good piece of _ass_ and a quick _fuck_ whenever you felt like it?" His face was confused. "Didn't think it would a god damn _good idea_ to tell me your still fucking _married_ ," I snarled lowly, aware of all the eyes on us. " _Before_ we started fucking?"

"Taru…"

"Save it," I spat. "I _really_ don't give two fucks about your god damn excuse"

"At least let me explain…"

" _Äpärä_ ," I snarled. "Why in hell's name should _I_ even bother to listen to you? How do I know it won't just be another complete set of _bullshit_?" I shook my head slightly and went to turn away.

"Please," He grabbed my shoulder and stopped me from leaving, his tone one of pleading. "At least let me explain everything to ya before ya storm off and get yaself hurt"

I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and lowered my head for a moment leaning heavily against my crutches. _Do I_ _ **really**_ _want to listen to him? Do I_ _ **really**_ _want to hear his excuse?_ I gave a soft aggravated sigh and nodded. "Fine"

He nodded to the clubhouse. "In the chapel, we won't be disturbed"

I nodded and waited for him to wipe his hands. I shot a warning glance towards Half-Sack who was about to speak up, he backed off and quickly went back to his duties in the garage as we made our way across the forecourt towards the Clubhouse where the rest of the boys were stood watching us.

"What's goin' on?" Jax asked as we got closer.

"I need the chapel for a minute" Chibs stated looking to Clay in question.

Clay looked between us for a minute before nodding. It was the one room in the clubhouse where we wouldn't be disturbed without good reason.

I settled on the edge of the table as Chibs shut the door. "Start explaining and so help me god if you spin some bullshit lie to me that sadistic ATF bitch will be the _last_ of _your_ worries"

"I'm not gonna lie ta ya Taru"

"Better fucking not," I mumbled before raising an eyebrow waiting for him to explain everything to me. "Well?"

"Fiona and I _are_ still married," He started. "But I haven't considered Fiona ta be my _wife_ in a very long time"

"And this is supposed to make it alright?" I snapped folding my arms over my torso.

" _No,_ no it's not supposed ta make it alrigh'," He sighed softly collapsing into one of the chairs. "I know ya angry at me Taru, I don't blame ya, ya have every goddamn right ta be pissed"

" _Pissed_ is the fucking understatement of the century Filip"

"That _bastard_ who got me excommunicated from the cause, he wanted Fi from the very beginning, he did all of this ta get her from me," He stated with venom. "My Kerrianne was only a babe when I had ta leave; I was _forced_ ta leave Belfast so, about ten years ago, I transferred from SAMBEL to SAMCRO"

I watched him for a moment. "Still doesn't answer my question" I stated before he looked up.

"As I told ya before I haven't considered Fi ta be my wife in years," Anger entered his eyes. "She's that _McPricks_ woman now, not mine," He spat his words darkly before putting his head in his hands and letting out a frustrated growl. "It was never meant ta be this way Taru, I was gonna tell ya when I needed ta tell ya, I kept puttin' it off 'cause I didn't know how ya would react"

I looked to him before tipping his face up. "Stupid move kulta," I stated. "I wouldn't have reacted as badly as I have if you'd just told me in the first place" I stroked the pad of my thumb over the reddened flesh of his cheek.

"I know, I know," He sighed leaning back in the seat. "I made a complete muppet of myself" He murmured.

I grinned softly and nodded. "That you did, just like when you pulled that stunt of breaking into my house at three am"

He chuckled softly before rubbing at his cheek and wincing slightly. "Guess I should be thankful ya didn't punch me or have that bloody bat with ya aye?"

I nodded. "The thought did cross my mind but I decided at the last minute I didn't want to run the risk of breaking your jaw" I gave him a lopsided grin.

He looked up with wide eyes, eyes searching mine for the truth. "Ya a god damn fire cracker sometime Taru"

"What can I say? I think I may have a mild case of ADD, ADHD or something along those lines" I stated with a shrug before leaning over him to hug him.

"Come on," He stood after our long hug. "Before the boys all think ya killed me or somethin'"

I nodded leaning into my crutches before following him out to find the main room filled with the club, Gemma included. They looked between us wanting an answer.

"Is something the matter?"

"No, all sorted out now" I stated with a happy grin.

Gemma's lips quirked in a smile before she shook her head and made her way over as Chibs headed to the pool table to play a game against Tig. "What happened?"

I looked to her as she sat down and took a seat opposite her before shaking my head. "Doesn't matter now, it's cleared up that's all that matters"

She frowned lightly before nodding. "Alright," She tipped my chin up. "You look like you've been crying"

I nodded. "I have"

She glanced in Chibs' direction. "Anything to do with what happened?"

"No, something completely different"

"Want to tell me?"

I shifted in my seat as one of the crow eaters slid two bottles onto the table. I nodded a thanks to her before taking a long drink. "Stahl," Gemma's eyes quickly came up to mine. "She had Hale pick me up this morning at work, trying to grill me about the club, McKeavey and the Irish," I traced one of the beads of water rolling down the glass of my bottle. "She tried to get me to rat by using Niko and Kai's deaths; she tried to guilt trip me"

"Niko and Kai?"

I looked up to Gemma and remembered I'd never mentioned them to anyone in the club outside of Chibs. "My husband and my son," I stalled taking in a breath rethinking whether I _really_ wanted to go down this path again. "They were killed seven years ago," I closed my eyes briefly as the memory threatened to make its way forth. "I came home one afternoon, front door was forced open," I focused my eyes on my bottle. "Niko was bleeding on the kitchen floor with a knife between his ribs keeping the bleeding mostly contained," I looked up to her, she was watching me silently. "We were in debt to a guy named Donnic Koivu, he came to collect on the debt," I clarified for her before dropping my eyes back to my bottle. "Niko died in my arms on the floor before the medics could get to him," I felt tears breech my eyes. "Losing Niko I can deal with, what cuts the deepest is losing Kai," I traced another bead of water. "He was seven years old," I let out a shaking breath, my tears ready to fall. "I found him in the bedroom," I mimicked my throat being slit and saw her wince slightly. "I lost them both in the same day," I let out another shaky breath before draining my bottle. "But then what doesn't kill us can only make us stronger right?" I asked looking up to Gemma.

She gave a slight nod, a stormy anger behind her eyes. "God damn ATF bitch"

"She's a sadistic bitch I'll give her that," I brought my eyes up to Gemma's. "But _no one_ uses my own god damn past to hurt me, _no one_ uses their death's to guilt trip me"

"What'd she say?"

"That it was my entire fault; that _I_ let the killer walk, that _I_ dragged my heels, that _I_ let the case run cold," I shook my head slightly. "Koivu isn't a man to be fucked with, if I'd been strong enough to go after him back then I would have, I would have taken that shotgun he loves so bloody much and blown his fucking brains out but a month after Niko and Kai were buried I got jumped in downtown Helsinki," I shifted my tank top so she could see the scar down my side. "His minions tried to kill me, beat me half to death and I still managed to crawl my sorry broken ass six blocks to the nearest hospital," I shifted in my seat getting comfortable again. "They tried to gut me and failed, adrenaline is powerful thing when you've got a _will_ to survive"

"So you never got a chance to kill the bastard?"

My eyes met hers before I took a chain out from down my shirt, an empty .308 shell on it. "I killed the bastards that killed Niko and Kai and if the chance ever arises I'll kill Koivu too" I stated letting the necklace drop back against my chest.

"I definitely underestimated you Taru; you hide that _'crazy Finnish bitch'_ side _far_ too well"

"Trying to hurt me is one thing, trying to hurt my family and friends is another, that _'crazy Finish bitch'_ side of me has always served me well"

Gemma chuckled softly nodding towards Tig. "You and he would make a killer team, deadly and efficient with an all-round _crazy_ streak"

I gave a grin and nodded. "That we would"

We both broke out into laughter causing the boys to look towards us in confusion only earning more laughter from us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Äpärä = Bastard


	31. Sweetbutt's and Blacking Out

**Sweetbutt's and Blacking Out**

=Taru's P.O.V=

Things were beginning to come right between Chibs and I again, I'd made an attempt to put the whole _'He's still married'_ incident behind us and so far it was working. He'd confessed it all to me and we'd begun to move on from it.

I rolled a smoke as I sat on the picnic table, Jax next to me with Tig sat in front of us watching Chibs in the ring with Half-Sack, he was busy teaching the prospect some new brawling moves to use in the ring against his opponents.

I wet my lips watching his muscles move under his skin, a light sheen of sweat covering his skin as they sparred. "Come on Prospect even _I_ could hit better than that!" I hollered with a grin. The three of us had been yelling shit at both of them, teasing them relentlessly while we drank and smoked.

I lit my cigarette, blood flowing to all the right places watching Chibs fight in the ring even if it was just a small sparring session. I watched Half-Sack hit the matting again and lay there panting lightly.

"Go hit the shower prospect" Chibs stated before sliding out of the ring and pulled his gloves off with his teeth before making his way over and took the cigarette from between my lips and kissed me quickly placing the cigarette between his own lips.

"You should go hit the shower too" I stated after catching a whiff of his scent. Admittedly the sight of him all sweaty and the smell to go with it had my head spinning as my hormones surged through my blood.

"Goin' ta join me?"

"Maybe later kulta"

He gave me a pout before heading inside to shower and change. It was long after he left that Jax left leaving Tig and I alone on the table, we'd come to a point where we were friends but stronger. "How're you and Chibs doing?"

I looked down to him and gave a shrug. "We're doing alright," He gave a nod taking a drink from his bottle; he had something on his mind. "What's on your mind?"

He looked up before shaking his head. "Nothin' much," He shrugged lightly. "The usual, guns, pussy and gettin' my dick sucked"

I shook my head laughing and watched him for a minute. It was something big but he didn't want to let on. _Probably club business._ I rubbed at the back of my neck and shifted stretching my legs out with a slight wince. I'd taken to using a cane now instead of crutches, I'd already used the black solid metal cane with silver tip and wolves headed handle on Tig when he'd tried to scare me and sure enough he hadn't done it since. "I'll leave you to your day dreams of having your dick sucked then" I stated standing carefully and leant against my cane as I made my way inside to join Chibs.

* * *

I leant against Chibs, his arm around my shoulder's as we watched Half-Sack spar with Juice. I shifted my weight as my knee began to ache and looked over as a car came through the back entrance of Teller-Morrow. I watched for a moment as it pulled up and a long leggy red head got out of the driver's seat.

I looked up to Chibs as I felt him tense; a quick glance behind his glasses at his eyes confirmed that he was watching the red head. I furrowed my brow and glanced back at the skinny white piece of trailer trash that had stepped out and felt anger flare through me before I shrugged his arm off roughly.

He looked down in surprise until he caught my glare. "Taru…"

"Who the fuck is she?" I snapped hotly.

"I don't know" He wasn't even _trying_ to make it a convincing lie.

"Do _not_ bullshit me kulta" I all but snarled at him before turning away and grabbing my cane, I headed towards the spot where my Charger was parked.

"Where are ya goin'?"

"Haista vittu! Its none of _your_ fucking business" I threw over my shoulder before stopping. I watched the red head, she was thin, perfectly tanned, a pair of black extremely short shorts on with a white boob tube and high heels. I shook my head as I clenched my fists and limped on towards my Charger.

I watched for a second as she smiled brightly and opened her arms to hug Chibs. The Charger's engine roared as I pulled out almost clipping her causing her to jump out of the way and sped out of the Teller-Morrow lot.

I drove fast, red lining it as I tore along forty four, my stereo pulsed the beat of ' _Wishmaster'_ by Nightwish, it was up as loud as it could go without distorting. I couldn't care less about anyone or anything on the road, no cops would be able to catch me if they saw me and I sure as hell wouldn't be stopping for them if they did.

I pulled up at one of the abandoned lumber sites and sighed softly before killing the engine. I needed to destroy something and with no people around I could settle into emptying a couple of clips from my eagle. I reached into the glove box and pulled out the silver .50 cal desert eagle with black grips, I grabbed a box of cartridges and slipped out.

I loaded my secondary clip slowly my mind going over everything that had happened as I slid the first clip into place and took my stance aiming at the piles of stumps. I raised the gun looking down the barrel and let rip, each shot hitting at least one of the stumps. I sighed softly, it didn't take long to empty the clip. I ejected the clip and slipped the next one in before taking a stance again.

I drove for as long as I could after my firing practice at the lumber yard, my petrol tank running on empty by the time I pulled into the car park of a random bar in Santa Monica. I'd contemplated calling Angel and having her come out with me but it would be too late for her to find a baby sitter for Jade.

I sighed softly and slipped out, if need be I could use the passenger's seat of my Charger; it wouldn't be the first time I'd done it. I dusted myself off and headed inside before settling at the corner of the bar.

"What'll it be?"

"Jaegerbomb" I murmured. I was intent on draining my sorrows with as much alcohol as my body could handle.

* * *

I took shot after shot and slowly progressed from shots into beer and finally hard, straight spirits.

"Hey beautiful"

I looked wearily at the guy beside me; my mind was shot to shit. "Not interested" I stated before draining another glass.

"Come on babe, I promise I'll be gentle with you"

"I said _not interested_ " I snapped before ordering another glass of Jack.

"Come on," He tugged at my arm. "It'll be fun I promise"

"Fuck off _Kusipää,_ I'm taken" I spat before turning my attention back to my glass. My vision swimming and mind slowly slipping away from me, I drained the glass and stood slowly, my legs shaking and body weak. I was mentally and emotionally _spent_.

I fumbled with the keys to my Charger and dumped my stuff inside before the overwhelming urge to throw up gripped me. I slammed the door shut and turned away as I emptied the contents of the past few hours to the gravel beside my Charger.

I cringed softly holding my guts as fire spread through them. I wanted to walk, I wanted to die, I wanted to knock that piece of red headed ass out before I revived her and choked the living shit out of her. I locked the Charger and headed towards the middle of the car park, I vaguely remembered seeing a small pier when I'd first arrived.

I stalled briefly emptying the contents of my stomach again against some poor slops car and groaned softly holding my head, my vision wavering slightly. _God damn the drink caught up with me fast tonight._ I gripped my head vaguely aware of the set of headlamps that were illuminated the car park and getting closer to me as I slid down the metal of the car next to me, a sinking feeling settling in my chest. _God damn bartender, I knew something was off with him but shit_. I gripped my head as it felt like a bullet was ricocheting around inside my brain tearing it to shreds.

The screech of tyre's made me groan again until I felt a hand around my wrists pulling me to my feet. _What the hell? What's happening?_ My hazy mind was slowly blacking out; the alcohol, and whatever drug had been in it, had fucked with me deeply. My depth perception shot to shit, limbs heavy, movements sluggish and reality siphoning away from me.

I shuddered as my body hit a cold metal floor, a door slamming shut in what sounded like the distance as I rolled onto my back attempting to sit up. _God damn it, this is_ _ **not**_ _the way I wanted to die. I wanted to die in a fiery explosion or a rain of god damn bullets, not being abducted by some asshole in a van._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haista vittu = Fuck you
> 
> Kusipää = Asshole


	32. Quick Fixes

**Quick Fixes**

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I shuddered as I woke, a bad feeling still present in my gut and had been since Taru had stormed off. _She's only just forgiven you for the entire Fiona thing; she'll never forgive you for this._ I glanced to the sweetbutt next to me and groaned softly shoving her away from me as I stood, I was weary, I hadn't slept much at all during the night, my insides tied up in knots and mind spiraling through the stages of anger just as it had the night before when I'd taken up some hang-around, who was mouthing off, on his offer of a bare knuckle brawl in the ring.

I looked into the mirror above the sink as I rested heavily on the forearms and gripped the sink, my lip split, the dark shadow of a bruise forming around my eye and a deep cut to my jaw. I snarled lowly at my reflection. _How could you be so stupid Filip? You knew she would come back to see you eventually._ I hung my head. _Why in hells name did I have to go and fuck her at the clubhouse up north? Goddamn sweetbutt!_ I shook my head slightly. _She said she'd come down and see me again, I should have just pulled a goddamn Tig on her and never bothered with her again._ I pulled away from the sink before heading back into my bedroom. _But no, I had to say 'I'd like that'. But this was all **before** Taru and I got together, she's got no real reason to be pissed. But then any good old lady **would** be pissed if some young cute looking sweetbutt came waltzing in when she was around._

I shoved the blonde from my bed roughly watching as she hit the floor with a hard thud. "Get out" I growled grabbing some half way decent clothing from the desk. A whimper caught my attention drawing it to the small puppy that had taken up a residence in my sock drawer. Taru had stormed off leaving Buster behind. _At least she has a reason to come back here._

I grunted softly a headache brewing in the back of my mind, ribs tender from the pummeling they'd taken, I briefly remembered the fight, I'd _wanted_ to be hurt, I'd _allowed_ him to get the upper hand on several occasion, I'd _let_ him beat the shit out of my ribs.

 _Hopefully she come in today, I'll at least be able to see the extent of the damage I've caused._ I hung my head and sighed deeply, an unsettling feeling had taken root in my chest as I grabbed my kutte and headed out towards the bar. _Might as well kill my hangover with more alcohol._

* * *

=Taru's P.O.V=

I woke shivering from the cold breeze sweeping over my naked body; my wrists raw, throat dry and body sticky with only god knows what because I sure as hell didn't, I didn't remember a god damn thing about the night before, all I had was flashes, flashes of getting drunk, flashes of the bar, flashes of random people, flashes of that fucking van that I'd eventually passed out in.

I sat up, body shaking from fear and the cold; wherever the hell I was it was a fucking dump. I looked around and spotted my clothing in a mess on the floor. I stood on shaky legs, my knee considerably weaker than it had been last night.

I stumbled across the threadbare brown carpet and into the bathroom; the mirror was cracked and rusted, shower nothing but a concrete floor with an almost see through curtain attached to a steel rail. I dropped to my knees before praising the dirty cracked porcelain god sitting in the corner, mouth and throat burning as I threw up acid and whatever else was in my stomach.

I shook as I began to cry and curled up against the wall. _Why did I get so fucking drunk?_ My entire body blazed in pain, every joint creaking and protesting as I tried to stand. _That's right. Chibs and that god damn red head._ I rubbed my eyes looking at my reflection in the mirror, my hair was a mess, face bruised and busted up pretty well, a cut to cheek bone, shadow of a bruise forming around my bloodshot eyes, nose bloody and cut, lips chapped and swollen.

I touched my neck lightly, bruises from fingers around it. _They tried to choke me?_ I felt fear bite into my chest. _Just how close to death did I come? I don't remember a visit from the reaper so it can't have been that close right?_ I ran my fingers over the puffy bruised bite marks across my shoulders, a darkening patch across my ribs, bloody puffy bite marks over my chest and abdomen. I lowered my head leaning onto my forearms on the vanity, my entire body shook violently as I cried, my hips were dotted with red welts, ones continuing down the outside of my thighs, blood present on the _insides_ of my thighs.

I turned away from my reflection, sickened by the sight of myself, and flicked the shower on before limping in using the wall mostly for support.

* * *

My head pounded as I limped along the sidewalk, each step was unbearable, the weight on my injured knee making it weaker with each step. The seedy little motel I'd awoken in was a good two blocks behind me now as I made an attempt to find my Charger, my keys clutched in my hands tightly digging in deeply.

I held my ribs and sucked in a breath before contemplating on heading to Angel's to crash once I got back to my Charger but once I thought of what the look would be on her's and Jade's faces I thought better of it, she'd seen me through enough hell, this was one I would quite gladly go through alone to spare both her and Jade from my current state.

My hands shook in my pockets, I was well aware of the eyes on me every time I walked past someone; I looked a wreck, face a mess, clothes torn up and limping whilst holding my ribs. I probably looked like a fucking hobo but I couldn't have really cared less at this point in time, all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and put a gun to my head to blow out what was _left_ of my brains.

By the time I found my Charger I was tired, sore and ready to die, my head pounding even worse that it had when I'd woken up. It had taken me an hour to find my Charger and it would take me another three or four hours at least to get back to Charming in order to curl up and go to sleep for the rest of my life.

I fished out my keys with shaky hands and looked around the now almost empty car park; my cane was lying where I'd dropped it the night before when I'd slid down that piece of grey shit Nissan. I grabbed it before returning my Charger and slid in shaking still. My wrists were raw, skin cracked, bloody and weepy still; the majority of my injuries had begun to bleed again while I showered but admittedly I'd been too rough in trying to get rid of the stench of vomit, alcohol and sex.

I shook as I slipped the key in the ignition and started the engine. I flicked through my music turning it down low before hitting play. The whispered lyrics of _'Beautiful'_ by H.I.M playing softly through my speakers as I pulled out of the car park onto the road.

I was still shaking when I reached the stables, I wanted to lose myself in work, I didn't care what I was doing, I just wanted to do something to drag my thoughts away from hurting myself and being alone in my house was driving me _insane._

I tied Duke up, I was stiff and sore and he knew it too. He snorted softly nuzzling my cheek gently as I brushed him slowly, I'd opted to wear a thin long sleeved dark red turtle neck skivvy with a hole in the ends of the sleeves that my thumbs were currently hooked through under a plain black tee over the top and a pair of baggy black cargo pants with a pair of old heavy black Doc Marten's.

"You're late"

"Paska!" I yelled out dropping the brush I was using and turned at the sound of a voice before placing a hand on my chest taking a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart.

"What happened? Are you alright?" There was genuine concern in Elliot's voice as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I flinched away and inwardly cursed myself to the ninth ring of hell and back. "I'm fine" I managed to bit out. My senses in hyper driver from the scare.

"Did you get into a fight?"

I looked up and then remembered my face was busted up pretty well. "Yeah," I couldn't even be bothered to try and sound convincing. "Went into Santa Monica last night to drink"

"Take the rest of the day off, Marcis and Maria can pick up the slack"

I nodded lightly. "Thank you," I jumped at the sound of my own voice, it sounded small, broken, defeated. "I need to take the Charger into the garage anyway; I've been neglecting my upkeep of her"

He nodded. "Alright, I'll take care of Duke"

I shook my head. "I'll do it"

He gave a nod as I put Duke's cover back on and took him back to the paddocks.

* * *

By the time I rolled up to Teller-Morrow it had just passed lunch time, I groaned lowly knowing the boys would either be sitting outside eating and talking or in the garage working. I pulled up outside one of the doors and spotted Half-Sack, he waved with a bright smile which I struggled to return before sliding out of my Changer after pulling my hoodie up doing the best to cover my face.

"Hey Taru!"

"Hey" My voice was hoarse and dry.

"You alright?"

I nodded. "Fine, just a migraine" I murmured and made my way to the office pulling my glasses off as I went.

"About bloody time you showed up, Oswald just called saying you were on your way over…" Gemma stopped her rant as I pushed my hood off. "What the _hell_ happened to you?" She almost yelled causing me to wince slightly.

"I need someone to check the Charger, I've been neglecting it recently," I stated ignoring her questions and the fact she was assessing the damage to my face. "Timing belt needs changing, oil change, new breaks, a set of new tyres and full system flush" I said hoarsely before rubbing at my dry throat.

She nodded slowly. "Has Chibs seen your face yet?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine, it was a drunken bar brawl"

"Where?"

I cleared my throat. "Lodi"

She raised an eyebrow crossing her arms over her chest. "Don't lie to me" Her eyes slid into a glare at my lack of cooperation.

"It was Lodi" My patience was wearing thin.

She frowned at my tone and tapped the toe of her boot. "You'd better come up with a real answer sometime soon darlin' because this shit is getting on my nerves, don't make me bring Chibs or Tig out here just to get a god damn answer out of you"

I debated my situation briefly internally and after a quick mental debate I looked up meeting her eyes finally. "Santa Monica" I said after a short silence.

"You went _all the way_ to _Santa Monica_ just to get drunk? I don't think so darlin', now tell me the god damn truth" Her patience was wearing thinner than mine. I was skating on thin ice when it came to Gemma and the truth, I could either tell her to truth and end up with the look of sympathy that would soon follow it for I could keep trying to lie even though I was failing dramatically at it and would probably end up in her bad book for the rest of the week.

I froze seeing Tig step into the office from the garage, he stalled seeing me and blinked taking in my face. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Drunken brawl last night" I murmured looking away from him. I was ashamed for him to see me like this.

"Where is the asshole? I'll gut him and leave him for the crows to feast on" He spat.

"He's in Santa Monica" Gemma stated before looking pointedly towards me.

"Santa Monica? What the hell were you doing up there?"

"Drinking" I snapped, I wanted to crawl home and curl up. I didn't want to be grilled by everyone over my god damn face.

Gemma gave Tig a glance and nodded towards the door before he left and jogged towards the clubhouse.

I handed her the Charger's keys. "I need a rental"

She shook her head. "Last one went out yesterday" She stated.

I sighed softly. "I'll walk then"

"Don't be stupid, you can't walk with your knee"

"I'll be fine" I stated and turned to head out the door, I bunched my hood around my throat and saw Tig coming back over with Chibs in tow.

"I'll have the prospect do it" Gemma stated as I left to grab my things and begin the trek home.

"Hey Prospect," Half-Sack looked up. "You dent my Charger you become no sack got it?"

"Yes ma'am" He stated with a proper soldier's salute as Gemma threw him the keys.

"Taru…"

"Leave me alone" I flinched away from the sound of a spanner falling in the workshop slowly opened my eyes to find hazel ones watching me in worry.

"I'll give ya a lift love"

"I can walk" I bit out.

Chibs winced at my tone before shaking his head. "Ya can't walk, not with ya knee the way it is"

"Did just bloody fine this morning," I muttered softly flinching away from his touch and stepped back as he went to touch my face. "Just leave me alone"

I felt eyes on me and turned to see Gemma heading towards me with her bag. "I'll take you home" She said it with that tone that left no room for an argument and I nodded lightly.

"Thank you"

She gave a nod and nodded towards Chibs. "Go fetch Buster; he can keep Taru company at home today"

He nodded walking off to fetch the small pup. I glanced at Gemma and knew she would gain the truth out of me one way or another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paska = Shit


	33. Preparations

**Preparations**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I looked up at my house as we pulled up, it felt good to be home, I felt safe almost. "Want to come in?" I asked nodding towards the house, my neck stiff and painful.

"That's what I was planning"

I gave a light nod and picked up Buster before slipping out of the car and heading towards the front door.

I placed the bundle on the couch and turned to the door sliding the three locks across before turning back to see Gemma watching. "I used to live in a shitty area, three locks was customary on the doors" I explained, in truth ever since what had happened to Niko and Kai I'd always had three locks on the doors.

I nodded towards the hall. "Kitchen's through there" I stated before heading down there to get a drink and pop some more pills. I heard her following and turned into the kitchen before reaching for the coffee pot.

"So this is your place huh?"

I looked up and nodded wearily. "This is my slice of hell" I murmured filling the pot and putting it back in the machine before hitting the power switch.

"So you going to explain what _really_ happened in Santa Monica?"

I leant on the oven and braced myself on my forearms before letting my shoulders slump. "I don't remember"

"How much did you drink?"

I shrugged. "Shots first, then beers and then spirits, I spent _hours_ drinking," I stalled and rubbed the back of my neck. "No matter how much I drink I _always_ remember what happened"

"Always?"

I nodded. " _Always,_ " I felt a rush of emotions, my body shaking slightly as I turned and slid down the front of the oven with my head in my hands as I cried. "I don't remember a god damn thing"

She knelt before me and pulled my hands away from my face. "What _do_ you remember?"

I tried to calm myself. "I remember drinking, I remember stumbling my sorry ass out to my Charger, I remember throwing up beside some shitty grey Nissan, I remember a black panel van and I remember being dragged into it"

"Where did you wake up?"

"Shitty little dollar a night motel by the pier"

She touched the cut to my cheek bone causing me to flinch away. I didn't want to be touched by anyone. "One of your drinks get spiked?"

I shrugged lightly. "It must have," I pulled up the sleeves on my skivvy to show her my wrists. "Fucking bartender was shifty to begin with and when I drink alone I accept drinks from _no one_ "

She nodded. "You need someone to take a look at these"

"Those aren't my only ones"

"I'll call Tara"

I froze for a second before nodding. "This stays between us though, Chibs doesn't find out"

"He'll want to know what happened, so will Tig"

I shook my head. "I don't care, it was a fight and that what I'm sticking to"

She pursed her lips before nodding. "Alright"

I stood slowly and pulled out two mugs before making the coffee. I felt numb inside, everything hurt and I just wanted to sleep for the rest of my life.

* * *

"Why were you drinking in the first place?"

I looked up at Gemma from the kitchen table. "You remember when Cherry first showed her face?"

She furrowed her brow nodding before sighing softly. "The rules got broken?"

I nodded. "I've got no problems with Chibs going out on a run and having some fun as long as it's _my_ bed he comes back too but when that red headed piece of tanned ass came into TM yesterday it was like a kick to the teeth, she's gotta be what? Twenty if that, good body, nice tits," I sighed softly slumping in the chair. "It was either lose it and deck either of them or lose myself in the bottom of a bottle of Jack, I chose the latter" I felt tears in my eyes and sighed softly, my body too tired to care now.

I jumped at the sound of the door and let out a shaky breath, my insides knotted beyond all hell as Gemma went to answer the door. "She's in the kitchen"

I looked up to Tara who winced at the sight of my face. "You should really got to St Thomas, you could have a concussion or worse"

I shook my head. "No records, no nothing" I stated as she sat down across from me and began to get her things out.

"Alright," She glanced to Gemma. "Can you give us a minute?"

She nodded leaving before Tara stood. "What other injuries have you got?"

I stood slowly and stripped myself of my shirts refusing to look at her as she inspected each of them. "Does Chibs know what happened?"

I shook my head. "And he _doesn't_ find out either, neither do Jax, Tig, or any of the _other_ boys" I stated, probably with more force than I needed to but I _had_ to make it clear that the no one was to find out outside of us three.

She glanced up and nodded. "Ok but I need something to tell them when they ask"

"It was a drunken bar brawl in Santa Monica, that's the story I'm sticking too"

She exhaled slowly checking the bruising on my throat before nodding. "Alright," She handed me a card. "If you won't come to St Thomas you need to get checked out at a sexual health clinic, just to be safe"

I nodded lightly taking the card and placing it on the table before Gemma walked in and stalled. "Jesus Christ, they did a good number on you didn't they?"

"I don't know what's worse," I stated as I sucked in a breath from my tender ribs as Tara prodded them carefully. "Not remembering a thing or the fact that I was fucking stupid enough to spend a night along in one of Santa Monica's worst areas"

I sat back down at the table after pulling my shirts back on. "I'll show my face to collect my Charger once the bruising around my neck fades," I stated looking to Gemma. "I don't want questions I can't answer"

She nodded slightly as I stood slowly. "I won't tell them but Chibs'll eventually want to know the truth, just remember he's a brawler born in the slums of Glasgow, he knows what fight wounds look like, not to mention he'll be around here asking you every question under the sun until you tell him something," She paused. "Or deck him," She threw me a light grin. "Whichever comes first"

I nodded slightly thanking Tara before she left. I felt a bite of shame and stopped Gemma in the doorway. "I..." I cleared my throat bringing my eyes up to hers. "I _want_ to tell Chibs what happened," My voice weak and pathetic as I spoke. "But I can't," I glanced over at Tara as she pulled away. "Understand where I'm going?"

Gemma nodded and brushed back a strand of hair from my face. "Of course I do darling"

"Give me a few days to gather my thoughts and shit thought, I'm still not sure if it's a good idea, the last thing the club needs to be dragged into something like this when there's two gangs at their back door ready to spill blood along with ATF and those whitey piece of scum"

Gemma seemed to give it some thought before nodding. "Alright, but you take care of yourself, you've got a piece right?"

I nodded. "And I've got a Remington, an eagle and several baseball bats," I stated before struggling a smile. "I think I've already demonstrated how lethal I can be"

She gave a nod before unlocking the door of her caddy. "If you need _anything_ call the clubhouse"

I gave a nod before watching her leave and locked the door after her. I looked to Buster and sighed softly before turning on the TV and hitting the power button for the Xbox 360 ready to play whatever the last game had been in there.

It seemed like minutes but it had in fact been hours since I'd started playing by the time my cell began vibrating before spewing some god forsaken tune at me. I furrowed my brow and hit accept before pressing the phone to my ears.

* * *

I put my cell down on the coffee table, a smile spread across my cracking lips as I settled my eyes on a photo of Dev and I, a 3/4 shot of us bareback and bridleless, the Helsinki racecourse blurred in the background, me astride his back hunched forward hugging him around the neck, cheek pressed against his short mane.

I felt a giddy joy seep up through my guts and skin. _I can't believe it Dev, we've done it,_ _ **you've**_ _done it._ I laughed out in joy and happiness. _We're going to Aintree._ I picked up my bottle of beer and raised it towards the photo in a toast. "You and I handsome, we're going to the grand national"


	34. Leaving Town

**Leaving Town**

=Taru's P.O.V=

I felt so much better than I had the day before, the good news about Dev getting into the Grand National had overtaken my fears and pain, it had given me a new hope for life. I grinned softly and looked to Buster on the Pickup seat beside me as I pulled into the Teller-Morrow drive and headed towards the garage.

I'd decided against covering my wounds, the bruise's were my battle scars and this was all part of my recovery, I _needed_ to show them off, to show I couldn't be _broken_ , to show my spirit couldn't be _killed off_ because of one fucked up night that I barely even remembered, even if they did raise eyebrows and questions I couldn't or didn't want to answer.

"Gemma"

The matriarch looked up in surprise as I entered the office. "What are you doin' here?"

"I wanted to ask if you could look after Buster for a while"

She frowned slightly. "Why?" Suspicion in her tone.

"It's nothing bad, I'm just leaving town for a while"

She eyes me cautiously. "Just yesterday I witnessed you at the lowest point I've _ever_ seen you and now here you are grinning like a maniac on crank who just took out a sorority house of porn sluts"

"What can I say? I have a few screws loose," I stated tapping my head. "But, beyond the question of my mental health, I'm leaving for England for a while"

"England? Why are you headin' there?"

"Grand National"

"The horse race?"

I nodded and couldn't suppress the grin that slid to my lips. "Dev made it in"

She stood up with a grin. "That's great news"

I nodded. "With any luck he'll win," I found myself smiling. "He wins; he retires a legend and a champion"

I turned to see Tig and Clay as they came in. "What're you two so happy about?"

"I'm leaving for a while, Dev made it into the Grand National"

Tig grinned sweeping me up and hauled me over his shoulder. "This calls for drinks" He stated heading towards the clubhouse where the boys were all filing out.

"Put me down asshole" I grunted and kneed him to the gut making him drop me roughly on the ground. I stood slowly and winced slightly placing very little weight on my injured leg.

"What's going on?"

"Taru's little money making stallion got into one of the biggest races in Europe"

I grinned painedly, my torso sore from being over Tig's shoulder. "He's going to be in the Grand National" I clarified leaning onto my cane. I caught hazel eyes and looked away seeing them filled with pride and happiness.

"I say we throw a party and celebrate"

I shook my head. "I can't stick around, I need to pack my shit and get Dev trucked to the airport ready to fly out tonight"

"Tonight?"

I nodded. "The race is in a few weeks and it's going to take a day or two to get there, plus Dev will need time to settle in"

"Then we'll drink in your honour" Jax stated clapping me on the back.

I chuckled softly giving a nod. "Sounds good," I looked to Chibs, it was obvious by the look on his face he wanted to talk to me in private. "But I need to go and run around like a headless chicken now"

"You come back safe, I don't want to have to fly halfway around the world to kick some English ass because they got outta line" Tig stated with mock seriousness.

I gave a nod as I said my goodbyes and headed out to my Pickup.

"Taru..."

I stopped and turned back towards Chibs. "We've got nothing to say to each other kulta"

"So that's it?" His voice lowered. "Ya won't let me explain, ya won't let me apologize"

"Look," I took a step towards him. "The whole _'you're still married'_ thing I could deal with, _this_ , this is too much"

His eyes moved over the marks on my skin. "It wasn't a fight was it?"

I stalled and flinched lightly under his careful, caring touch and shook my head. "It wasn't," I confirmed silently before pulling away. "And before you ask I don't know what happened, I got roofied or something like that must have got slipped into one of my drinks" I looked up at his broken face.

"What do ya remember?"

I shook my head lightly. "I remember nothing from the night, on a few events before hand and waking up in some shitty little dollar a night motel in the morning" I flinched slightly as his fingers came to rest on the bruise around my eye socket. I could see the anger behind his eyes, he was trying desperately to rein it in and control it.

"Ya my old lady Taru, nothin' like this should have happened ta ya" There it was, the defeat in his tone, the defeat and anger that he couldn't keep me safe no matter how hard he tried.

I shook my head lightly, a brief flare of anger biting in. "Well we can see if that's the case when we get back," I snapped lightly before sighing softly. "I _will_ come back kulta and if you can promise me that shit like this won't come back to bite me in the ass again I'll take you back but you _need_ to give me _time_ to think, time to clear my head, time to focus on Dev and winning this race"

He nodded mutely. "Alrigh' but at least let me explain..."

Put a finger to his lips and shook my head. "You've had your chance to explain and you didn't, I saw it in your face kulta when that red headed piece of pussy got out of that car, you knew you should have told me and to make it worse you _lied_ to me," I chuckled softly. "It was a pretty pathetic one too," I added. "But right now _I_ need time, I think being in separate countries might give us time to think and time to see if this is what we truly want from each other because let's face it," I gave him a light mischievous grin. "I'm _never_ going to be good old lady material, I dig my own grave and then I lie in it even if it buries me six foot under in concrete, I'm too used to defending myself, it's embedded in my DNA"

He looked up and nodded. "Can I at least give ya a goodbye hug before ya go traipsin' halfway across the world ta win this race?"

I nodded and wrapped my own arms around him as he hugged me tightly. "Tell Jax I'll send Abel something from England for his homecoming party"

Chibs nodded as we pulled away. I desperately wanted to kiss him and forgive him for what had gone down but then I'd meant everything I'd say to him, we needed to sort out our shit and see if this was truly ever meant to work out between us. I looked at him for a second before smiling weakly and placed a hand on his cheek, my thumb brushing lightly over the _Glasgow Smile_ forever carved into his face. _"_ _Minä rakastan sinua_ _Filip_ _,_ _en todellakaan"_ I murmured.

Turning away from him was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life but I _needed_ to do this, I _needed_ to head to England, I _needed_ to win this race, I _needed_ to spend some time gathering my thoughts and feelings and I _needed_ to be by myself.

* * *

=Chibs' P.O.V=

I watched Taru get into her Pickup and drive away leaving me stood in the shadowed driveway, her words still playing in my head. _"_ _Minä rakastan sinua_ _Filip_ _,_ _en todellakaan"_ They played over and over in my head, I had no idea of the meaning behind them but the look in her eyes when she'd spoken them, it was one of love and devotion and the look that had been in her eyes when she'd finally turned away was one of complete and utter heart break.

 _Come back to me Taru, I don't think I could live with myself if something happened to you while you were away._ I watched the tail lights on the Silverado fade in the distance and turned back towards the clubhouse, I wanted to be alone, I wanted to break down and god damn cry. I wanted to cradle her in my arms again like I had so many times before, I wanted to sink into her and watch her ride herself to her own release on me, I _wanted_ so many things but I had failed to _give_ her a reason to stay especially after all the bullshit she'd put up with from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minä rakastan sinua Filip, en todellakaan = I love you Filip, I really do  
> Next story is: Horsepower, Leather and Oil.


End file.
